Flowings of Your Everlasting Taffyman

First off thank you to Illy (who will never see this cuz she dont go online) and Kristen who will cuz she cool like that for making this a good day, second thanks to anyone with the patience to write comments even though stupid enetations will probably just erase them anyway. So now I figured I'd clear some shit up cuz I keep saying I will talk about stuff later, well its 3:08 and you are all in bed, so thats late enough no?
__Ok so since like 7th grade (I really dont know how long Im just making a stupid guess here) I have been trying to like be honest and open, and figure myself out and blah blah blah. So a few winters ago (winters are the worst, they make me a little psycho) I got this john frusciante cd (he is the funny looking guy who plays guitar in the red hot chili peppers) anyway he has 3 solo albums 2 of which I have and 1 of which he doesnt want sold cuz he thinks he wrote it for drug money (which is probably true) so anyway i got the first one for christmas from my brother who bought it at cd warehouse or something for like 5 bucks. So I started listening to this cd like non stop cuz first off its really weird, second its pretty beautiful and third it just sent me to another world. This cd by the way is called Niandra LaDes and Usually Just a T-shirt. Anyway the cd which everyone I have shown it to thinks is just ok, is one of my favs cuz it kinda documents this man's descent into madness and heroin addiction. So during the winter I started listening to this like basically all night and I changed I became a little weird It was like Fight club shit where I would put it on and wake up the next morning and wouldnt remember what I did that night, but I'd have all these weird writings and drawings and scribblings and it wasnt good stuff but I could tell it meant something to me, so I started dabbling in this whole "going inside" thing which basically just meant I allowed myself to be honest with myself for a few mins and although this led me into a deep depression each night I would wake up feeling very relieved and found it much easier to cope with life, so thats that I occasionally allow myself to digress a bit. Plus its always fun to see what comes out though it can be a bit scary. but like john frusciante says "you dont throw your life away, going inside, you get to know who's watching you, and who besides you resides, in your body." Um Its good to find out who you are you know? personally I cant think of any other way to live, though find your own method of course. plus it shows what is influencing your daily life. (the other cd I have of his is called To record only water for 10 days and is much more POPish but still pretty cool at the same time and I fell in love with it and about 5 chicas in a week in Italy.) hmm what else, that call for help finding a girl friend, I just been lonely lately, which usually means I end up thinking of the only major (not really major just big in comparison to nothing you know?) relationship I have had in my life which would be Nikki, I wish I could tell you the story but I dont think she would enjoy that plus I dont even know what the story is cuz I have twisted it around too much in my brain. All I know is I really liked this girl once and then we had a falling out and I got really really pissed for a while and then I felt really guilty for it but every time I tried to make it up I just ended up messing things up more and I have a hard time letting go. But now she is like a whole new balanced and cool person in the eyes of the world and Im just pathetic its weird very very odd oh well, what else. Oh spilling your guts aint so bad plus you know I'd give you all this shit in person so whats the point in keeping it private? strangers make great friends. Apparently the new perkins isnt even 24 hours cuz I went up there at like 4:30 am some morning and they were locked up. Lets see tickets nope quit asking I'll keep ya posted, Franklin ave played friday I just about passed out cuz the depot is hot as shit. Those guys are good musicians but they aint got no emotion, not the greatest lyrics either though they can jam live which is nice, still im for the old school rockers anyday. Whatever yall can wait no? its good to hear from yall cats that keep talkin not necessarily on here I mean call e mail anytime I love yall have good day remember its all good yo