Tuesday, April 27, 2004

I need to learn more about myself the world, it takes time and though its not always right to do so, sometimes it must be done. i wake up crabby too often now...
Tim was recently published in an online journal this should take you there

tim also made it clear a couple of months ago that certain sites would not be up again so i figure i will take them down, Bye bye mp3.com

Sunday, April 25, 2004

Something you can hardly call a reasonable post-updated for the sake of updating


I been playing a lot of civ 3, relaxing, tryign to solve some problems that arent to be solved and only then all in my head. So i spaz out every so often and i may still be on that path. Its hard to remember to smell the roses when they are all seemingly covered in dog poo

Friday, April 16, 2004

Remember that time i went to prom in drag?

its a little bit different color dress this time....

Thursday, April 15, 2004

"I could say bella bella, even say wonderbar! each language only helps me tell you, how grand you are!"

no more skipping class, and get your work done mike

Monday, April 12, 2004

Khalil Gibran

On Friendship
And a youth said, "Speak to us of Friendship."

Your friend is your needs answered.

He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.

And he is your board and your fireside.

For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.

When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind, nor do you withhold the "ay."

And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;

For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.

When you part from your friend, you grieve not;

For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.

And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.

For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.

And let your best be for your friend.

If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.

For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?

Seek him always with hours to live.

For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.

And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.

For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.
khalil Gibran

On Giving
Then said a rich man, "Speak to us of Giving."

And he answered:

You give but little when you give of your possessions.

It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

For what are your possessions but things you keep and guard for fear you may need them tomorrow?

And tomorrow, what shall tomorrow bring to the overprudent dog burying bones in the trackless sand as he follows the pilgrims to the holy city?

And what is fear of need but need itself?

Is not dread of thirst when your well is full, thirst that is unquenchable?

There are those who give little of the much which they have - and they give it for recognition and their hidden desire makes their gifts unwholesome.

And there are those who have little and give it all.

These are the believers in life and the bounty of life, and their coffer is never empty.

There are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward.

And there are those who give with pain, and that pain is their baptism.

And there are those who give and know not pain in giving, nor do they seek joy, nor give with mindfulness of virtue;

They give as in yonder valley the myrtle breathes its fragrance into space.

Though the hands of such as these God speaks, and from behind their eyes He smiles upon the earth.

It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked, through understanding;

And to the open-handed the search for one who shall receive is joy greater than giving

And is there aught you would withhold?

All you have shall some day be given;

Therefore give now, that the season of giving may be yours and not your inheritors'.

You often say, "I would give, but only to the deserving."

The trees in your orchard say not so, nor the flocks in your pasture.

They give that they may live, for to withhold is to perish.

Surely he who is worthy to receive his days and his nights is worthy of all else from you.

And he who has deserved to drink from the ocean of life deserves to fill his cup from your little stream.

And what desert greater shall there be than that which lies in the courage and the confidence, nay the charity, of receiving?

And who are you that men should rend their bosom and unveil their pride, that you may see their worth naked and their pride unabashed?

See first that you yourself deserve to be a giver, and an instrument of giving.

For in truth it is life that gives unto life - while you, who deem yourself a giver, are but a witness.

And you receivers - and you are all receivers - assume no weight of gratitude, lest you lay a yoke upon yourself and upon him who gives.

Rather rise together with the giver on his gifts as on wings;

For to be overmindful of your debt, is to doubt his generosity who has the free-hearted earth for mother, and God for father.

Monday, April 05, 2004

In a flash my confidence level goes from 10 to 1 and the things i hold to be true vanish

why continue?

there are those around you who may need your help and in doing so, you will find yourself again.
allow them to help you, for in reality its a very selfish world and self reliance is not enough to get by on. You must have help and you must give your help your love your truth your beauty in order to receive it.

I dont know what I've done, or what happened, I only know I hurt when those around me do, i only know that I cannot exist with out them.

help me, call or write