Mr Rogers is dead yo! that aint right man just aint right.
In other news i probably be going out to CO to see pete in about 2 weeks, and about a week after i get back go to see Gabs in montreal. Also I have no clean underpants. "dude does it just suck to be you?" im pretty sure thats from bsaketball, like remur talking to kenny. yep so im a nerd, back to reading books, and hoping someone calls me.
Thursday, February 27, 2003
Tuesday, February 25, 2003
"Is there anybody out there? "
i have multicolored hair you?
so lets see, i went to sos today, dyed my hair, or rather had sarah dye it for me, and uh saw donnie darko which is pretty interesting. Other than that lousy just lousy. No actually i had a wonderful day saw some old pals, some teachers who i admire, the new gym, found out people are still being active in the 2 major groups i participated in in highschool, all sorts of fun. just good times, also i had a dream last night that i was giving a friend a massage in a movie theater yep thats about it. For now, i no there aint nothing to comment on but im getting roughly the same amount of visits as i did when i was away, so someone ought to say something k? how bout u! u look nice. Peace and love Taff
i have multicolored hair you?
so lets see, i went to sos today, dyed my hair, or rather had sarah dye it for me, and uh saw donnie darko which is pretty interesting. Other than that lousy just lousy. No actually i had a wonderful day saw some old pals, some teachers who i admire, the new gym, found out people are still being active in the 2 major groups i participated in in highschool, all sorts of fun. just good times, also i had a dream last night that i was giving a friend a massage in a movie theater yep thats about it. For now, i no there aint nothing to comment on but im getting roughly the same amount of visits as i did when i was away, so someone ought to say something k? how bout u! u look nice. Peace and love Taff
Monday, February 24, 2003
hey one of the blogs i read has some nice anti war propaganda currently Ned
also if ur ever bored and looking for more blogs i tend to read Ben's pretty religiously, bard may seem incredibly elite and i would never fit in there but i have always looked up to elitest in a stupid way and these guys spill their lives publicly which is like "hey kid, i know u like this sort of shit, so here it is." and thats the story of the day. Cuz i didnt do nothin but work today, mad little kids(as in many) too many peoples who's ages i cannae tell.
also if ur ever bored and looking for more blogs i tend to read Ben's pretty religiously, bard may seem incredibly elite and i would never fit in there but i have always looked up to elitest in a stupid way and these guys spill their lives publicly which is like "hey kid, i know u like this sort of shit, so here it is." and thats the story of the day. Cuz i didnt do nothin but work today, mad little kids(as in many) too many peoples who's ages i cannae tell.
Olde english site back up link on side, me at work tonight, i'll give ya a free soda (paid for by me) if ya stop by. Hmm the dead puppies sketch is pretty rough, i believe it is what got them so many visitors to their site that the site overloaded or whatever but OK. So i started reading this book, im like on page 25 or something so really i havenae gotten anywhere, but its a book my mom recommended about men finding their hearts through regaining their masculinity so thats real fun for me to read, but at the same time a lot of it seems to ring true, still got that nature vs nurture thing but its also a religious book so they feel they can skip that with out a second thought. Oh well maybe i will broadcast some of it later. Who knows when or where we will go from here, spend most my life trying to tame that fucken beast that hear people will like me better without who the hell cares though really, we just babbling baby we just babble our life away.
Sunday, February 23, 2003
So u may or may not know that i got a couple of religious peoples in my family, ordained religious folks, so anyway there is going to be like a march and remembrance funeral thing for the not yet dead of the upcoming war, from the cathedral to the capital march 16th anyone interested?
those of you who arent religious will have to put up with some relgious stuff and those of you who arent political will have to put up with some political stuff but still good cause, me thinks.
also sorry for that overly vague post but i been told to keep it all on the DL so what am i supposed to do?
those of you who arent religious will have to put up with some relgious stuff and those of you who arent political will have to put up with some political stuff but still good cause, me thinks.
also sorry for that overly vague post but i been told to keep it all on the DL so what am i supposed to do?
the state of things
So im laying in bed right? and im thinking up scenarios in which friends of mine are hurting, this used to be paranoia based on reality, maybe still is, but sometimes u get frightened by bad news, gossip and drama.
When I was in europe i mostly heard good shit from home, stuff made me want to return, and though i knew some stuff was probably a bit rough, i figured its all good and it is. gabs was kind of asking about how it is returning and seeing people, i was telling her of picking up old roles i played, roles i longed to play while i was away. I enjoy them they give me purpose they give me joy, seeing smiling faces, or sad faces and being there at least to comfort. But it can be a bit overwhelming sometimes. You get one situation figured out, you do it honestly morally, u work things out for the better, u hope. The next situation arises, kind of wonder how u can do the same, new and different. And you wonder if you should even get involved, you wonder if you already are because that one person told you, that one person is relying on you to comfort them and you dont know how yet, so u ask around. and should u ask around? gives away too many secrets give way to too much gossip too many peoples feelings let out, even more drama created even more feelings hurt, and after all couldnt we all just be overreacting? isnt it true thats it's just one person's issue? shouldnt we give them that, allow them to handle it, put faith in them to work it out? dont steal other peoples moods mike, dont do all their worrying for them, still u wait for that next coffee shop talk, that next half silenced conversation on the phone or even the internet (just hoping u dont make them feel like a thirteen yr old) secrecy and confusion why not tell him? why not tell her? your friends? your parents... is it pride or confusion or basic ill honesty that holds us back? and from where and when will the real comfort come... its all a world of mixing no? several billion mal-adjusts dependent and independent of each other
but really sometimes mike just needs to dance at a concert, write vicious bad poetry and draw in red and black.
So im laying in bed right? and im thinking up scenarios in which friends of mine are hurting, this used to be paranoia based on reality, maybe still is, but sometimes u get frightened by bad news, gossip and drama.
When I was in europe i mostly heard good shit from home, stuff made me want to return, and though i knew some stuff was probably a bit rough, i figured its all good and it is. gabs was kind of asking about how it is returning and seeing people, i was telling her of picking up old roles i played, roles i longed to play while i was away. I enjoy them they give me purpose they give me joy, seeing smiling faces, or sad faces and being there at least to comfort. But it can be a bit overwhelming sometimes. You get one situation figured out, you do it honestly morally, u work things out for the better, u hope. The next situation arises, kind of wonder how u can do the same, new and different. And you wonder if you should even get involved, you wonder if you already are because that one person told you, that one person is relying on you to comfort them and you dont know how yet, so u ask around. and should u ask around? gives away too many secrets give way to too much gossip too many peoples feelings let out, even more drama created even more feelings hurt, and after all couldnt we all just be overreacting? isnt it true thats it's just one person's issue? shouldnt we give them that, allow them to handle it, put faith in them to work it out? dont steal other peoples moods mike, dont do all their worrying for them, still u wait for that next coffee shop talk, that next half silenced conversation on the phone or even the internet (just hoping u dont make them feel like a thirteen yr old) secrecy and confusion why not tell him? why not tell her? your friends? your parents... is it pride or confusion or basic ill honesty that holds us back? and from where and when will the real comfort come... its all a world of mixing no? several billion mal-adjusts dependent and independent of each other
but really sometimes mike just needs to dance at a concert, write vicious bad poetry and draw in red and black.
Saturday, February 22, 2003
And my mom comes home, and me and steve go to pick her up, steve with a bloody eye and me talking about elizabeth drumming apparently (dont ask) but anyway my mom talks about scuba diving and diego is happy again, and steve eats a lot. Thats it if anyone wants to do anything tonight feel free to call.
Gabs in town for 1 night only!! (this week)
Yeah so I had some cats over and it was very casual, not too much excitement other then generated by guests (a few excitable people) A couple cats were missed but uh yeah everything was good. Me and Jesss and gabs went out to perkins after cuz the ladies were cravin and uh same old good times.
You ever catch yourself doing something that you realize (after you have done it) is rather like childish or whatever. As in, have a friend over real late, but then when ur parent wakes up you run into the basement to hide. We had one of those situations, it was funny. Steve is telling me about all his junior year scandalousness. Really really nice to see everyone, and talk to yall about stuff. Dont worry bout school girl u be all right.
Yeah so I had some cats over and it was very casual, not too much excitement other then generated by guests (a few excitable people) A couple cats were missed but uh yeah everything was good. Me and Jesss and gabs went out to perkins after cuz the ladies were cravin and uh same old good times.
You ever catch yourself doing something that you realize (after you have done it) is rather like childish or whatever. As in, have a friend over real late, but then when ur parent wakes up you run into the basement to hide. We had one of those situations, it was funny. Steve is telling me about all his junior year scandalousness. Really really nice to see everyone, and talk to yall about stuff. Dont worry bout school girl u be all right.
Friday, February 21, 2003
Hmm so im having people over tonight, some of which i havent seen in a bit, like 5 -6 months, but i have seen others and that was fine so i shouldnt be all worried right? Ok thanks for your silent assurance. Hmm (looking at the pile of ragged napkins in front of me) apparently i still have to take napkins and paper towels from fast food places and public rest rooms. Survival mode. I cant think of anything to tell ya. Recently people actually started answering my away message questions and that started up some breif but nice convos on love and stuff, caught me off guard though since i have had those same away messages since last spring and no one ever bothered to answer then, i just wasnt ready for it. I attempted to have a sort of pete style party where u just invite everyone but many people said they wouldnt feel comfy, i should have tried harder. Oh well, been doing water colors lately without much quality but its practice, thats what i tell myself. Oh i watched apocalypse now for the first time today, interesting movie, I always wonder how they get those scenes so like realistic, how do they hire entire villages of vietnamese to do these movies? Anyway its kinda of comforting to know others struggle with that good vs evil thing, sanity vs insanity. Fun stuff, horrible shit to watch (as in gross) but good to see they are being honest about war.
I been listening to this one queens of the stone age song over and over, or at least often, just a nice soft, sort of sad song. "mosquito song" sadly thats only lyrics. Oh well pick my mamma up from the airport manana, dont know how to get there. Wish u were here, we gon hav fun tonit peace and love TAff
I been listening to this one queens of the stone age song over and over, or at least often, just a nice soft, sort of sad song. "mosquito song" sadly thats only lyrics. Oh well pick my mamma up from the airport manana, dont know how to get there. Wish u were here, we gon hav fun tonit peace and love TAff
Thursday, February 20, 2003
A quick post on just about nothing b4 i go to my pops house for dinna. Shoo i got the new (but old) queens of the stone age cd, and i likes it. using gift certificates received on my b day celebration (a few days ago) yeah so i walked to target for that one, and i gotta say even though it was nice today and everything its just not as interesting as europe. No offense to park or anything, me and elizabeth both agreed its nice place to live (last night) but i dunno not the greatest eye candy all the time. (especially the winter time) Anyway me and my little brother taught elizabeth how to play poker last night in exchange for some cookies, and um today i watched a movie, and did some water color painting practice. And i corrected the grammar of a Brazilian kid cuz he asked me to. And all of u are going "uh mike corrected grammar oh no.." but i warned him myself so i think he will get a second opinion. thats pretty much it, oh i saw joah R today that was interesting. Hes got nugs if anyone is interested. Also alex c told me he would have a new post soon so look out for that, I am. adios hope to see some cats manana, farewell peace and love
Wednesday, February 19, 2003
So this girl's dad died. I happen to know her, not very well but well enough to go "holyshit" when i heard.
Death is weird makes u wonder about shit. Makes u worry, makes you thankful. Listening to more at the dirve-in. it seems in just about every cd (i dont have all of them so i cant verify) they have a tribute song to a (or several) friends of theirs who have died. These usually tend to be my favorite songs on the cds, just so much emotion so much, to deal with. "in one of them (napoleon solo) the singer (cedric) says "a hint of suspense that the telephone rings, this is forever" I was thinking that's an interesting way to say someone has died, cuz really what else could it be. Gives it a sort of monumental status in just 3 words. Later he screams "if you cant get the best of us now, its cuz this is forever!"
Now in reality i dont know if they are writing about friends, a historical event, whatever but I dont know it kinda hit me.
How easy to die, to make something forever. (excluding several religious ideas of course)
Oh well any thoughts on death? sad and true,
Death is weird makes u wonder about shit. Makes u worry, makes you thankful. Listening to more at the dirve-in. it seems in just about every cd (i dont have all of them so i cant verify) they have a tribute song to a (or several) friends of theirs who have died. These usually tend to be my favorite songs on the cds, just so much emotion so much, to deal with. "in one of them (napoleon solo) the singer (cedric) says "a hint of suspense that the telephone rings, this is forever" I was thinking that's an interesting way to say someone has died, cuz really what else could it be. Gives it a sort of monumental status in just 3 words. Later he screams "if you cant get the best of us now, its cuz this is forever!"
Now in reality i dont know if they are writing about friends, a historical event, whatever but I dont know it kinda hit me.
How easy to die, to make something forever. (excluding several religious ideas of course)
Oh well any thoughts on death? sad and true,
Tuesday, February 18, 2003
i dont want to like overly presume any of you care whether i keep this site going, but i probably will, so if u do keep coming back, and if not well it will probably get more boring as the days go by anyway so ur not missing much.
Hmm so i have been to perkins twice already, thats pretty good in a bad sort of way.
I worked today, saw my boss, everything is cool pretty much, prices went up so i gotta relearn all that shit. I was dancing to pleasure pause and this little girl was laughing at me it was real cute. other than that aint shit going down. Gotta watch a movie tonight.
Last night I watched some pals of mine put in fake dread locks. Always good times. Gabs might be back on friday, if anyone is interested in seeing her. I have been advertising but i dont know if she will even be able to do anything.
Oh well, good to have music to dance to.
Hmm so i have been to perkins twice already, thats pretty good in a bad sort of way.
I worked today, saw my boss, everything is cool pretty much, prices went up so i gotta relearn all that shit. I was dancing to pleasure pause and this little girl was laughing at me it was real cute. other than that aint shit going down. Gotta watch a movie tonight.
Last night I watched some pals of mine put in fake dread locks. Always good times. Gabs might be back on friday, if anyone is interested in seeing her. I have been advertising but i dont know if she will even be able to do anything.
Oh well, good to have music to dance to.
Monday, February 17, 2003
like two things b4 I start here. One this will be a very boring post, not cuz nothing happened, just cuz i aint got nothin to say. Numero dos Illy told me last night her and aimee had a hard time following my posts the whole time i was gone, that seems pretty normal since I am bad at communicating so that doesnt bother me but people, if it dont make sense, write a comment saying "mike what the fuck are u talking about? and i would have tried to clarify at least.
And now onto the post a brief history of a few days. So i did chill with elizabeth the other night and that was wonderful. We mostly just talked no major adventures though we did run out to the grocery store to get a paper. Then i lost money to some youngins at poker, cuz well, i suck.
Yesterday, I had dinner with a bit of my family which was nice, getting back to normal, opened some presents (which i left in the car) got some nice gift certificates. Then went to a movie with Illy which was sweet, nice movie, my big fat greek wedding. (i hadnae seen it.) then we went to perkins where it was reconfirmed im no longer in survival mode, staring at a piece of french silk pie, unable to eat. Also i think money wise i aint worried again. Though thats probably not smart since i do have to save for some trips. But oh well. Saw Ben at perkins, he gav me fairchild's number so now i can hang out with her if she is interested.
Listening t a lot of at the drive-in and local stuff. Starting to type up my scattered journal. This way i can complete my lil album and such, but its hard to type shit out, i actually find some of it really boring. I mean the memories are nice, but its chill shit to read. A very unadventurous adventure.. Hmm gonna go to a movie with my dad today. Getting back to boring journal. Have fun yo.
And now onto the post a brief history of a few days. So i did chill with elizabeth the other night and that was wonderful. We mostly just talked no major adventures though we did run out to the grocery store to get a paper. Then i lost money to some youngins at poker, cuz well, i suck.
Yesterday, I had dinner with a bit of my family which was nice, getting back to normal, opened some presents (which i left in the car) got some nice gift certificates. Then went to a movie with Illy which was sweet, nice movie, my big fat greek wedding. (i hadnae seen it.) then we went to perkins where it was reconfirmed im no longer in survival mode, staring at a piece of french silk pie, unable to eat. Also i think money wise i aint worried again. Though thats probably not smart since i do have to save for some trips. But oh well. Saw Ben at perkins, he gav me fairchild's number so now i can hang out with her if she is interested.
Listening t a lot of at the drive-in and local stuff. Starting to type up my scattered journal. This way i can complete my lil album and such, but its hard to type shit out, i actually find some of it really boring. I mean the memories are nice, but its chill shit to read. A very unadventurous adventure.. Hmm gonna go to a movie with my dad today. Getting back to boring journal. Have fun yo.
Saturday, February 15, 2003
The peace march was fun, 6 blocks or so of slow walking tim chanting, briefly irritating the near by mothers who had their children with them. (since when is fuck a bad word?) All of us smiling at the comical and yet pretty damn serious and cool signs. Traffic slowed, stuck and annoyed but several honks cheered the massive crowd on. If it werent for the weather hours would have been spent smiling and dancing for peace. Too bad we couldnt feel our toes, too bad our mouths were covered by scarfs and such.
So I hung out with tim and kristen today which was pretty cool, just chillin, checkin out dumpstered mags and books and such. Kristen played some nice guitar (she should play more often, write songs and such) Nice to catch up with yall (cuz i know u will probably read this) be nice seeing ya all the time next year.
Hmm what else did we do, saw brent that kids still mad cute looking, nice kid man. Hes learning japanese.
We stopped by elizabeths house catching her in her pjs, the girls got energy we gonna go do something tonight. Maybe adventures, maybe i can convince her to update her site.
Taint nothin else really, my mom left, im taking care of the dog since steve is so damn busy in his old age. Maybe celebrate my and james b days manana. Maybe go to the moon or something, i hear the air is real friendly. peace and love yall. And remember "You can't love others without loving yourself first"
So I hung out with tim and kristen today which was pretty cool, just chillin, checkin out dumpstered mags and books and such. Kristen played some nice guitar (she should play more often, write songs and such) Nice to catch up with yall (cuz i know u will probably read this) be nice seeing ya all the time next year.
Hmm what else did we do, saw brent that kids still mad cute looking, nice kid man. Hes learning japanese.
We stopped by elizabeths house catching her in her pjs, the girls got energy we gonna go do something tonight. Maybe adventures, maybe i can convince her to update her site.
Taint nothin else really, my mom left, im taking care of the dog since steve is so damn busy in his old age. Maybe celebrate my and james b days manana. Maybe go to the moon or something, i hear the air is real friendly. peace and love yall. And remember "You can't love others without loving yourself first"
So its off to chill with kristen and tim today, see, hopefully many smiling peace giving folks chillin in the cold. At the drive in busting off on my cd player. My mom leaves for some scuba diving destination today, i cant remember where. I was checking out Jurwicz's trip journal thing(she has pictures and a fancy map that shows where she went) but anyway I noticed i been to some of those places so its kinda cool. Like going to museums and seeing 300-500 yr old paintings of places u been, its fun. I gotta get working, i got things to do no? Went to my lil bros basketball game last night, they got killed and he didnt get much time. Hopkins is friggin huge. (like everyone is well above 6 feet) Rediculous. I spent at least half the game just laughing at shit max was saying and looking for cats i knew. HMM speaking of cats, cats are wonderful. My cat illy's cat any random cat, they are just cool.. Nice to be back to where you can generally pet a cat without worrying about biting or rabies. Oh well thats it for now, crazy adventures later this is just the remix.
Friday, February 14, 2003
Joel Z's sketch comedy group, Bad comedy
I wish they had some video, or at least quotes from the scripts or something, but other than that some nice pictures, funny advertisements, and interesting ideas.
Other than that, caught up with zach and mike f last night its nice to see half ur friend in the area within a day. Seems they been up to some fun times. Finally saw signs and goldmember and ali and im working on some others tonight no doubt. Um gonna go to my little brothers game tonight hes a big basketball star. Probably one of the most known kids out there since he sort of stand outs. Tall white and bald. Enjoying some light show its good to be home, me thinks.
I wish they had some video, or at least quotes from the scripts or something, but other than that some nice pictures, funny advertisements, and interesting ideas.
Other than that, caught up with zach and mike f last night its nice to see half ur friend in the area within a day. Seems they been up to some fun times. Finally saw signs and goldmember and ali and im working on some others tonight no doubt. Um gonna go to my little brothers game tonight hes a big basketball star. Probably one of the most known kids out there since he sort of stand outs. Tall white and bald. Enjoying some light show its good to be home, me thinks.
Thursday, February 13, 2003
ooh typos galore in past shite, i should be cathcing up on movies or unpacking, or putting together an album or writing or seeing pople but im not 311 radio is on the comp and im writin to you. Did you have a nice day today? i hope u did. I did. I saw Illy and Aimee and that was wonderful, and i chilled with my dads side of the fam and that was interesting, and i went to wrok and found out all sort of interesting things, and saw lil nick. Oh stories you know not these people, possible. Hmm ok now i will go do one of the things listed above. or veg out and watch tv. I worked for 5 mins while nick took a smoke break, weird to be working again but some how natural maybe u will come visit me i work next tuesday (so no SOS) maybe i will go the next week or just some random day and see cats. steve said it might be battle of the bands night hope those cats are having fun, its one of the greatest school event of the year. My kid brother who is taller than me, and stronger, and whiter, and probably better at poker. Oh well im out peace and love leave a comment.
If for some reason those new links (on the side) coem up with my address before them just erase it and go. I dont know why it does it but it does with mine.
Drones, Alex C, gavin, and bob the angry flower, anyone got anything else im supposed to link? thats all that i can remember, but i will probably put the old english (bards comedy troup, several of the blogs i read by members) on when its back up, (they had too many people come to their site so it crashed.)
Um what else, i will probably do a break down of cities I went to (or excerpts from the larger pieces.) and some after thoughts for the trip, as well as the normal blog stuff in el futuro. And if anyone knows why that is happening with the links, u shoul tell me
Drones, Alex C, gavin, and bob the angry flower, anyone got anything else im supposed to link? thats all that i can remember, but i will probably put the old english (bards comedy troup, several of the blogs i read by members) on when its back up, (they had too many people come to their site so it crashed.)
Um what else, i will probably do a break down of cities I went to (or excerpts from the larger pieces.) and some after thoughts for the trip, as well as the normal blog stuff in el futuro. And if anyone knows why that is happening with the links, u shoul tell me
Ok so I get home and i cant even work the damn website from here, rediculous really, no? (this will not be spell checked)
So I had my fish and chips, and got a 40 pence paper with the headline london on full terror alert cuz thats just too good to mis no?
Chilled in Bayswater area london for a bit. Went to bed sitting up.
The next morning I packed and watched cricket for the first time in my life, thats a complicated game, at least the scoring is. Most of the people at the place I was staying were like long term residents so I didnt really try to get in their group or anything. Just chilled, observed. (listening to the drones and you and the sound, tim is funny, he put a quote of mine on their website (im assuming tim did it, maybe someone els is running the you and the sound website though) Speaking of which in custums yesterday i was but hours away from mat and some other cats in chicago, but we will get back to that in a min (ooh story)
So Then I went to the airport, like 5 hours early. Yep, and then I as bored at the airport, cuz well u can only buy so much over priced candy and magazines. I bought a tabloid paper (i think) to compare to the other. Hmm big difference, one has full frontal nudity the other has full frontal army pictures. Which is scarier? which would you want your child to see?
So anyway the had one of those games where you drop a coin in and it falls down and knocks other coins over the edge and its like gambling for 8 years olds... And im eight so there goes 3 pounds, fuck.
Hmm theres not much else to say about heathrow, I didnt actually see any of the 450 armed guards outside. They stick to their positions or blended into the concrete or something. Oh the checks at heathrow, like metal detecters and shit were the best I had seen, thus far. (ooh story) They even made me take off my boots, which I warned them about, cuz well the smell alone is deadly. But they insisted so, the woman held her breath, and did a quick scan, and then insisted I put them back on.
On the plane I managed to have three seats to myself (must have been the smell)
Watched a few movies (basically the bad movies that were going into the theater before i left were now on video) Saw a movie called collinwood, the tuxedo and another that i cant remember.
fumbled around with how to make my custums card not look funny. Apparently did not succeed...
Story time
So I passed through the passport check without problems, the lady even said welcome home and to tell the truth I was feeling really good, slightly nervous, but good. Waited for my bag, wait wait wait, ok it arrives, falls down the thing comes arund the side, I grab it and turn around and Bam "you sir come this way"
"ok" So me and the officer start talking, and he asks me the normal questions (im kind wondering if he is just gonna help me get through custums quicker or if they really do just go by looks in those places.
Well Turns out they go by looks, and the fact that I look like a pot smoker, (or an easily succeptable to the brainwashing of terrorists kinda guy) and the fact that i had a huge bag that kinda stuck out, as well as several countries on the list of possible "bad" places. e turkey morocco and such, well all those things added up to help me none. (yet to be in a situation where they do help) but anyway.
So hes asking questions, and all of a sudden he just drops this little brochure thate says "why is this happening to me" and gives a whole lot of bs about picking "random" people. So I keep answering getting slightly nervous since now I know my bags will be checked. But im still being helpful, "maybe they will respect my personal things" hehehe
So anyway they are taking all my shit out, rather carelessly just going through it like it was garbage, and a lot of it is but hey thats the garbage i been living with for 4 and a half months. Ooh dirty clothes. The guy had to check those out rather good despite the incredible disgustingness of them, because maybe i was holding pot or something. And then they foun the quaran, and things took a change in tone. And they started asking questions sort of under the table, like "how long you been studying?" "studying what?" oh you know islam, that sort of thing, and this persisted a long with several lecture about how america is a great place, (something i wasnt entirely convinced otherwise about, or something) anyway, the guy kept hinting around saying things in arabic occasionally and i refused to give in cuz really there was nothing there, so what the fuck, and you can be sure i would have been a bit mouthy had i not been carrying the next little article they pulled out and showed interest in. A 1.5 liter bottle of pepsi, or rather green liquid in a pepsi bottle. "whats this?"
"uh thats alcohol." "really ok" they continued their search (i was thinking, well thats strange, he didnt even give it a second thought, just put it off to the side, maybe im ok.) OOH a turkish rug, "that looks like a prayer rug. How long you been studying my man?"
"uh I dont think its a prayer rug, just a normal kilim." "yeah but isnt that what you (he says this more like hes asking a question not directly for me, but kinda hinting around still.) use to pray?" "uh dont think so"
So then they find some christian shit and just toss it basically, err rather disregard it. Then they find my journals and sketch pad, and take quite an interest. As if im a talented writer, or artist. I took pride in that, except the one guy was really wondering about some of the journal entries, like reading them to himself. So they are still looking and not really finding anything and the guy asks what kind of alcohol it is, and i tell him its absinthe. He doesnt know what that is, he calls his superviser, then takes me to the side gives me a lecture on america and turning into my father and stuff. (i think he was trying to say i will want to be a capitalist when im older, but my dad works in a school, so he picked a bad example) Anyway none of the officers (there were about 4 or 5) knew what absinthe was so once again i was thinking, im cool im cool, then the supervisor came down and she told me it was illegal and i faked like i had no idea, and "why is it illegal?" i asked later.
anyway they let me off, which was nice of them, and i ran to the bathroom shortly after cuz i wasnt feeling so good. But basically I could have been down for some hefty fines, but they were more worried about me being a terrorist. So i guess terrorism saved me.
Still it was a traumatic experiance. They took my absinthe, dumped it. packed my shit up all awkwardly so that it wasnt evenly distributed, and everything was everywhere. Sent me on my way.
Its cold here.
Minneapolis was nothing. I have been feeling the need to tell everyone this story, but i havenae told my parents, though i did say i got checked at custums.
So it was weird to be home, err is weird. I got in at like 9:45 i think which is like 4:45 spain time (which im still kind of on) and uh i was out of it, nice to see my rents but i didnt know what to say. Steve seems taller. He didnt talk a whole lot.
My mom painted my room and took out my desk and computer, so it seems kind of empty.
I showered, changed into nice clean clothes. even combed my hair, yet to shave (its been like 5 and a half months or so, yet to grow anything really)
Talked to pete, went online, watched american tv. not much else to say. Its weird to be home, i felt kind of like crying on the way home, not sure if it was "glad to be home" or "god this is dull" my home doesnt feel like its mine, im visiting, i once lived here, a long time ago.
Im sure im forgetting something but i dont care. I want to see people, but all the ones who are here are at school. I dotn have my car yet and im not looking forward to going outside, or driving. Im somewhat nervous about meeting people, (im sure this wont be the case) but im sort of wondering if i made the right decision to come back when i did, err now. I got stuff to do but im not ready to undertake it cuz that means im really home. That means there is no going back. On my trip I had several dreams that i came home for week just to say hi and went back out again. This will not be the case. Or at least it will take a while. I have to sign up for college, and shit, go to the bank, get an oil change, go to work, find a job, get everything done. Shit i been avoiding with trips to europe and such. Oh reality you are a dreadful foe, but we shall walk together for a time no? looking forward, looking back, waiting to see you. Peace and love Taff
So I had my fish and chips, and got a 40 pence paper with the headline london on full terror alert cuz thats just too good to mis no?
Chilled in Bayswater area london for a bit. Went to bed sitting up.
The next morning I packed and watched cricket for the first time in my life, thats a complicated game, at least the scoring is. Most of the people at the place I was staying were like long term residents so I didnt really try to get in their group or anything. Just chilled, observed. (listening to the drones and you and the sound, tim is funny, he put a quote of mine on their website (im assuming tim did it, maybe someone els is running the you and the sound website though) Speaking of which in custums yesterday i was but hours away from mat and some other cats in chicago, but we will get back to that in a min (ooh story)
So Then I went to the airport, like 5 hours early. Yep, and then I as bored at the airport, cuz well u can only buy so much over priced candy and magazines. I bought a tabloid paper (i think) to compare to the other. Hmm big difference, one has full frontal nudity the other has full frontal army pictures. Which is scarier? which would you want your child to see?
So anyway the had one of those games where you drop a coin in and it falls down and knocks other coins over the edge and its like gambling for 8 years olds... And im eight so there goes 3 pounds, fuck.
Hmm theres not much else to say about heathrow, I didnt actually see any of the 450 armed guards outside. They stick to their positions or blended into the concrete or something. Oh the checks at heathrow, like metal detecters and shit were the best I had seen, thus far. (ooh story) They even made me take off my boots, which I warned them about, cuz well the smell alone is deadly. But they insisted so, the woman held her breath, and did a quick scan, and then insisted I put them back on.
On the plane I managed to have three seats to myself (must have been the smell)
Watched a few movies (basically the bad movies that were going into the theater before i left were now on video) Saw a movie called collinwood, the tuxedo and another that i cant remember.
fumbled around with how to make my custums card not look funny. Apparently did not succeed...
Story time
So I passed through the passport check without problems, the lady even said welcome home and to tell the truth I was feeling really good, slightly nervous, but good. Waited for my bag, wait wait wait, ok it arrives, falls down the thing comes arund the side, I grab it and turn around and Bam "you sir come this way"
"ok" So me and the officer start talking, and he asks me the normal questions (im kind wondering if he is just gonna help me get through custums quicker or if they really do just go by looks in those places.
Well Turns out they go by looks, and the fact that I look like a pot smoker, (or an easily succeptable to the brainwashing of terrorists kinda guy) and the fact that i had a huge bag that kinda stuck out, as well as several countries on the list of possible "bad" places. e turkey morocco and such, well all those things added up to help me none. (yet to be in a situation where they do help) but anyway.
So hes asking questions, and all of a sudden he just drops this little brochure thate says "why is this happening to me" and gives a whole lot of bs about picking "random" people. So I keep answering getting slightly nervous since now I know my bags will be checked. But im still being helpful, "maybe they will respect my personal things" hehehe
So anyway they are taking all my shit out, rather carelessly just going through it like it was garbage, and a lot of it is but hey thats the garbage i been living with for 4 and a half months. Ooh dirty clothes. The guy had to check those out rather good despite the incredible disgustingness of them, because maybe i was holding pot or something. And then they foun the quaran, and things took a change in tone. And they started asking questions sort of under the table, like "how long you been studying?" "studying what?" oh you know islam, that sort of thing, and this persisted a long with several lecture about how america is a great place, (something i wasnt entirely convinced otherwise about, or something) anyway, the guy kept hinting around saying things in arabic occasionally and i refused to give in cuz really there was nothing there, so what the fuck, and you can be sure i would have been a bit mouthy had i not been carrying the next little article they pulled out and showed interest in. A 1.5 liter bottle of pepsi, or rather green liquid in a pepsi bottle. "whats this?"
"uh thats alcohol." "really ok" they continued their search (i was thinking, well thats strange, he didnt even give it a second thought, just put it off to the side, maybe im ok.) OOH a turkish rug, "that looks like a prayer rug. How long you been studying my man?"
"uh I dont think its a prayer rug, just a normal kilim." "yeah but isnt that what you (he says this more like hes asking a question not directly for me, but kinda hinting around still.) use to pray?" "uh dont think so"
So then they find some christian shit and just toss it basically, err rather disregard it. Then they find my journals and sketch pad, and take quite an interest. As if im a talented writer, or artist. I took pride in that, except the one guy was really wondering about some of the journal entries, like reading them to himself. So they are still looking and not really finding anything and the guy asks what kind of alcohol it is, and i tell him its absinthe. He doesnt know what that is, he calls his superviser, then takes me to the side gives me a lecture on america and turning into my father and stuff. (i think he was trying to say i will want to be a capitalist when im older, but my dad works in a school, so he picked a bad example) Anyway none of the officers (there were about 4 or 5) knew what absinthe was so once again i was thinking, im cool im cool, then the supervisor came down and she told me it was illegal and i faked like i had no idea, and "why is it illegal?" i asked later.
anyway they let me off, which was nice of them, and i ran to the bathroom shortly after cuz i wasnt feeling so good. But basically I could have been down for some hefty fines, but they were more worried about me being a terrorist. So i guess terrorism saved me.
Still it was a traumatic experiance. They took my absinthe, dumped it. packed my shit up all awkwardly so that it wasnt evenly distributed, and everything was everywhere. Sent me on my way.
Its cold here.
Minneapolis was nothing. I have been feeling the need to tell everyone this story, but i havenae told my parents, though i did say i got checked at custums.
So it was weird to be home, err is weird. I got in at like 9:45 i think which is like 4:45 spain time (which im still kind of on) and uh i was out of it, nice to see my rents but i didnt know what to say. Steve seems taller. He didnt talk a whole lot.
My mom painted my room and took out my desk and computer, so it seems kind of empty.
I showered, changed into nice clean clothes. even combed my hair, yet to shave (its been like 5 and a half months or so, yet to grow anything really)
Talked to pete, went online, watched american tv. not much else to say. Its weird to be home, i felt kind of like crying on the way home, not sure if it was "glad to be home" or "god this is dull" my home doesnt feel like its mine, im visiting, i once lived here, a long time ago.
Im sure im forgetting something but i dont care. I want to see people, but all the ones who are here are at school. I dotn have my car yet and im not looking forward to going outside, or driving. Im somewhat nervous about meeting people, (im sure this wont be the case) but im sort of wondering if i made the right decision to come back when i did, err now. I got stuff to do but im not ready to undertake it cuz that means im really home. That means there is no going back. On my trip I had several dreams that i came home for week just to say hi and went back out again. This will not be the case. Or at least it will take a while. I have to sign up for college, and shit, go to the bank, get an oil change, go to work, find a job, get everything done. Shit i been avoiding with trips to europe and such. Oh reality you are a dreadful foe, but we shall walk together for a time no? looking forward, looking back, waiting to see you. Peace and love Taff
Tuesday, February 11, 2003
So this wont be very story like cuz i couldnt possible describe it well enough. But we went t jamboree, which is like a jazz sort of backpackers/tourists with money bar, next to some hostels. Always packed but usually puts on an excellent show, so we went cuz it was half of our last night in barcelona. There were like 9-10 of us, but half decided to smoke a joint at the door and got turned away. So there were 5 of us, but jersey man (old jersey) was off on his on being jazz man, and old japanese lady wasnt sure if she was coming cuz she'd already been there once that night but we saw her later in the crowd, high as a motherfucker, or as high as a 4 foot woman could be.
So it was me, and winnipeg, ecuadorian girl, (emily) and both me and winnipeg were in strange flirtatious moods, horndogged as they come or something, but i threw off those shackles for the music, sort of. Winnipeg just got drunk, cuz what else would a 25 yr old with a business degree he wont ever use, living in barcelona, for a few months funny looking (yet popular) sort of guy do?
Emily was just chill, cute as ever.
And the show opened up long before we arrived, but two saxophone guys, a large human beat box, an upright bassist, drummer, and dj on turntables. played a 15 mins intro in the dark and then the music was a pumping. Dueling sax, fighting for control and yet backing eachothers every step took center, and dancing amongst the crowd ensued (as it should, except next time, less people, bigger room) Anyway, by the end of the night we added an electric bass, a flutist, a guitarist and 2 crazy rappers taking turns dissing eachother's clothes and styles in spanish (which sounds rediculously cool, especially cuz they go so fast u cant tell if it rhymes or not but it flows out they mouths like polluted mississippi into the gulf of mexico.
Winnipeg had left long ago, and me and emily walked home sweating sort of boucing off the walls, ringing in the ears, but in that sort of my mind is blown and i like it way. The jazz, funk, reggae, brazilian, spanish, african, hip hop group (as they called themselves, in a different order) had succeeded in expanding the boundaries of the universe. dj dilemna, a kid who could be 12 or 22 more words per minute then are countable, he won by the way. and this morning, that experiance we had shared amounted to a shy hello before we went separate ways. (shoo) thats for all the cats, not just the chica. SAD
So im in london, im hugry as shit, but its like 3.99 for some kfc or 5.90 for fish and chips the meal i am supposed to have, and i just cant decide which is more worth it. So peace and love I will probably be up at like 5 am ur time(future our time) on thursday cuz jet lag is shite and i wont be able to sleep when its like 12
So it was me, and winnipeg, ecuadorian girl, (emily) and both me and winnipeg were in strange flirtatious moods, horndogged as they come or something, but i threw off those shackles for the music, sort of. Winnipeg just got drunk, cuz what else would a 25 yr old with a business degree he wont ever use, living in barcelona, for a few months funny looking (yet popular) sort of guy do?
Emily was just chill, cute as ever.
And the show opened up long before we arrived, but two saxophone guys, a large human beat box, an upright bassist, drummer, and dj on turntables. played a 15 mins intro in the dark and then the music was a pumping. Dueling sax, fighting for control and yet backing eachothers every step took center, and dancing amongst the crowd ensued (as it should, except next time, less people, bigger room) Anyway, by the end of the night we added an electric bass, a flutist, a guitarist and 2 crazy rappers taking turns dissing eachother's clothes and styles in spanish (which sounds rediculously cool, especially cuz they go so fast u cant tell if it rhymes or not but it flows out they mouths like polluted mississippi into the gulf of mexico.
Winnipeg had left long ago, and me and emily walked home sweating sort of boucing off the walls, ringing in the ears, but in that sort of my mind is blown and i like it way. The jazz, funk, reggae, brazilian, spanish, african, hip hop group (as they called themselves, in a different order) had succeeded in expanding the boundaries of the universe. dj dilemna, a kid who could be 12 or 22 more words per minute then are countable, he won by the way. and this morning, that experiance we had shared amounted to a shy hello before we went separate ways. (shoo) thats for all the cats, not just the chica. SAD
So im in london, im hugry as shit, but its like 3.99 for some kfc or 5.90 for fish and chips the meal i am supposed to have, and i just cant decide which is more worth it. So peace and love I will probably be up at like 5 am ur time(future our time) on thursday cuz jet lag is shite and i wont be able to sleep when its like 12
The mcdonalds and starbucks signs visable from the airplane window hundreds of feet high notified me i was back in an english speaking country. Not that they dont have those in other countries but they dont seem to take as much pride in displaying them so gracefully in the clearest of areas in those far flung regions. Quotes from famous writers greeted me as i moonwalked on the moving rubber pathway. The custum's agent asked her questions suspiciously, a sign of things to come.
My flight plans secured (manana i leave at 3:55 and get to chicago at 6:30, landing at the home airport at 9:45, completing my eighth and final plane trip this journey) i exited the station the slow train to victoria, still trying to save money at every step.
The old dark houses of london and all its heavy clouds threatened to stifle my joy until the homeless entertainer entered and sang songs in english for "hostel" money. he should move south, move to barcelona, life is easier. Buskers welcome.
10 mins in wait at victoria station.
The evenin standard (or whatever its called) yelled LONDON ON FULL TERROR ALERT!! this as i was quickly walking away from victoria station, the alarms still ringing in my ears, sort of like that jazz hip hop club i visited the night before(the story u probabaly read before this)
So anyway london is being london, and victoria station is fine for now, but heathrow (the airport i fly out of) has 450 soldiers on guard so im thinking i will go early and harass them. or just make sure i get on my flight.
Hmm so is it worth it 5.90 for fish and chips? i mean seriously thats like 8-9 bucks right now, doesnt even include a drink. Maybe i can find a cheaper place.
Be home manana. one more post on a seperate topic above this....
My flight plans secured (manana i leave at 3:55 and get to chicago at 6:30, landing at the home airport at 9:45, completing my eighth and final plane trip this journey) i exited the station the slow train to victoria, still trying to save money at every step.
The old dark houses of london and all its heavy clouds threatened to stifle my joy until the homeless entertainer entered and sang songs in english for "hostel" money. he should move south, move to barcelona, life is easier. Buskers welcome.
10 mins in wait at victoria station.
The evenin standard (or whatever its called) yelled LONDON ON FULL TERROR ALERT!! this as i was quickly walking away from victoria station, the alarms still ringing in my ears, sort of like that jazz hip hop club i visited the night before(the story u probabaly read before this)
So anyway london is being london, and victoria station is fine for now, but heathrow (the airport i fly out of) has 450 soldiers on guard so im thinking i will go early and harass them. or just make sure i get on my flight.
Hmm so is it worth it 5.90 for fish and chips? i mean seriously thats like 8-9 bucks right now, doesnt even include a drink. Maybe i can find a cheaper place.
Be home manana. one more post on a seperate topic above this....
Monday, February 10, 2003
The story of the jazz night. (this will be long and boring, and may even seem like I'm complaining a bit, which i might be but i had a good time.)
So we were all sitting around the kitchen table, at the hostel new york. We being me, a new yorker, a man with a german passport, a japanese guy, a japanese girl, a guy from plymouth (england) a guy from winnipeg, (we bond over winter, spelling of that fair city?) a nice girl from ecuador (use to know how to spell that)and of course the jersey man, (thats old jersey, channel islands, talks with an english accent but its closer to france than england)
So anyway, were all sitting around making fun of texas and such, the governor (el bush) and just u know chillin, when all of a sudden jersey man tells us about this club he is going to that has improv jazz (what i would call a jam session) anyway hes going cuz he loves jazz and even plays a bit, and if the mic is open hes golden (not that i know what he plays). So he heads out bout 10ish, the rest of decide later to meet up with him but we dont leave till like 11:30, which about the normal time in barcelona to head out to the club or bar you are gonna go to. (because after siesta they have work, and after work they have drinks and tapas, and after that they have a meal maybe and then they go out clubbing, and then they get a falafel, or gyro, or kebab, or whathave you. So we walk there, they are all drinking what looks like a forty. German passport guy (hes not fond of his country) decides to piss on a national monument, which i dont think he realized had a anti war banner on it (he probably would have pissed on a different national monument had he noticed.) And then we get to the club, which looks a bit fancy for a group of poor drunk backpackers. But they let us in, tell us where to find a table, german passport guy orders their cheapest bottle of wine for the table, and we all settle down to take in some jazz. (right, sarcastic) So first off i notice the guy on sax is on his solo time, which isnt too bad, but after 5 mins i notice the others are getting irritated, and hes completely off track. I mention this to the table, and new york guy, who is a bit of an elitest says "you see jazz is all about (some word i cant remember start with a c)" and then goes on to say "you see its like the band plays a song, and then each member take their turn to go crazy and go way off into something else, but they always come back and play the song again." and i didnt say it out loud but i of course was thinking "thanks for the jazz lesson pal" only in a grimmer tone. So anyway im trying to let him have his way, hes done stuff like this all night, so i just keep following the music and the sax guy does not return to the song, he warps the band members into playing with him and then stops abruptly leaving them a bit lost, so they start a new song. New york guy is not paying attention, then as the new song begins the bass player starts off on a solo, and he say "see now its the drummers turn, no wait the bass, yeah the bass!" and i was like yup. Anyway the wine came, and so they all had a glass of cheap bad red wine. And then they complained about it, saying how for the same price they could have gotten 4 of the 1.20 euro bottles they have been drinking and how the cheap stuff is better. And that is all very amusing except im trying to listen to jazz, and they keep talking to me. So then some new musicians come in, cuz its like happy hour or something and everyone buys a round in the show, starting with this nice blond girl who sang some old like 30s song pretty well, except she couldnt communicate with the spanish musicians so she messed up a touch. Then this dark haired lady who was also very good but more like scat style interesting, and i was thinking how much ani difranco probably just makes shit up and it sounds real good like that. Then this tall guy with dreads sang that route 66 song, but it was horrid cuz all the greedy musicians wanted 15 min solos and wouldnt stick to anything. Meanwhile back at the table, they are all talking about how they should steal some bottles of wine, and its not a bad idea since no one is watching and such. Plus the found some tobasco sauce and were adding it to their drinks. Drunk fucks. Still very amusing. New york guy is telling a ecuadorian girl how its good to study gaudi because "he takes buildings as an art" all this to cover up the fact he didnt want to spend the 7 bucks to go into gaudi's cathedral. Then he goes on to say he spent 4 hours studying some picasso stuff in madrid, (maybe its just that artist competition stuff at this point) or maybe i secretly love the ecuadorian girl, (she is cute) and im jealous like mad. (its funny how im giving the impression i seriously dislike this kid when i dont at all, but i was a bit irritated for no reason at all last night)
So then they all leave, and i finish up listening to jazz with the japanese and the jersey man who were all at a different table contemplating the bad jazz musicians. (not bad, just had no connection, they werent tight enough for me)
So we listen some more and then leave and jersey man is going off how it was a great show (maybe it was before i got there) and how he would have loved to play, and all sorts of stuff, and then he sees the blond girl (he apparently doesnt like to talk to guys cuz if there is a girl around even close to his age he immediately talks to her instead (which i understand, but dont have the guts to do myself) and then the japanese lady (who is like 40 and 3 feet tall or so) follows him not really realizing that he probably wants to go sweep the lady off her feet with jazz discussions and such, and me and yoki walk down la rambla (the main street) discussing american food, budgeting, bad jazz, and the street cleaners. Then i went to the internet cafe.
New york guy left this morning for avignon. His alarm went off, he went back to sleep, around 11 he ran his ass off out th room.
Jersey man has gone around enthused on jazz, telling everyone what a great band they were, but really hes probably just in love.
The german passport guy and a kid from quebec who was hanging with us a little but didnt go, are probably out looking for a job.
Winnipeg is probably falling in love with Ecuador girl.
Me im bitching and moaning.
Hmm so that was the story of about 3 hours last hope ur having fun today MAY be the last time im on ill im home, maybe not though u never know.
So we were all sitting around the kitchen table, at the hostel new york. We being me, a new yorker, a man with a german passport, a japanese guy, a japanese girl, a guy from plymouth (england) a guy from winnipeg, (we bond over winter, spelling of that fair city?) a nice girl from ecuador (use to know how to spell that)and of course the jersey man, (thats old jersey, channel islands, talks with an english accent but its closer to france than england)
So anyway, were all sitting around making fun of texas and such, the governor (el bush) and just u know chillin, when all of a sudden jersey man tells us about this club he is going to that has improv jazz (what i would call a jam session) anyway hes going cuz he loves jazz and even plays a bit, and if the mic is open hes golden (not that i know what he plays). So he heads out bout 10ish, the rest of decide later to meet up with him but we dont leave till like 11:30, which about the normal time in barcelona to head out to the club or bar you are gonna go to. (because after siesta they have work, and after work they have drinks and tapas, and after that they have a meal maybe and then they go out clubbing, and then they get a falafel, or gyro, or kebab, or whathave you. So we walk there, they are all drinking what looks like a forty. German passport guy (hes not fond of his country) decides to piss on a national monument, which i dont think he realized had a anti war banner on it (he probably would have pissed on a different national monument had he noticed.) And then we get to the club, which looks a bit fancy for a group of poor drunk backpackers. But they let us in, tell us where to find a table, german passport guy orders their cheapest bottle of wine for the table, and we all settle down to take in some jazz. (right, sarcastic) So first off i notice the guy on sax is on his solo time, which isnt too bad, but after 5 mins i notice the others are getting irritated, and hes completely off track. I mention this to the table, and new york guy, who is a bit of an elitest says "you see jazz is all about (some word i cant remember start with a c)" and then goes on to say "you see its like the band plays a song, and then each member take their turn to go crazy and go way off into something else, but they always come back and play the song again." and i didnt say it out loud but i of course was thinking "thanks for the jazz lesson pal" only in a grimmer tone. So anyway im trying to let him have his way, hes done stuff like this all night, so i just keep following the music and the sax guy does not return to the song, he warps the band members into playing with him and then stops abruptly leaving them a bit lost, so they start a new song. New york guy is not paying attention, then as the new song begins the bass player starts off on a solo, and he say "see now its the drummers turn, no wait the bass, yeah the bass!" and i was like yup. Anyway the wine came, and so they all had a glass of cheap bad red wine. And then they complained about it, saying how for the same price they could have gotten 4 of the 1.20 euro bottles they have been drinking and how the cheap stuff is better. And that is all very amusing except im trying to listen to jazz, and they keep talking to me. So then some new musicians come in, cuz its like happy hour or something and everyone buys a round in the show, starting with this nice blond girl who sang some old like 30s song pretty well, except she couldnt communicate with the spanish musicians so she messed up a touch. Then this dark haired lady who was also very good but more like scat style interesting, and i was thinking how much ani difranco probably just makes shit up and it sounds real good like that. Then this tall guy with dreads sang that route 66 song, but it was horrid cuz all the greedy musicians wanted 15 min solos and wouldnt stick to anything. Meanwhile back at the table, they are all talking about how they should steal some bottles of wine, and its not a bad idea since no one is watching and such. Plus the found some tobasco sauce and were adding it to their drinks. Drunk fucks. Still very amusing. New york guy is telling a ecuadorian girl how its good to study gaudi because "he takes buildings as an art" all this to cover up the fact he didnt want to spend the 7 bucks to go into gaudi's cathedral. Then he goes on to say he spent 4 hours studying some picasso stuff in madrid, (maybe its just that artist competition stuff at this point) or maybe i secretly love the ecuadorian girl, (she is cute) and im jealous like mad. (its funny how im giving the impression i seriously dislike this kid when i dont at all, but i was a bit irritated for no reason at all last night)
So then they all leave, and i finish up listening to jazz with the japanese and the jersey man who were all at a different table contemplating the bad jazz musicians. (not bad, just had no connection, they werent tight enough for me)
So we listen some more and then leave and jersey man is going off how it was a great show (maybe it was before i got there) and how he would have loved to play, and all sorts of stuff, and then he sees the blond girl (he apparently doesnt like to talk to guys cuz if there is a girl around even close to his age he immediately talks to her instead (which i understand, but dont have the guts to do myself) and then the japanese lady (who is like 40 and 3 feet tall or so) follows him not really realizing that he probably wants to go sweep the lady off her feet with jazz discussions and such, and me and yoki walk down la rambla (the main street) discussing american food, budgeting, bad jazz, and the street cleaners. Then i went to the internet cafe.
New york guy left this morning for avignon. His alarm went off, he went back to sleep, around 11 he ran his ass off out th room.
Jersey man has gone around enthused on jazz, telling everyone what a great band they were, but really hes probably just in love.
The german passport guy and a kid from quebec who was hanging with us a little but didnt go, are probably out looking for a job.
Winnipeg is probably falling in love with Ecuador girl.
Me im bitching and moaning.
Hmm so that was the story of about 3 hours last hope ur having fun today MAY be the last time im on ill im home, maybe not though u never know.
Sunday, February 09, 2003
when i get home im gonna start another blog that will be just random shit i write when i feel like writing random shit, that way i dont have to completely mess up some of the more processed thoughts on this site, not that all of these or even many are processed but heres an idea
"New Acceptance
Oh how shadily you came to me, wild and impatient, eyes full of wonderment, styles in black and green and brown. And your hair was sort of red colored, like that bella street performer, the child who danced and danced and danced her days and wrinkles away. Her pigment sort of orange and green, probably too obscene for the old rich folks who's eyes did gleam and side with frustration. But you who came in feral disguise, do hide your claws, in these ribbed sides, tears I cried and stretched away to find conformity, and our calculations were only slightly off that day. So I walked on in unfamiliar streets backed by dealers, their sneaky impressions left in shadows. I could not be bothered with raging winds or sad songs sung after these dying days. I could but feel you on my shoulders and naught else then.
With hours passed I found your presense fully submerged and my being in nervousness, gradually lifted guards and found u easily consumed. So now i promote thee, shelter thee in sadness, and yet with gladness sing thy song. Who could know in childhood screaming all your being can be so gentlybound, I could say im not afraid, but that is lies. "
maybe i will tell u the address maybe not. Joel sent me a funny website thing with some nice valentines ideas. Thanks to him.
Peace and love TAff
"New Acceptance
Oh how shadily you came to me, wild and impatient, eyes full of wonderment, styles in black and green and brown. And your hair was sort of red colored, like that bella street performer, the child who danced and danced and danced her days and wrinkles away. Her pigment sort of orange and green, probably too obscene for the old rich folks who's eyes did gleam and side with frustration. But you who came in feral disguise, do hide your claws, in these ribbed sides, tears I cried and stretched away to find conformity, and our calculations were only slightly off that day. So I walked on in unfamiliar streets backed by dealers, their sneaky impressions left in shadows. I could not be bothered with raging winds or sad songs sung after these dying days. I could but feel you on my shoulders and naught else then.
With hours passed I found your presense fully submerged and my being in nervousness, gradually lifted guards and found u easily consumed. So now i promote thee, shelter thee in sadness, and yet with gladness sing thy song. Who could know in childhood screaming all your being can be so gentlybound, I could say im not afraid, but that is lies. "
maybe i will tell u the address maybe not. Joel sent me a funny website thing with some nice valentines ideas. Thanks to him.
Peace and love TAff
Nova told me about her night, and now i will tell you what ive been thinking...
So everyday i mean every single day, i will be walking down the street, just some random street, maybe its famous, maybe its some alley thet only cats go down, and i will hear some music. Today it started with the beatles, then some spanish rock, then later it just turned into sort of a punk sound thing but basically i hear music and i start thinking lyrics in my head, and then i start singing out loud. Now its not like i just flat out copy the song i hear ( well sometimes) more often i just start singing something on top of that or change it a little, and then i have a whole new song for about 20 mins, and i never write them down (well almost never)
Now it occasionally dawns on me that im not a musician and i shouldnt be constantly writing songs for some band i will be in in 10 years, cuz most likely that band will never be there. Why? i dont know it just wont. But sometimes i let that realization fall on the floor, and then i stomp on it and day dream for 3 hours about being a rock star, and start planning shows and concerts, and all sorts of stuff. And i think of the people at home who could help me make this happen and i usually think "na they wouldnt want me" but sometimes i take that realization and let it fall to the floor and then i stomp on it and day dream about how me and my friends will be great big rock stars changing the world. yeah so thats that. The really sad thing is that i cant even order donuts right, so how can i sing songs in another language (as my day dream songs often are, in europe at least)
Hmm i have really talented friends, (thats in a variety of areas) At least i consider them friends now. ( a short time ago, like a year or two, i wouldnt have called them friends in case they didnt feel the same, but it doesnt matter cuz i still care about them, so they are my friends, and i miss them, and their ways)
Nostalgia is a wonderful gift.
I have run out of stuff to say but like others sometimes you feel the need to express something, to be creative and such even if u have nothing to say so u keep blogging on, like eventually something will come, but it usually doesnt. I will have to read more books, and listen to more music and play more word games, and sadly eat more food to be creative and talented. One day though man one day... "well some people call you boy george, so you a supastar!" thats right....
So everyday i mean every single day, i will be walking down the street, just some random street, maybe its famous, maybe its some alley thet only cats go down, and i will hear some music. Today it started with the beatles, then some spanish rock, then later it just turned into sort of a punk sound thing but basically i hear music and i start thinking lyrics in my head, and then i start singing out loud. Now its not like i just flat out copy the song i hear ( well sometimes) more often i just start singing something on top of that or change it a little, and then i have a whole new song for about 20 mins, and i never write them down (well almost never)
Now it occasionally dawns on me that im not a musician and i shouldnt be constantly writing songs for some band i will be in in 10 years, cuz most likely that band will never be there. Why? i dont know it just wont. But sometimes i let that realization fall on the floor, and then i stomp on it and day dream for 3 hours about being a rock star, and start planning shows and concerts, and all sorts of stuff. And i think of the people at home who could help me make this happen and i usually think "na they wouldnt want me" but sometimes i take that realization and let it fall to the floor and then i stomp on it and day dream about how me and my friends will be great big rock stars changing the world. yeah so thats that. The really sad thing is that i cant even order donuts right, so how can i sing songs in another language (as my day dream songs often are, in europe at least)
Hmm i have really talented friends, (thats in a variety of areas) At least i consider them friends now. ( a short time ago, like a year or two, i wouldnt have called them friends in case they didnt feel the same, but it doesnt matter cuz i still care about them, so they are my friends, and i miss them, and their ways)
Nostalgia is a wonderful gift.
I have run out of stuff to say but like others sometimes you feel the need to express something, to be creative and such even if u have nothing to say so u keep blogging on, like eventually something will come, but it usually doesnt. I will have to read more books, and listen to more music and play more word games, and sadly eat more food to be creative and talented. One day though man one day... "well some people call you boy george, so you a supastar!" thats right....
Saturday, February 08, 2003
"hello everyone, i realize that some of you have no idea who i am but my name is james ha--ar and this is important, or i think it is. i am in barcelona at an internet cafe. 5 minutes ago i was in a hostel reading a book and i came across an article that absolutely made my jaw drop, i am going to write it out here, please take the time to read it and respond if you can, especially the 2nd paragraph.
Terror, Love, and the State of the World¨ by John Robbins.....I took it from the book Another World is Possible, the 2nd edition.
To advance human security and control terrorism, we must not only find the brutality of the September 11th attacks to be totally intolerable. We must also find intolerable that one billion people worldwide struggle to survive on $1 a day, that more than one billion people lack access to safe drinking water, and that 3 billion people have inadequete access to sanitation... If we are serious about stopping terrorism, then our goal must be to reduce the level of pollution, fear and poverty in the world.
THis goal is too costly, many say. BUt this is not true. The cost of our initial military response (james´note to 911 attacks) will easily top $100 billion (on top of our already enormous annual defense budget of $342 billion). What could we accomplish if we spent even a fraction of that much on programs to allieviate human suffering? In 1998, the United Nations Development Program estimated that it would cost an additional $9 billion (above current expenditures) to provide clean drinking water and sanitation for everyone on earth. It would cost an additional $12 billion, they said, to cover reproductive health services for all women worldwide. ANother $13 billion would be enough not only to give every person on Earth enough food to eat but also basic health care. AN additional $6 billion could provide basic education for all.
THese are large numbers, but combined they add up to $40 billion -- only one fifth as much as the $200 billion the U.S. government agreed in October 2001 to pay Lockheed to build new F-35 Joint Strike Fighter (JSF) Jets.
there ends the article.
So i have questions, these numbers could be wrong of course, but lets say its 100 billion instead of 40 billion. also assuming that the technoligies this money put in place (wells, purifiers, all kinds of infrastucture, technoligies and medical supplies) are one time deals, and would be subject to decay, they could break and need mmore to fix, and things like needles and condoms cant be reused. besides all that. besides upkeep besides the nightmare of a logistics job it would be, whats wrong with the idea that it can be done in our lifetimes? sure it would cost a ton, but so do fighter jets, and even if you believe that we need all the military stuff we have or even more military stuff, the UN said 40 bil, the people that are in charge of that kind of stuff, the UN, said that for 40 bilion dollars we could feed, give water and bathrooms too, give medical supplies to, give birth control to, and give a basic education (im assuming how to read and write in their own language and basic math ) TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. i am greedy too, i want the best for myself and my family and my friends too, i dont like taxes either, but think about it, we spent 200 billion for those planes, sure we might need em, but is 40-100 billion too much to ask for the entire world? if it is then why, please write back and tell me why, if it isnt, then whats the problem? if these numbers are wrong, or i am not accounting something, or if there are other factors someone please tell me, but imagine the possiblities. i would like to do a lot with my life as i am sure you all would, but if our country could do all that wouldnt that be just as good as anything you ever imagined? `please write back, please and tell me why i am right or wrong and what can be done. im not talking about a way to get congress to do this, im just talking about the idea and what you the reader think its worth. and send it out too if you want or think you can, thanks for your time, i really do appreciate it very much, peace and love -james ha--ar. "
The only thing i told him, about this was when i was in tanzania a bit ago (not this trip) we went to a school that had purified water (thats for drinking, bathing, doing dishes) for the entire school. The school was a private school, but it had about 300 girls plus staff, and the coolest thing was that the purified water came from a well that used solar energy to heat it. So it was all self contained within about a 8x8 foot space (thats a max amount) anyway. The parts and plumming for this system only cost a few hundred dollars(non wholesale price), and kept everyone healthy. small example, but if every village had the same system....
My big worry is over population which is a shit worry but, then u are talking about genetically engineered foods (to feed the people) and such. It would be a strange new world no? Why cant the US army take a month's worth of man power and technology and supplies to say, turn back a few feet of sahara desert every year. Why cant we replace every tree we cut down in the forests. Cuz were lazy. Cuz we never thought about actually trying it...
Terror, Love, and the State of the World¨ by John Robbins.....I took it from the book Another World is Possible, the 2nd edition.
To advance human security and control terrorism, we must not only find the brutality of the September 11th attacks to be totally intolerable. We must also find intolerable that one billion people worldwide struggle to survive on $1 a day, that more than one billion people lack access to safe drinking water, and that 3 billion people have inadequete access to sanitation... If we are serious about stopping terrorism, then our goal must be to reduce the level of pollution, fear and poverty in the world.
THis goal is too costly, many say. BUt this is not true. The cost of our initial military response (james´note to 911 attacks) will easily top $100 billion (on top of our already enormous annual defense budget of $342 billion). What could we accomplish if we spent even a fraction of that much on programs to allieviate human suffering? In 1998, the United Nations Development Program estimated that it would cost an additional $9 billion (above current expenditures) to provide clean drinking water and sanitation for everyone on earth. It would cost an additional $12 billion, they said, to cover reproductive health services for all women worldwide. ANother $13 billion would be enough not only to give every person on Earth enough food to eat but also basic health care. AN additional $6 billion could provide basic education for all.
THese are large numbers, but combined they add up to $40 billion -- only one fifth as much as the $200 billion the U.S. government agreed in October 2001 to pay Lockheed to build new F-35 Joint Strike Fighter (JSF) Jets.
there ends the article.
So i have questions, these numbers could be wrong of course, but lets say its 100 billion instead of 40 billion. also assuming that the technoligies this money put in place (wells, purifiers, all kinds of infrastucture, technoligies and medical supplies) are one time deals, and would be subject to decay, they could break and need mmore to fix, and things like needles and condoms cant be reused. besides all that. besides upkeep besides the nightmare of a logistics job it would be, whats wrong with the idea that it can be done in our lifetimes? sure it would cost a ton, but so do fighter jets, and even if you believe that we need all the military stuff we have or even more military stuff, the UN said 40 bil, the people that are in charge of that kind of stuff, the UN, said that for 40 bilion dollars we could feed, give water and bathrooms too, give medical supplies to, give birth control to, and give a basic education (im assuming how to read and write in their own language and basic math ) TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. i am greedy too, i want the best for myself and my family and my friends too, i dont like taxes either, but think about it, we spent 200 billion for those planes, sure we might need em, but is 40-100 billion too much to ask for the entire world? if it is then why, please write back and tell me why, if it isnt, then whats the problem? if these numbers are wrong, or i am not accounting something, or if there are other factors someone please tell me, but imagine the possiblities. i would like to do a lot with my life as i am sure you all would, but if our country could do all that wouldnt that be just as good as anything you ever imagined? `please write back, please and tell me why i am right or wrong and what can be done. im not talking about a way to get congress to do this, im just talking about the idea and what you the reader think its worth. and send it out too if you want or think you can, thanks for your time, i really do appreciate it very much, peace and love -james ha--ar. "
The only thing i told him, about this was when i was in tanzania a bit ago (not this trip) we went to a school that had purified water (thats for drinking, bathing, doing dishes) for the entire school. The school was a private school, but it had about 300 girls plus staff, and the coolest thing was that the purified water came from a well that used solar energy to heat it. So it was all self contained within about a 8x8 foot space (thats a max amount) anyway. The parts and plumming for this system only cost a few hundred dollars(non wholesale price), and kept everyone healthy. small example, but if every village had the same system....
My big worry is over population which is a shit worry but, then u are talking about genetically engineered foods (to feed the people) and such. It would be a strange new world no? Why cant the US army take a month's worth of man power and technology and supplies to say, turn back a few feet of sahara desert every year. Why cant we replace every tree we cut down in the forests. Cuz were lazy. Cuz we never thought about actually trying it...
Oh I remember what i was supposed to post about. (thats a promise to myself which carries either the most or the least weight)
So remember that heated argument I mentioned, the one i had with me older brother. So part of the reason he brought that up, (the part i understand the most) was just his sort of disappointment/fear of me not being able to realize my full potential and such because i let certain fears hold me back. (So now we will stop talking about him, but rather continue with that thought) So easy examples of this, say mu maker, (the band) mu maker has some extremely talented musicians, and they create and perform some incredible stuff, this most people can agree to. However several people have mentioned to me over the span of a few years, that they dont like mu maker, (and several other artists, like geoff "fish" and such) because they are holding themselves back, and such. Personally I understand this, because its really hard to see someone or something u care about remain unperfect or something. (i am screwing this all up) Its hard for me to see my friends making the same old mistakes. Its hard to see them never grow out of things. Its hard to see bands we like not create genious stuff that could inspire millions. Why are we making mistakes? Why arent we all gods? well cuz were human. We make mistakes, we allow ourselves to fail, we hold ourselves back. Why is this a problem? All your heroes have faults, your role models may fail you at times. Its ok though, its supposed to be that way, keep going, keep working for the better, "solve" one problem move on to the next and such.
I say "solve" (not the word but with quotations) because i dont really think we solve it at all, just put it off, or switch it to something else.
Before i left my dad (at the airport) was trying to teach me to stand up straight, act confident, be manly (i guess) over the past few months i started acting that way sometimes, I appeared more confident, i thought i was more confident. My brother told me it hurt him to see me holding myself back, i was in tears. My "confidence" failed me. It always will. Its fake, its a show. I can live on my own in europe for several months, but im afraid to eat onions, and millions of other things. I dont like to drink because i dont want to lose control of myself. "im not good on the phone" (a line i use often) because i fear the other person doesnt want to talk to me. Im insecure, i have issues, Im working on em. What else can ya ask?
Over the past few months, i have gotten to know people, people who had nothing in common, people who sometimes irritated me, people who no one else seemed to like, people who i loved, who i thought the world of, some of whom couldnt care less about me.
But in the end it all came down to people being people. You like some things about them, u hope the world for them, you wish they wouldnt hurt ya, or remind ya that both of you are human. You share ideas, dreams, material things, moments in time. You accept them for who they are, good and bad, hopefully both agreeing to work on it. nothing else..
One more post from my bro, which will be on top of this, probably.....
So remember that heated argument I mentioned, the one i had with me older brother. So part of the reason he brought that up, (the part i understand the most) was just his sort of disappointment/fear of me not being able to realize my full potential and such because i let certain fears hold me back. (So now we will stop talking about him, but rather continue with that thought) So easy examples of this, say mu maker, (the band) mu maker has some extremely talented musicians, and they create and perform some incredible stuff, this most people can agree to. However several people have mentioned to me over the span of a few years, that they dont like mu maker, (and several other artists, like geoff "fish" and such) because they are holding themselves back, and such. Personally I understand this, because its really hard to see someone or something u care about remain unperfect or something. (i am screwing this all up) Its hard for me to see my friends making the same old mistakes. Its hard to see them never grow out of things. Its hard to see bands we like not create genious stuff that could inspire millions. Why are we making mistakes? Why arent we all gods? well cuz were human. We make mistakes, we allow ourselves to fail, we hold ourselves back. Why is this a problem? All your heroes have faults, your role models may fail you at times. Its ok though, its supposed to be that way, keep going, keep working for the better, "solve" one problem move on to the next and such.
I say "solve" (not the word but with quotations) because i dont really think we solve it at all, just put it off, or switch it to something else.
Before i left my dad (at the airport) was trying to teach me to stand up straight, act confident, be manly (i guess) over the past few months i started acting that way sometimes, I appeared more confident, i thought i was more confident. My brother told me it hurt him to see me holding myself back, i was in tears. My "confidence" failed me. It always will. Its fake, its a show. I can live on my own in europe for several months, but im afraid to eat onions, and millions of other things. I dont like to drink because i dont want to lose control of myself. "im not good on the phone" (a line i use often) because i fear the other person doesnt want to talk to me. Im insecure, i have issues, Im working on em. What else can ya ask?
Over the past few months, i have gotten to know people, people who had nothing in common, people who sometimes irritated me, people who no one else seemed to like, people who i loved, who i thought the world of, some of whom couldnt care less about me.
But in the end it all came down to people being people. You like some things about them, u hope the world for them, you wish they wouldnt hurt ya, or remind ya that both of you are human. You share ideas, dreams, material things, moments in time. You accept them for who they are, good and bad, hopefully both agreeing to work on it. nothing else..
One more post from my bro, which will be on top of this, probably.....
hey i dont know if any of you wrote comments, so gavin has a blog that he never told me about and he rarely updates and its kinda vulgar but u can go there if u wish gavin's blog www.gavinsanus.blogspot.com
Yeah so we have pretty much done everything we set out to do in barcelona, and james goes to the airport tonight to sleep there and catch a flight in the morning so its farewell to him, and its his birthday, lucky him he gets to sleep in the airport for his b day.
Anyway we caught a sweet jazz band at this cool park gaudi designed, pictures later, and they are called exitmango, i have yet to see if they have a website, if they do i will link, or something.
Also I learned a beer song to the tune of doh ray me fa so la ti doh or whatever, and uh thats it i think. I will probably post something james sent out to all his pals, and u can e mail if u have comments about it.
UH yeah, well i shall see yall later.
Yeah so we have pretty much done everything we set out to do in barcelona, and james goes to the airport tonight to sleep there and catch a flight in the morning so its farewell to him, and its his birthday, lucky him he gets to sleep in the airport for his b day.
Anyway we caught a sweet jazz band at this cool park gaudi designed, pictures later, and they are called exitmango, i have yet to see if they have a website, if they do i will link, or something.
Also I learned a beer song to the tune of doh ray me fa so la ti doh or whatever, and uh thats it i think. I will probably post something james sent out to all his pals, and u can e mail if u have comments about it.
UH yeah, well i shall see yall later.
Thursday, February 06, 2003
I wrote some posts, they got erased, one chapter of a life. if it were up to me, we wouldnt bleed, just urinate on strange walls in small towns. You ask, dont dogs do that? My answer is yes, but werent you sometimes an annoying child biting too hard, barking too loud? So search search with your nose and nose alone, for a place to bleed.
frustration leads to comparing humans to dogs, apparently.
the other day i realized i havent had a grilled cheese sandwhich since i was like 12, maybe younger. We use to eat them and chicken noodle soup every saturday for lunch. This is childhood. Something tells me it just wont be the same.
frustration leads to comparing humans to dogs, apparently.
the other day i realized i havent had a grilled cheese sandwhich since i was like 12, maybe younger. We use to eat them and chicken noodle soup every saturday for lunch. This is childhood. Something tells me it just wont be the same.
Wednesday, February 05, 2003
and the third post, cuz the whale one is freaking me out, and the other isnt me, yes thats gavin not me, i dont have cool adventures, although the other day i almost j walked in front of a cop and almost got jacked up by an ambulance going about 60 out of a parking lot. And did get jacked for some chips and animal crackers by some hoodlums. (they seemed somewhat friendly, i mean they said nice to meet you while walking off with my food.) what else happened, today a homeless man tried to sell me hash for 15 mins, but um we ended up kinda chattin, and then he asked me for money and got mad i wouldnt give him any. Me and james had a heated discussion about my eating. He was mostly right but u know... what u gonna do, it doesnt bother me to be picky... Um im back in barcelona, we saw kristen C (has 2 twin brothers, is a year older than me) at random in toledo and that was just strange but really cool. She is taking some classes there for a semester, we kinda had tapas, and went to a market. Just very surprising to meet someone at home, while walking down the street in a small town. Makes u believe in fate and such, i was telling james about the backpacker taoist beliefs i dont know that he believes in it or anything but stuff is funny like that. Hmm what else, we checked out the sagrada familia, u will see pics later (not that i remember to bring the camera, but i can download some) its impressive, its a modernist cathedral by the way designed by gaudi, weird guy. manana, we go to the picasso museum. I cant think of anything else. I still dont know when im coming home, but im back at 1.60 for 24 hours so i may be on a lot. have fun take care of urselves, if u see the whale dont worry try typing in just http://everlastingtaffyman.blogspot.com not that u would be able to see this. Adios peace and love
Because i found these hilarious and they improved my mood a bunch i thought i would share, so my friend gavin writes
1\31\03
"You know they say that you cant park a tractor on your front lawn without first removing the fence , or running it down .
I still dont know about this as yet i have never wanted to park a tractor on my front lawn , but having said this i dont have a front lawn to want to park a tractor on , so this takes me back to were we started from does'nt it
But think of it would'nt a nice large lawn with green grass and a small statue of a naked dwarf on it be great , party's here and there , drinking , just sunning yourself on the warm grass dreaming about that naked drarf you saw in real life and how her curves were in a strange way erotic hmmmmmmm . All this and still no desire to park a fucken tractor in the middle of it all , the dwarf makes sense but the tractor no way .
Anyway all this aside the tractor is a great piece of machinery and has come a long way in modern years , now they are air conditioned , heated machines of beauty , yep i would like to own one some day , its not going to be parked on my lawn though and there is no fucken way im gona let anybody run my fence over to put it there , sorry but thats just the way its gonna be !!!!!!!! ......."
AND LATER IN THE WEEK
"Friday night , what a night , but saturday night , fucked up to say the least .
Once again i was out walking so my friend could "play chess " with a lady friend , you know what i mean , hint hint , anyway i stopped off for a meal and a beer , as is the case every time this happens , there i was having a nice meal and a beer when in walks a large angry looking man " dun dun dun daaaaaaaaa " ( music plays like in the movies ) he walks to the bar spurs janling and clinking AS he walks along ( sorry made that bit up ) anyway he takes a seat next to me at the bar and starts to have a very animated conversation in bolgarian to the other man next me , now i cant understand a word but i get the hint( i will call him "TAKO")
yeah thats good , anyway taco apears to have a large problem with man #2 he explains himself then turns to me and speaks , i return with my usual line " sorry english " ( this apears to be the best one to use because in most places this is as good as saying " sorry i am an ignorant piece of shit " they seam to like this a lot < to my surprise Tako didnt ,in fact i would go as far as to say that at that moment Tako began to seriously dislike me !! < How can this happen?? in all the places i have been i have only had about 65 percent of the people dislike me and i usualy i have to speak more for this to happen !! .
Crap , well here i was with Tako saying abusive things to me then as if to prove a point he had to then show me his rather large pistol !!!!!!! just in case i couldnt understand him , then to make his point more he asks in broken english "What do you do now "!! ( well this was what i understood anyway , he could have been trying to sell me his cow , but i wasnt going to ask him to repeat himself !! , well what could i do ?? i i promptly downed my beer ./................. Then ordered another and one for Tako , this and the big smile i gave him appeared to unsettle him a bit and he left me alone , maybe he figured i had a bigger gun than him !! , who knows.
Then later on i had a girl blaming me for the problem with the world !! , come on i know i can be a prick but i didnt cause it all !! , whats wrong with these people ???? , anyway if i had my big shining tractor with air conditioning in the cab none of this would happen !! , thats what i think , well lets see who i run into tonight , maybe Tako will come and buy me a beer , i mean fuck i at least thought we were going to buy rounds ..."
"I wrote this the other day ,but the pc died
What i was asking was a question i had been stumped by " How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood ??"
Now i was having a couple of problems with this , firstly and the most important was that i have no idea what i wood chuck does , what it looks like or anything , shit i could be sitting on one and not know this , so how was i to know how much wood it would chuck ??? , but then the next bit gets me " if it could chuck wood "" haaa now with a name like this i would be guessing that it could indead chuck wood , maybe it doesnt , maybe the fucken thing has no intention of chucking wood at all !! , maybe its a lazy animal ?? , I dont know !! strange !! , i think i will look this up on the internet , the doctors let me on for an hour a day , they are nice ........ "
1\31\03
"You know they say that you cant park a tractor on your front lawn without first removing the fence , or running it down .
I still dont know about this as yet i have never wanted to park a tractor on my front lawn , but having said this i dont have a front lawn to want to park a tractor on , so this takes me back to were we started from does'nt it
But think of it would'nt a nice large lawn with green grass and a small statue of a naked dwarf on it be great , party's here and there , drinking , just sunning yourself on the warm grass dreaming about that naked drarf you saw in real life and how her curves were in a strange way erotic hmmmmmmm . All this and still no desire to park a fucken tractor in the middle of it all , the dwarf makes sense but the tractor no way .
Anyway all this aside the tractor is a great piece of machinery and has come a long way in modern years , now they are air conditioned , heated machines of beauty , yep i would like to own one some day , its not going to be parked on my lawn though and there is no fucken way im gona let anybody run my fence over to put it there , sorry but thats just the way its gonna be !!!!!!!! ......."
AND LATER IN THE WEEK
"Friday night , what a night , but saturday night , fucked up to say the least .
Once again i was out walking so my friend could "play chess " with a lady friend , you know what i mean , hint hint , anyway i stopped off for a meal and a beer , as is the case every time this happens , there i was having a nice meal and a beer when in walks a large angry looking man " dun dun dun daaaaaaaaa " ( music plays like in the movies ) he walks to the bar spurs janling and clinking AS he walks along ( sorry made that bit up ) anyway he takes a seat next to me at the bar and starts to have a very animated conversation in bolgarian to the other man next me , now i cant understand a word but i get the hint( i will call him "TAKO")
yeah thats good , anyway taco apears to have a large problem with man #2 he explains himself then turns to me and speaks , i return with my usual line " sorry english " ( this apears to be the best one to use because in most places this is as good as saying " sorry i am an ignorant piece of shit " they seam to like this a lot < to my surprise Tako didnt ,in fact i would go as far as to say that at that moment Tako began to seriously dislike me !! < How can this happen?? in all the places i have been i have only had about 65 percent of the people dislike me and i usualy i have to speak more for this to happen !! .
Crap , well here i was with Tako saying abusive things to me then as if to prove a point he had to then show me his rather large pistol !!!!!!! just in case i couldnt understand him , then to make his point more he asks in broken english "What do you do now "!! ( well this was what i understood anyway , he could have been trying to sell me his cow , but i wasnt going to ask him to repeat himself !! , well what could i do ?? i i promptly downed my beer ./................. Then ordered another and one for Tako , this and the big smile i gave him appeared to unsettle him a bit and he left me alone , maybe he figured i had a bigger gun than him !! , who knows.
Then later on i had a girl blaming me for the problem with the world !! , come on i know i can be a prick but i didnt cause it all !! , whats wrong with these people ???? , anyway if i had my big shining tractor with air conditioning in the cab none of this would happen !! , thats what i think , well lets see who i run into tonight , maybe Tako will come and buy me a beer , i mean fuck i at least thought we were going to buy rounds ..."
"I wrote this the other day ,but the pc died
What i was asking was a question i had been stumped by " How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood ??"
Now i was having a couple of problems with this , firstly and the most important was that i have no idea what i wood chuck does , what it looks like or anything , shit i could be sitting on one and not know this , so how was i to know how much wood it would chuck ??? , but then the next bit gets me " if it could chuck wood "" haaa now with a name like this i would be guessing that it could indead chuck wood , maybe it doesnt , maybe the fucken thing has no intention of chucking wood at all !! , maybe its a lazy animal ?? , I dont know !! strange !! , i think i will look this up on the internet , the doctors let me on for an hour a day , they are nice ........ "
Sunday, February 02, 2003
sometimes u kids need to be nerds, i know ur just chillin, doin homework and such, is it not possible to leave ur name online so i can at least say hi to you while ur doing ur homework? no? ok sorry for asking, na. (sorry if this all sounds like im upset, im not, im good, a bit tired but good)
its like the 2nd so i should be gone for about 11 more days. Not that any of u are gonna see me right away.
So i have been chillin in madrid. big city full of all night night life. Clubs and concerts and bars till 6am, the kind of thing i would wish for minneapolis on those boring summer nights when we reluctantly just end up going to uptown express or perkins (not that those times arent my favorite times in the world, just sometimes we need a change, and such) So i havent really gotten out, first it was a 1 thirty curfew, (damnit i just realized i didnt spell check a letter i meant to, again) then it was just a chill night, then it was me and james being exhausted. James is my older brother by the way, good kid, hes reading the news, apparently there was a space shuttle accident thats mad fucked.
Also coleman didnt sign the no drill in alaska thing. Also fucked what has happened since i left why is everything down hill? ooh though i hear some peace rallies are getting mad cats, thats cool. they have some here too. I have nae been able to attend due to lack of knowledge of where and when and such.
what else can i say, so um We went to segovia today, saw that big aqueduct, i got pics, i got the digital so i will have something to show when i get back. Yesterday we went to the prado and another more modern art museum 1.5 were extremely impressive. U know how some modern art can be the coolest thing ever and others the stupidest? yeah so that was that.
The other day i went to the post office in madrid. Its like the fanciest building in town, a former palace, turned communication center.
Im totally forgetting how to spell. I have typed things like senter and other such mistakes without even thinking.
I guess i have just been chilling a lot so i dont have much to tell ya, mi brother brought me mad food which is nice. Hes trying to teach me not to worry about such things as 30 cent maps. I try to tell him multiply it times 30 or 40 he still doesnt think its a big deal. I hope i find some balance when i get back. I dont want to worry about money anymore, but wasting it aint no good either, it could be going to people who need it you know?
somebody is tossing their cookies in the other room, its kinda rough to hear. Although its possible they are just watcing like a movie of someone throwing up but turn the sound down man!
I cant think of much to say i will update ya when i get to barcelona again approx 2-3 days. Keep in touch cats, i be back and looking for ya before u know it. peace and love Taff
its like the 2nd so i should be gone for about 11 more days. Not that any of u are gonna see me right away.
So i have been chillin in madrid. big city full of all night night life. Clubs and concerts and bars till 6am, the kind of thing i would wish for minneapolis on those boring summer nights when we reluctantly just end up going to uptown express or perkins (not that those times arent my favorite times in the world, just sometimes we need a change, and such) So i havent really gotten out, first it was a 1 thirty curfew, (damnit i just realized i didnt spell check a letter i meant to, again) then it was just a chill night, then it was me and james being exhausted. James is my older brother by the way, good kid, hes reading the news, apparently there was a space shuttle accident thats mad fucked.
Also coleman didnt sign the no drill in alaska thing. Also fucked what has happened since i left why is everything down hill? ooh though i hear some peace rallies are getting mad cats, thats cool. they have some here too. I have nae been able to attend due to lack of knowledge of where and when and such.
what else can i say, so um We went to segovia today, saw that big aqueduct, i got pics, i got the digital so i will have something to show when i get back. Yesterday we went to the prado and another more modern art museum 1.5 were extremely impressive. U know how some modern art can be the coolest thing ever and others the stupidest? yeah so that was that.
The other day i went to the post office in madrid. Its like the fanciest building in town, a former palace, turned communication center.
Im totally forgetting how to spell. I have typed things like senter and other such mistakes without even thinking.
I guess i have just been chilling a lot so i dont have much to tell ya, mi brother brought me mad food which is nice. Hes trying to teach me not to worry about such things as 30 cent maps. I try to tell him multiply it times 30 or 40 he still doesnt think its a big deal. I hope i find some balance when i get back. I dont want to worry about money anymore, but wasting it aint no good either, it could be going to people who need it you know?
somebody is tossing their cookies in the other room, its kinda rough to hear. Although its possible they are just watcing like a movie of someone throwing up but turn the sound down man!
I cant think of much to say i will update ya when i get to barcelona again approx 2-3 days. Keep in touch cats, i be back and looking for ya before u know it. peace and love Taff