how do you stop love?

how do you stop love

how how do you stop love?

how do you how how do you how how do you stop love?
stop stop stop stop how do you stop? stop, stop? stop?
how do you stop love love love love love
how do you stop love?

love

well aol and my comments section dont seem to be working today so post time. post tile with screwed up keyboard again.

so yesterday was a first for 3 things, the first time i have seen illy in a few months, the first time i have seen a cochroach in europe, and the first time i have heard/seen a distrubance ahere the cops had to be called.

so starting with that last one i was in marseille it was approx 2-3 in the morning and i coudnt get back to sleep, a crowd of very noisy people were yelling and screaming down the street, i listened trying to figure out what language the fight lasted maybe 30 mins then i started leaning out the window to watch, the cops showed up ans broke it off? i watched as 4 scantily clad women possibly prostitutes and/or drag queens walked my way while several large men walked the other.

also there was a cockroach, heh what u gonna do, i knew the hotel wasnt exactly up to code, thats why i was staying there.
it was a small one not like the ones we had in hong kong, i just went back to bed.

so illy, i got to see her for a few hours, i completely forgot how cute she is and totally was amazed the whole time i was with her, and we basically just chatted like nothin was different, though i really didnt have much to say, and if she is reading thanks again, hope to see ya when i get back, sorry if i was a bit boring.

its just weird to talk like if someone asks "whats new" what am i supposed to respond exactly. i just dont know, everything is new and absolutely nothing is new, its the same thing, and i cant really gossip or chat about anything from home, nothing familliar so what do i say heh nothin

its all good. i really did like marseille but since both hostels were closed i was doing the budget hotel thing and that is still pretty expensive. so i had to leave, and as i was leaving the hotel manager said with excitement all the americans who are in the army are leaving today to go fuck up iraq oh joy, marseille is a port city and the navy spent their holiday there. I thought there were a lot of young male mericans with short hair. oh well.

also i was looking at a map of the EU this shit is crazy within 10 yrs all of europe will be united say goodbye to america the world leader.

hmm more later i guess avignon is tiny but cheaper so i may stay a week.

so thanks to illy again, also for bringing the winter gear, i hope home isnt too dull for ya, we can go on road trips when i get back no? oooh i found the damn thing.
oh well beautiful people beautiful day beautiful cities,

oh thats something i wanted to tell everyone again just so u know, i am having a good time on this trip, i am meeting people and going places and doing cool shit this is not braggin just want u to know that the reason i may sound depressed and sad online, is only cuz i usually come online on the bad days so as to reconnect with friends and fam u know, so sorry for writing like badly. ha i write horribly. college will be great just profs giving me F's

pete it was great talking to you, but made me wanna come home, aimee u should send me your address via e mail so i can send u a post card, and illy too. and anyne else who wants one, i can use my x mas money.
peace and love cats taff

in a few mins im gonna go get a baguette or a crepe or something, cuz im starving. i didnt eat any meals yesterday, just snacked on granola bars and twix and such, while checking out the louve. That place is huge, took me 5 hours and i didnt even see everything. hmm check out the slp police report its funny this week. um what else, i been hanging out with a bunch of cats from all over, i tell them i smoke crack but they dont believe me. if u didnt check the comments on the last u should cuz there are apology type things. but um e mails no working, and im off to marseille manana.
Paris is great but i gotta go...

i really cant think of any stories to tell right now, i been thinking about all the people i have meet on the trip and im getting worried i will never talk to em again. i need to sit down with my address book and talk to some cats. um pete i have not called yet, i dont know when i will or can, but i shall try and it will probably be an afternoon call. like round 3 or 4 ur time.

hmmm in need of female energy.

enjoy urselves and someone else, take care in case i don see ya again uh happy holidays, remember to be thankful for the shit u been given. if the smoke crowds ur vision stop smoking.

thats another thing btw, i wont have affairs with exotic foreign women cuz they all smoke yo.

peace and love Taff

On another note, I am in paris.
I like it though its expensive, i dont know what to say about it yet so i will probably only make a few slight comments in this post, they will come from the top of my head not the bottom and will probably sound like raw unedited babble because they are.

First off thanks to Caroline for taking me in and being so very kind, and wonderful and generally just cool
(not the one in the previous post, though i'd like to thank her too) they both happen to be french.

Second And this follows the caroline being cool thing, so far i still havent run into a rude parisian (spelling?) they have all been nice so far and im actuall just waiting for the meanness to start but its all good really i wouldnt hold it against them. This city is amazing, i ty not to compare cities but this one is exellent, the weather could be slightly better, but thats not paris's fault nope it is not. They have an easy internet cafe so i can write long posts and e mails and such. Though everything else is mad expensive, like london. This old lady just walked in, in a clown costume now thats cool.

The sites are extrordinary (damn that no spell check)
I had a tender moment at notre dame not so much like moved by the place but i try to say a prayer in every holy place i visit, whether it be a mosque temple street corner hostel room, church whatever and todays prayer was a bit heavy. so i cried a bit oh well

i still smell, ungodly. I feel sorry for Illanit cuz if we do actually meet she will need some nose plugs.

hmm a note on the catholic church. Just cuz i dont believe the same things doesnt mean i dont respect people for their beliefs, and just cuz i dont like the whole art thing in religion doesnt mean i dont enjoy the art. So not bad mouthing the catholic church today, its like badmouthing anything else of course its shite at times, but it probably does a lot of good as well. Like the u s a
just cuz it sucks doesnt mean its fucked forever. We can change... give us time...


oh well its raining today so i think im gonna go on a bus ride, i will not see varsaille (sp?) hmm i've run out of shit to say (like u had any to begin with)

i find myself talking to me more often as you and not I or me or myself oh u do do you? oh yes I do or u do or something, shut up me.

Peace and love yall i will report back another day,

its possible i already typed this out oh here, but i accidently brought it with me so i pronised myself i would do it again, and if the typing is really bad, its the key boards fault cuz french keyboards are differnet, french keyboards u think to yourself, when did mike get to france? i will get to that in a second. first a glimpse into the mike of 1st semester senior year, (also sorry to the people i mention here)

"So apparently my lack of sleep makes me uncreative, unhealthy, unhappy, and generally bitter, mean and defensive.

or maybe im just sick fo you.

I feel the need ti vomit when thinking things like this, like it's physically unacceptable to think meanly, maybe i am sick, maybe i need time to myself, or a new group to bring me joy, new thrill, new wonder, new things to know, more knowledge to consume and thoughts to presume are the truth.

I been staring at this girl names Megan lately, well in the morning I am, in the afternoon I check out caroline--- both friendly Caroline a little more so than anyone in awhile.

She physically and emotionally throws herself at people like a net to catch something new.

I have avoided her nets or rather become a wall she slams into and bounces off
I proclaim Im to large too flat too stuck in my position to be netted and its true. Maybe a half week ago I told someone, (a certain someone) that i had stopped looking at other girls, and at the time it was true, do i need to say more?

Is it just me or do people get plainer everyday? faded jeans the same plain t shirts(and im included by the way) where is the youth rebellion cause for fighting the small things we bicker over and the grand things we will never change but nay contemplate about for a time,
the world is changing (geology)
if i spend a week
in silent isolation
quiet contemplation
secret segregation
will the equation change?
Am i a variable the answer or the method?

If i stop thinking of myself as a noun (like its possible) will the world or myself be any different.

If i stopped one day
If i died one day
If I lived one day"

thats that no more plamming on typing it

dont see glumness in it its glorified shite

whats new u ask? or maybe u didnt ask, but i wouldnt know would i? i answer u "no i wouldnt"

but anyway not much, i have been chilling around istanbul waiting for my plane tomorrow. Drawing, writing, talking, walking, checking out fishermen and fine young beautiful people. Watching cats play comp games as i wait for an open computer. Eating mini tukish delights.

I have been offered advice on france, cartooning and starting businesses in turkey/around the world. Um talked with cats about the differences, the similarities the good the bad and the monkey. Played myself a little jig on the imaginary fiddle. I got offered cocaine with my rolled up 5 million lira bill last night. Um i did a portrait of this guy at the hostel, but it was really bad but he likes me now anyway.

Um what else nothing really been sitting on my ass. This morning i had two breakfasts gluttonous human. found out canadians say "fuckin alberta" like we would say "fuckin texas" u know what im saying. I talked to this guy from chicago/brooklyn and a frenchman about the world both of them spoke with their hands and im sure i fit right in.

last night i talked to 5 men about kurdish people vs turkish people, it was an international crowd, 1 from each of these places, france malayasia(spelling?) panama, kosovo, me and a kurdish man who lives in istanbul. So that was interesting.

oh well its the 16th so just under 2 months left......
today is weird cuz i have no reason to be depressed, the future looks fun and fantastic, the sun is even shining very brightly but i am slowly slipping.

comments dont seem to be working so i will have to write an actual post, and im not writing anything real cuz i know its just gonna get erased

Jen and jess and elizabeth (all of whom should write me and say whats up) if u are still interested in the art vs sex thing u should check out belly dancing cuz seriously its a hard one. I was with me mom so i was like not feeling the erotic part (well mostly not) and it was still mad fascinating

for another vs coffee (warmth and caffeine) vs the possible effects of drinking the water.

really what do u do? its fucking freezing so u drink the damn coffee or the tea or whatever (the tea here is really good) but then u get sick saddddd

also if u dont enjoy the occasionaly squat and possibility of wiping with ur hand u should not come to turkey, or africa for that matter or many parts of asia, or s america i imagine. (never been there)

tambien the world spins to the left if u are looking north. also shouldnt winters in the southern hemisphere be colder than in the northern, because we are further away during our summer (their winter) yeah.

Yesterday was one of those beautiful days where u can see a blue sky and nice puffy clouds above the snow covered mountains, but we couldnt cuz we were in an undergroud city. Then later we couldnt cuz we were in this big gourge or whatever. then it became dark but first the mountains faded into the cloud and the clouds into the mountains and eveything was white. Also we got in a car accident as our van slipped on some ice. That was the simplified story of yesterday. was it good for u? no, well sorry. Hope u are having fun, sometimes u gotta jump on the mechanical bull backwards and when it knocks u out of the padded area dont be surprised.... it wasnt me enjoy urselves and someone else.
Peace and love yo no other reason to live at all Taff

ok it just happened again. i have had an impossible time on the internet in turkey. comments and posts get erased. websýtes dont come up and e maýls freeze get delayed or sent back or just erased so basically hours worth of time and money wasted. i been trying to get a hold of illy to tell her im not gonna be in france týll the 18th aimee if she is still around can u tell her please. errrrrrgggghhh i just spent an hour typing up stories for this damn thing and none of em around anymore. so basically it will be a week at least till i get anything of quality on here. or am able to write a decent e mail to anyone. sorry

i am very very irritated right now. i will try to stay in contact but not today its just not working 2 different cafes and nothing to show. i leave tonight for capadoccia (sp?) be back in a few days to istanbul then on the 17 th i leave spend a day in prague then the 18th paris (no more germany on the list) and hopefully meet up with illy if she is still in france. if not i spend a few weeks in france and then move south. my mom left today. it is snowing and i cannot communicate anything very upset for nothing. peace and love be better next time i talk to ya

so my mom ýs here and she has the dýgýtal camera (ý suppose thats one thýng ý kýnda wýsh ý had, lýke a dýgýtal camera or výdeo camera, but ýt would suck to have to take care of ýt) anyway so that means ý got some pýcs from my trýp but uh ý wont be able to put them up týll ý get back, so u wýll all have already heard the storýes and seen my haýr and shýt lýke that. But maybe ýts cool, um at the breakfast anytýme web page on the lýnks sýde (thýs guy who ýs a student ýn england rýght now) u can get some pýctures of turkey some of the shýt ý have seen here anyway and hes a really good wrýter (or at least ý lýke hým) so u can here about the places or at least hýs ýmpressýons. cuz ým lazy and he has a dýgýtal. I wýll say though that the cýstern thýng that he talks about ýs way ýmpressýve, especýally when they have an orchestra down there (wednesdays) whých we got to seeÝhear and well ýt was probably one of the most ýmpressýve beautýful thýng ý have ever heard. Turkýsh classýcal, not lýke tradýtýonal turkýsh musýc but classýcal musýc played ýn turkýsh style wýth theýr ýnstruments and ýt was more then heavenly.

um other than that, ý went ýn the blue mosque, aya sofýa, the palace, another couple places. We checked out a cemetary and a carpet maker. Lots of stuff yesterday was a pretty busy day.

I have na been sleepýng well ýn turkey. Some would say ýts the ýncredýbly loud techno turkýsh musýc playýng týll 2 but ý actually enjoy goýng to sleep to that.

ýts raýnýng today. we are near taksým square (check out hýs pýctures they are from last month ý thýnk, look ýn the archýves)

um yesh well ý wýll have to tell u more stuff another day. we are goýng to ephesus tomorrow and another place the next day.
so ý probably wont be able to use the ýnternet, maybe though.

um yeah ý am not ýn a proper wrýtýng mood, ý havena been thýs whole trýp. Not lýke a creatýve wrýtýng mood. I found thýs old journal ý was gonna keep last year durýng school, ýt had one entry ý wýll wrýte ýt ýn soon, cuz for some reason ý fýnd ýt ýnterestýng and therefor feel the need to bore u wýth ýt.

blah blah blah
ýts homeroom day ýts a fun day....

what would u do wýthout mr a? and becker besýdes be able to have the mandala work wýth the art staff? that may have come out meanly but ýts not ý understand why they dont, ý even agree to a good extent. however ýts true ýs ýt not?

ý wonder what my mom ýs wrýtýng about me rýght now at her computer?? hmmm ýnterestýng.

Third time is a charm.... (the last 2 got erased)

If u sent me any e mails in the past few days please send them over again, because i accidently erased a few. PLEASE SEND THEM AGAIN

and now a word on bussing with the Bulgarian Mafia.

So 3 cartons of tax free (in between boarders) camels is 18 Euro which is just under 20 which i believe is the limit for tax free goods or something, so 3 cartons at 18 times approx 18-40 passengers each time ah mad cash....

and in return they "buy" you soup at a local restaurant, ah yes now that is business. The funny old Italian woman next to me stole her 3 cartons but doesn't smoke, i guess coming from Malta though she is used to dealing with Mafia types. (stereotyping Sicily, sadddd)

and of course like any good Mafia associate i had to have a name, unfortunately mine was "Minnesota"

oh well that was the bus ride last night, 100 usd visa to get into turkey they were upset i had to pay in euros.



The funny old Italian woman's joke.

three men who stuttered went to the church for help. The priest told them if they sold bibles to people they would be healed.
So they all set out splitting up to go sell. At the end of the day, the 1st one came back, and the priest asked "how many did u sell?" he stuttered out "oonnnllllyyyyy onnneeee"
the second came back and the priest asked again "how many did you sell?"
the second one answered "IIIIII SSSSSSOOOOOLLLLDDDD TWWWOOOOO."
the third came back, and the priest again asked him the same question he asked the others.
"III SSSOOOOOLLLDDDD THHHEEEMMM AALLLLL." the priest amazed asked him "how did you do that?"

he answered "i TTTTOOOOLLLDDD tHHeeemmm ifffffff theeeeyyyy didddddddddddddnnnntttttt buuyyyyyyy onnneeeeeee iiiiiiii woooooouuuullllldddddddd keeeeeeeeeeeppppppp rreeeeaddddddddinnnnngggggggg iiiiitttttt ttotto theeemmmm."


ok so its not that funny but she was like 60.

so if u haven't figured it out, i am in Istanbul. Thats in turkey. This morning i woke up at a bus station and several friendly people helped me find my way to the hostel. I mean i would still be out looking if not for them, it was like hours away. But now i am in the old part of town like with the blue mosque and everything. In fact i could probably see it if i walked out the door. Um i meet my mom tomorrow at a hotel a few blocks away, that will be interesting. So believe them when they say "they ill try to sell you carpets."
"i have no need of a carpet" i tell them nicely.
"you would buy the carpet for 10euro no?" "no i would not buy the carpet for 1 euro"

but maybe i do like green eggs and ham u never know...


the grand bazaar or whatever was interesting a little bit crowded and too big but i saw all the clothes spices and gold i ever wanted to.

hmm what else can i tell ya, i walked along the shore and looked at asia. Its not so far from here u know, in fact its probably like 4 blocks from my hostel, and makes up (i think) the majority of this city.

the water is dark blue and light blue, and a little green. I saw a fisherman catch a big fish off the shore. His friends helped him bring it in and cheered him on.

i have very few mins left on my phone card so i will either have to buy anew one to call home or just not call ever. That means once again if u want something from me e mail me and i will send ya something. Like ur address would be helpful. yes most helpful. now i sound like one of these guys offering me drugged up drinks.

at around 4:30 or 5:30 (it was still dark i couldna see my watch) the praying began. Interesting sound. 5times a day but i haven't heard any more so maybe they only do the wake up one out loud.

i guess that is it for now.

The vision is pure now let it be you

peace and love

argghhh i just lost another whole post, so i am in sofia bulgaria. I am leaving in about 2.5 hours even though i really like it here. um its too cold though. lets see, aimee if u see illy tell her to send me her plans for france again, and if not i will just write her in a week. Uh what else. Budapest is cool. Met some cats there and in vienna and in italy and all over. I feel im failing this web journal thing, but i have stories written down i can write in later when im at home and have lots of free time. um today a rather attractive woman tried to pickpocket me. That was fun. she had the wrong pocket and was a bit too obvious. although there is a scary sort of vibe about eastern europe its still pretty damn cool. I mean if i had cats with me i would stay over here longer then western but its kind harsh alone. no one to be lost and confused with. no one to talk to on the 27 hour train trip from budapest to sofia. Which stopped in bucharest romania, so if u look at a map its a completely illogical route. Which is kind of an eastern europe thing. Um oh lots of shit and no way to say it. No time to say it in. These chicas i met in budapest were pretty sweet, one of them reminded me of nova like a lot. The other one (phoenix) told me about this commune in holland which sounds sooo cool but i can not go, probably not anyway. Maybe another time. Maybe its time to start a commune back home, kristen u up for it? after school maybe?

Hmm so my phone card is running out cuz i talked to my mom and dad a bit too much lately, but on thanksgiving my dad got my grampa on the phone and after explaining how we have been writing e mails and such to communicate my grampa said the funniest thing he goes "well this is my first time on the internet." (we were on a phone) my dad then explained it to him some more but it was great at the time. When i get back im gonna swap europe stories with my gramps, cuz i have never talked to him about the war days.

um i keep planning on coming back to places in the future, like a trip to north eastern europe and such but at the same time im not sure if im gonna wanna travel much after this, maybe in a couple years i will get the craving again. for now its like a satisfied craving. in 2 more months it willl be an exausted one and i will come home. full of theories and stories u guys wont want to hear, it will be great. I will start every sentence with "well back when i was in ______ ."

oh so fun. A little about eastern europe, u know Dave chappel (spelling?) when hes talking about getting taken to the ghetto, and not having time to prepare like mentally? thats what eastern europe is. You go from major city to shite in about 2 seconds and culture shocks follows and u feel like shit for being paranoid in your limo, so u stand at the slightly cracked window and throw money or advice to the baby selling drugs on the corner. You know?

actually though the drugs will be sleeping pills mixed into a bottle of water that u think is safe and u will fall asleep on the train and wake up without money or bags, its quite fun...

hmm but i like eastern europe alot in fact i have had more fun and i tend to meet cooler cats out here rather then in west (well so far) but its a bit hard when ur on ur own, like i said that 27 hour train ride kinda gives ur mind time to think some crazy shit, like about u being a spy working for the west infiltrating the east, or um being a city person going into the wild wild west or something. Never mind him hes just a bit loco.

oh well i guess thats it, my only problem with sofia is how all the maps use like english letters but all the street signs use the bulgarian letters so basically u never know where u are. yeah thats all i can think of the people have been very friendly and helpful (despite the rumors) and um i like seeing dogsd and cats who look healthy roving the streets i can see why Dominic would want to live here. Its a pretty sweet little town, (not actually little or a town) good night life too i hear, it seemed bumping all around town last night. oh yeah and there is music everywhere which is kickass for me since i dont have a cd player or anything but i must go tlling ya peace and love some actual stories later i have na even told about luigi (guitarist in venice) yet check ya later