and because no one reads this anyway, and i use it to archive my memories... of which i have little to no realistic memory... (meaning i dont remember things the way they happened)
grades for the 2006 fall season
A- in asia
A in systems
A in war
A in soc methods
B- in speech (still trying to figure out how this happened)
oh and a big fat F in anth methods even though it should be an A because templeman hasnt put in the grades yet...
its funny though because i couldnt even remember what classes I had taken when i was writing this shit down like 2 minutes ago.
on other notes...
Scanner Darkly is pretty awesome... as is when the levees broke
um i have like 25 things on my list of things to do and dont want to leave my room...
Saturday, December 30, 2006
On the death penalty
With the death of Saddam, I saw people cheer, I saw dancing on TV, I saw people take shots.
Now to some extent I can understand people celebrating at the death of a dictator after living under his repressive regime, but it strikes me as odd that they would do so even now while living under the fear of not knowing whats next for their country, or even what is currently going on.
As for the Americans, What did Saddam ever do to you?
Can/should one be happy at the death of someone who causes destruction?
Is that ok morally?
As far as I am concerned Saddam is not really responsible for American deaths in Iraq, but do other people think he should be?
If the war were really about removing a dictator, is he responsible for all fighting after his removal?
I dont know... I still see Saddam as a puppet, sure a little crazed, but a regional dictator held in by countries that oppose him seems better to me than chaos that inspires fear in its neighbors.
When Lebanon sank in to chaos Isral, Syria and the United States all invaded to secure it and ended up promoting different factions that lead to further choas... I see parallels with iraq right now.
With the death of Saddam, I saw people cheer, I saw dancing on TV, I saw people take shots.
Now to some extent I can understand people celebrating at the death of a dictator after living under his repressive regime, but it strikes me as odd that they would do so even now while living under the fear of not knowing whats next for their country, or even what is currently going on.
As for the Americans, What did Saddam ever do to you?
Can/should one be happy at the death of someone who causes destruction?
Is that ok morally?
As far as I am concerned Saddam is not really responsible for American deaths in Iraq, but do other people think he should be?
If the war were really about removing a dictator, is he responsible for all fighting after his removal?
I dont know... I still see Saddam as a puppet, sure a little crazed, but a regional dictator held in by countries that oppose him seems better to me than chaos that inspires fear in its neighbors.
When Lebanon sank in to chaos Isral, Syria and the United States all invaded to secure it and ended up promoting different factions that lead to further choas... I see parallels with iraq right now.
Friday, December 29, 2006
As important as 9/11 and Iraq are, if you really want to be upset and frustrated with the way things are going in the US watch Spike lees "When the Levees Broke"
Despite being a fairly informed person, I really had no idea. When they say things like 80% of a city under water, some how it doesnt hit you what that means, what it means in terms of people suffering...
Kanye was so right to say the things he said -if nothing else because it sent a message, it said something...
anyone who did anything to try to make things better.
Despite being a fairly informed person, I really had no idea. When they say things like 80% of a city under water, some how it doesnt hit you what that means, what it means in terms of people suffering...
Kanye was so right to say the things he said -if nothing else because it sent a message, it said something...
anyone who did anything to try to make things better.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
I wrote me a song this morning
Its probably no good, and thats ok, because I think i wrote it to get me to think positively about some things...
like for instance, one really must love that annoying ass sound of a garbage can being brought to the curb in the snow and ice... it makes the normal shitty garbage can noise, plus drags along the ice and snow and sounds like someone grinding your eardrums under their shoe or something... maybe that isnt true... but one really must love that sound no? you dont get to hear it too often no more... its like someone mowing the lawn while you are sleeping... everyone does shit at whatever time it is best to piss you off... and really since you have no reason to be irritated and they are only going about their business you gotta kind a laugh, take it in, feel its goodness, and then say "damn, it may not be my favorite noise, but certainly is something." and something is good no?
my camera still isnt working.
saw rock and melissa today, rachel and becky were not available, alicia did not pick up.
I also saw zach and hollie, at a really noisy bar... and zachs girlfriend suddenly became friendly with us when she realized we were making fun of zachs college friends, and i had to tell her that normally i am only a self righteous prick on things like morals and politics and what not, but today i was making an exception because these st thomas kids are silly.
but then me and hols ran off before saying goodbye.
I realized the beauty of 311's transistor cd again for the 100 millionth time... it is just so positive, and so spiritual and cosmic and karmic, and even the songs that are a little creepy or songs like "what the fuck was i thinking?" have a point to them... a good point.
hopin to see aimee and gabs again and illy soon. i realized that within a few days i will be pretty much on my own for shit to do... everyone will be gone. its depressing and i cant imagine how illy or steve or lex have done it, but they are strong people, and if i can figure out even half of that i will do aight and get some shit done.
I think i am off, to watch a horrible movie...
i forgot to mention yesterday/this morning the differences between my gramps church and my normal stuff, but maybe it doesnt matter, its all incense clouds and fancy capes and rituals and shit. but his church also has a number of african people which is awesome.
Its probably no good, and thats ok, because I think i wrote it to get me to think positively about some things...
like for instance, one really must love that annoying ass sound of a garbage can being brought to the curb in the snow and ice... it makes the normal shitty garbage can noise, plus drags along the ice and snow and sounds like someone grinding your eardrums under their shoe or something... maybe that isnt true... but one really must love that sound no? you dont get to hear it too often no more... its like someone mowing the lawn while you are sleeping... everyone does shit at whatever time it is best to piss you off... and really since you have no reason to be irritated and they are only going about their business you gotta kind a laugh, take it in, feel its goodness, and then say "damn, it may not be my favorite noise, but certainly is something." and something is good no?
my camera still isnt working.
saw rock and melissa today, rachel and becky were not available, alicia did not pick up.
I also saw zach and hollie, at a really noisy bar... and zachs girlfriend suddenly became friendly with us when she realized we were making fun of zachs college friends, and i had to tell her that normally i am only a self righteous prick on things like morals and politics and what not, but today i was making an exception because these st thomas kids are silly.
but then me and hols ran off before saying goodbye.
I realized the beauty of 311's transistor cd again for the 100 millionth time... it is just so positive, and so spiritual and cosmic and karmic, and even the songs that are a little creepy or songs like "what the fuck was i thinking?" have a point to them... a good point.
hopin to see aimee and gabs again and illy soon. i realized that within a few days i will be pretty much on my own for shit to do... everyone will be gone. its depressing and i cant imagine how illy or steve or lex have done it, but they are strong people, and if i can figure out even half of that i will do aight and get some shit done.
I think i am off, to watch a horrible movie...
i forgot to mention yesterday/this morning the differences between my gramps church and my normal stuff, but maybe it doesnt matter, its all incense clouds and fancy capes and rituals and shit. but his church also has a number of african people which is awesome.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
I went to bed 6 hours ago, feeling hurt, angry, frustrated, depresses and self righteous. After an hour or so of struggling with my dreams they kicked my ass in to realizing thats not who or what I want to be. Some things arent about us, despite what we may feel. Im not sure if this dizzyness/fever is an effect of whatever demons I been fighting or the food I ate today or the impending flu or whatever. But I'm not gonna spend my life angry at people i care about for being human.
I talked briefly to my mom's brother today on the phone (LA). He has been in a severe state of drug dependency for probably 3 decades. He can't walk from what I know, sometimes he cant talk. About 10 or so years ago he got married and had a daughter, and every time I hear about him, I hope his wife and child will leave him. I cant imagine the pain he is causing them as everyday he chooses death and each day he lives through it.
I asked him how he'd been, and he said not too good. A few days ago my mom told me he had said that he probably wouldnt be around for christmas. But when I talked to him I couldnt say today is the day Chris, its not over yet, start over, because although I wanted to, I didnt have faith in him anymore. Why? I gave the phone to my mom after two minutes of conversation and wanted to cry. I told my little brother, how he sounded the same. Steve said he was probably on something.
My grampa has been fighting with one of his sons for about 15 years. They havent talked. It has kept them from important events in eachother's lives, and perhaps more, from the relationship between my grampa and his grandchildren. I dont know what changed, but my grampa is going to my cousins wedding in a few days... flying across the state of south dakota to see one of my more shady cousins, a shotgun wedding because his fiance is pregnant. A year ago he missed the happy celebration of another one of my cousins. I dont know what has changed, but there is a little hope there.
My grama died on Christmas Eve many years ago, but most of us had other things to do then sit around with my grampa yesterday. Obligations to ourselves and others, and my grampa mourns his lost wife while we celebrate.
I dont know why, but I often cry when I pray or take communion now. I guess the thought of being worth something means a lot. but most often I tell God I would rather he stand by the people I care about and shine some light in their lives than forgive me. or at least that in forgiveness I hope that maybe I can help direct that shining light back on them.
My dad and I talked for approximatly 4 hours each way... and of course I am a talker. We got home and steve was there and I said to him "well you get to listen to one of your talkative kids babble for 4 hours and now another one" Colleen assured me he enjoys it.
When you talk to my dad you have to practically yell sometimes, it means a lot of water to sooth the throat.
We went hiking on the way, both of us aching from inner wounds and I imagined that my dad was more proud of me than he had been before, because I could not only keep up -but lead on the trail. And I wondered why it mattered so much.
My mom and grant got steve a big poster of himself. It was really expensive, and counted as his "big gift" as the family caretaker and worrier i spent the rest of the night wondering if the seemingly annual frustration between Steve and my Mom was about to arise. They just dont seem to see eye to eye on things like presents. But steve assured everyone he loved the poster.
We watched North Country which is sort of a hard movie to watch, and then I read something that was a hard thing to read. but even before that -none of my presents were calling out to me. none of it seemed exciting, and my camera isnt working so i couldnt see the pictures from the last few days. I think i have become picture dependent. a lot of people hate them, and wish i would stop, but i think its sort of amazing each and every time.
My dad said something about me not being very material when we were shopping. I told him i spend more money than most people, but i think its true that once i get those things i save them and dont need more... I dont go looking to spend money very often. i dont get a thrill out of most shopping things... but i do buy a lot when i get on a roll....but hell i am certainly materialistic, right now im considering buying a video camera and a cell phone -i need new glasses, i need an oil change. i got 7 new cds a couple days ago (although a few are used).
Steve got me and james the same shirt, the same shirt he was wearing today. we looked silly... funny thing is-he was looking for the ugliest shirt he could find, and its totally my style. sort of kurt cobain-ish.
5 of my cousins are pregnant, i never really thought my grandparents would be around for my grandchildren, the hope seems a little far. but my gramps will be a great grandparent 6 times over by this time next year.
I learned my cousin works for Mary Kay, an organization Lex helped me understand a little bit more. But although Lex told me about the inspirational stuff they try to do, she didnt tell me about their very Christian stuff... or maybe its just my cousin. She was the validictorian and graduated college in three years... then started selling Mary Kay (something you dont need a degree for) so we were all a little skeptical, but apparently she is the third biggest director in the country now, lives in a huge house, has enough to send 5 kids to college or something... she gave a speech at their national convention and it sounded like a sermon. Its funny that I am all about living with God in daily life, but not mentioning the specifics of the religion. I imagined all the people in the crowd who were not religious, and how terrible that must have been.
If I had known I would have stopped to see her in Omaha with Lex, when we went to Texas, but I wasnt aware of these things, and I think the fundamentalist christian stuff comes off a bit strong. Still wouldnt have hurt to make the connection.
For the speech they did my cousins makeup and hair, and she looked really silly, but what was great as that within moments you sort of saw through it, she really still has some shine to her, a mother and business woman, a inspirational christian speaker, the makeup didnt do her justice but vibrance was still there.
I always tell Ashley Ericson my cousin looks like her, and the resemblance is still there.
I didnt get Julie anything, I guess I didnt realize i was supposed to, but then I told James that
I would buy them dinner somewhere, Actually I honestly didnt know who was coming to dinner, or what the schedule was. I didnt even get Grant his present on time, thinking that Alcohol was available in SD, not aware of the date or day of the week... they drop us from school with very few days to get things done.
Man i am listening to depressing music, I should go back to sleep, its 6:30 AM... i was feeling sick in bed, and feeling anxious to correct implications of earlier thoughts and statements.
Henry (a counselor i saw a year ago) told me i do far too many things that hurt me for the sake of others, for possibilities of connection, for healing of relationships... doesnt he know its worse to sit around feeling angry and frustrated when you know you are capable of making it better?
I gladly take on a few nights of crying for the possibility of a few years of openness.
I talked briefly to my mom's brother today on the phone (LA). He has been in a severe state of drug dependency for probably 3 decades. He can't walk from what I know, sometimes he cant talk. About 10 or so years ago he got married and had a daughter, and every time I hear about him, I hope his wife and child will leave him. I cant imagine the pain he is causing them as everyday he chooses death and each day he lives through it.
I asked him how he'd been, and he said not too good. A few days ago my mom told me he had said that he probably wouldnt be around for christmas. But when I talked to him I couldnt say today is the day Chris, its not over yet, start over, because although I wanted to, I didnt have faith in him anymore. Why? I gave the phone to my mom after two minutes of conversation and wanted to cry. I told my little brother, how he sounded the same. Steve said he was probably on something.
My grampa has been fighting with one of his sons for about 15 years. They havent talked. It has kept them from important events in eachother's lives, and perhaps more, from the relationship between my grampa and his grandchildren. I dont know what changed, but my grampa is going to my cousins wedding in a few days... flying across the state of south dakota to see one of my more shady cousins, a shotgun wedding because his fiance is pregnant. A year ago he missed the happy celebration of another one of my cousins. I dont know what has changed, but there is a little hope there.
My grama died on Christmas Eve many years ago, but most of us had other things to do then sit around with my grampa yesterday. Obligations to ourselves and others, and my grampa mourns his lost wife while we celebrate.
I dont know why, but I often cry when I pray or take communion now. I guess the thought of being worth something means a lot. but most often I tell God I would rather he stand by the people I care about and shine some light in their lives than forgive me. or at least that in forgiveness I hope that maybe I can help direct that shining light back on them.
My dad and I talked for approximatly 4 hours each way... and of course I am a talker. We got home and steve was there and I said to him "well you get to listen to one of your talkative kids babble for 4 hours and now another one" Colleen assured me he enjoys it.
When you talk to my dad you have to practically yell sometimes, it means a lot of water to sooth the throat.
We went hiking on the way, both of us aching from inner wounds and I imagined that my dad was more proud of me than he had been before, because I could not only keep up -but lead on the trail. And I wondered why it mattered so much.
My mom and grant got steve a big poster of himself. It was really expensive, and counted as his "big gift" as the family caretaker and worrier i spent the rest of the night wondering if the seemingly annual frustration between Steve and my Mom was about to arise. They just dont seem to see eye to eye on things like presents. But steve assured everyone he loved the poster.
We watched North Country which is sort of a hard movie to watch, and then I read something that was a hard thing to read. but even before that -none of my presents were calling out to me. none of it seemed exciting, and my camera isnt working so i couldnt see the pictures from the last few days. I think i have become picture dependent. a lot of people hate them, and wish i would stop, but i think its sort of amazing each and every time.
My dad said something about me not being very material when we were shopping. I told him i spend more money than most people, but i think its true that once i get those things i save them and dont need more... I dont go looking to spend money very often. i dont get a thrill out of most shopping things... but i do buy a lot when i get on a roll....but hell i am certainly materialistic, right now im considering buying a video camera and a cell phone -i need new glasses, i need an oil change. i got 7 new cds a couple days ago (although a few are used).
Steve got me and james the same shirt, the same shirt he was wearing today. we looked silly... funny thing is-he was looking for the ugliest shirt he could find, and its totally my style. sort of kurt cobain-ish.
5 of my cousins are pregnant, i never really thought my grandparents would be around for my grandchildren, the hope seems a little far. but my gramps will be a great grandparent 6 times over by this time next year.
I learned my cousin works for Mary Kay, an organization Lex helped me understand a little bit more. But although Lex told me about the inspirational stuff they try to do, she didnt tell me about their very Christian stuff... or maybe its just my cousin. She was the validictorian and graduated college in three years... then started selling Mary Kay (something you dont need a degree for) so we were all a little skeptical, but apparently she is the third biggest director in the country now, lives in a huge house, has enough to send 5 kids to college or something... she gave a speech at their national convention and it sounded like a sermon. Its funny that I am all about living with God in daily life, but not mentioning the specifics of the religion. I imagined all the people in the crowd who were not religious, and how terrible that must have been.
If I had known I would have stopped to see her in Omaha with Lex, when we went to Texas, but I wasnt aware of these things, and I think the fundamentalist christian stuff comes off a bit strong. Still wouldnt have hurt to make the connection.
For the speech they did my cousins makeup and hair, and she looked really silly, but what was great as that within moments you sort of saw through it, she really still has some shine to her, a mother and business woman, a inspirational christian speaker, the makeup didnt do her justice but vibrance was still there.
I always tell Ashley Ericson my cousin looks like her, and the resemblance is still there.
I didnt get Julie anything, I guess I didnt realize i was supposed to, but then I told James that
I would buy them dinner somewhere, Actually I honestly didnt know who was coming to dinner, or what the schedule was. I didnt even get Grant his present on time, thinking that Alcohol was available in SD, not aware of the date or day of the week... they drop us from school with very few days to get things done.
Man i am listening to depressing music, I should go back to sleep, its 6:30 AM... i was feeling sick in bed, and feeling anxious to correct implications of earlier thoughts and statements.
Henry (a counselor i saw a year ago) told me i do far too many things that hurt me for the sake of others, for possibilities of connection, for healing of relationships... doesnt he know its worse to sit around feeling angry and frustrated when you know you are capable of making it better?
I gladly take on a few nights of crying for the possibility of a few years of openness.
Monday, December 25, 2006
Friday, December 22, 2006
What the deals yo?
So Im sitting at home, waiting on some calls, plan is -to see most of my homies tonight -then leave manana for sioux falls (my dad wants to stop and go hiking on the way-weirdo)
anyway. then be back for xmas -hang with the 3Bers 26th 27-28 homies then do homework and study for the math test along with seeing everyone who aint just around for a week
life is fairly simple sounding for me.
_________________________________________________________
um wondering how lex is all the time- since the last time i talked to her. But im not sure if i should call.
________________________________________________________
my little brother found the best cd ever, its called fade to bluegrass and consists of metallica songs done bluegrass style (better then you are thinking)
_________________________________________________________
So far i have 3 x mas gifts for people... which means a lot of shopping in sioux falls.
unfortunately i dont have time to anything there, what with fam and what not.
_______________________________________________________
its been too long since i had a little color in this blog, hope you enjoyed it.
peace and happy holidays.
So Im sitting at home, waiting on some calls, plan is -to see most of my homies tonight -then leave manana for sioux falls (my dad wants to stop and go hiking on the way-weirdo)
anyway. then be back for xmas -hang with the 3Bers 26th 27-28 homies then do homework and study for the math test along with seeing everyone who aint just around for a week
life is fairly simple sounding for me.
_________________________________________________________
um wondering how lex is all the time- since the last time i talked to her. But im not sure if i should call.
________________________________________________________
my little brother found the best cd ever, its called fade to bluegrass and consists of metallica songs done bluegrass style (better then you are thinking)
_________________________________________________________
So far i have 3 x mas gifts for people... which means a lot of shopping in sioux falls.
unfortunately i dont have time to anything there, what with fam and what not.
_______________________________________________________
its been too long since i had a little color in this blog, hope you enjoyed it.
peace and happy holidays.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
a note from my brother james:
Friends,
I wanted to let you know about my new job.
Today from 6-9 was my first shift. I got there a bit early to get my uniform on, and met the boss and the new owner. I'm working at the new Sheraton Hotel in Minneapolis.
My job?
I am Randy the Raccoon! I got a big suit, a big fake head, and fake hands and feet (only 4 fingers on the hands). I am not allowed to talk or take my head off in front of people. Mostly I shake hands, give hugs, and take pictures. The highlight of today was when the German guy and I danced for a second.
Ok, so it was a one time gig (although they did ask if they could call me next time, which of course I said yes to), but it did happen and it was amazing.
Here is what I learned:
1. THose suits are ridiculously hot, my entire body was sweaty and gross by the end.
2. Drunk girls who are missing teeth LOVE Randy the Raccoon
3. I don't know about when, but long term, college is probly worth doing.
4. White male bosses should not make fun of the accents and english speaking ability of Latina room cleaners.
Much love,
J
Friends,
I wanted to let you know about my new job.
Today from 6-9 was my first shift. I got there a bit early to get my uniform on, and met the boss and the new owner. I'm working at the new Sheraton Hotel in Minneapolis.
My job?
I am Randy the Raccoon! I got a big suit, a big fake head, and fake hands and feet (only 4 fingers on the hands). I am not allowed to talk or take my head off in front of people. Mostly I shake hands, give hugs, and take pictures. The highlight of today was when the German guy and I danced for a second.
Ok, so it was a one time gig (although they did ask if they could call me next time, which of course I said yes to), but it did happen and it was amazing.
Here is what I learned:
1. THose suits are ridiculously hot, my entire body was sweaty and gross by the end.
2. Drunk girls who are missing teeth LOVE Randy the Raccoon
3. I don't know about when, but long term, college is probly worth doing.
4. White male bosses should not make fun of the accents and english speaking ability of Latina room cleaners.
Much love,
J
Friday, December 15, 2006
Monday, December 11, 2006
well 3 papers and 2 tests to go!! 1 week and a half.
Ever since I read about queue for asia class... I have really wanted to do it... maybe next year. I dont know why but i have been really wanting to cut my hair, just to fuck with it... it must be time to do something... may have to braid it.
I really need to sign up for next months test. where to take it?
hmmm i spent the whole weekend doing things that were not homework related and now am screwing my group (halfway through a paper i was supposed to send them by this morning).
Ever since I read about queue for asia class... I have really wanted to do it... maybe next year. I dont know why but i have been really wanting to cut my hair, just to fuck with it... it must be time to do something... may have to braid it.
I really need to sign up for next months test. where to take it?
hmmm i spent the whole weekend doing things that were not homework related and now am screwing my group (halfway through a paper i was supposed to send them by this morning).
Thursday, December 07, 2006
the first time I heard Regina Spektor was in germany i think... i saw a video and thought, "yeah, shes cool, but I wont buy any of her stuff probably..."
the other day I was writing a paper and someone on KUMM played this song and I stopped typing to listen to it, then waited patiently through the next two songs to hear who it was that had written such a beautiful song....
Some of her videos are really creative too. I been having a hard time not watching them for the past three days
Watched 2 hours (the shortened version from the real 19 hour) Chinese opera The Peony Pavillion last night... it was good and interesting and beautiful at times, but really long and a bit annoying when they talk...
oh asia class, what will i do when im done with you?
probably not read anything about asian history for several years...
On other notes... im working on a project it includes taking pictures around morris.
that is all i can say right now
Also my war class presentation is tomorrow 30 minutes of video games and non stop entertainment (until it stops at 30 minutes)
Im really worried we wont have enough material.... back up= letting audience play...
TONIGHT IS THE DISCUSSION ON WOMEN topic INTERNATIONAL ISSUES speaking ME and my arch nemesis who went to India with me. What will we talk about? who knows... I was thinking of talking about the veil... because of the thing in the netherlands...
the most liberal country in the world wants to make wearing veils that cover everything but the eyes illegal...
but we will probably talk about lots of things... come its at 6:00 I think in allum room ... but i will check on that...
im so cool, im so cool, im so cool...
(if you dont get that you didnt check out the link....)
anyway. probably up all night making a power point. adding videos and pictures and screen shots and comments and clips and clothes pins, crips and closed things.
the other day I was writing a paper and someone on KUMM played this song and I stopped typing to listen to it, then waited patiently through the next two songs to hear who it was that had written such a beautiful song....
Some of her videos are really creative too. I been having a hard time not watching them for the past three days
Watched 2 hours (the shortened version from the real 19 hour) Chinese opera The Peony Pavillion last night... it was good and interesting and beautiful at times, but really long and a bit annoying when they talk...
oh asia class, what will i do when im done with you?
probably not read anything about asian history for several years...
On other notes... im working on a project it includes taking pictures around morris.
that is all i can say right now
Also my war class presentation is tomorrow 30 minutes of video games and non stop entertainment (until it stops at 30 minutes)
Im really worried we wont have enough material.... back up= letting audience play...
TONIGHT IS THE DISCUSSION ON WOMEN topic INTERNATIONAL ISSUES speaking ME and my arch nemesis who went to India with me. What will we talk about? who knows... I was thinking of talking about the veil... because of the thing in the netherlands...
the most liberal country in the world wants to make wearing veils that cover everything but the eyes illegal...
but we will probably talk about lots of things... come its at 6:00 I think in allum room ... but i will check on that...
im so cool, im so cool, im so cool...
(if you dont get that you didnt check out the link....)
anyway. probably up all night making a power point. adding videos and pictures and screen shots and comments and clips and clothes pins, crips and closed things.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Monday, December 04, 2006
Some bright morning when this life is over
I'll fly away
To that home on God's celestial shore
I'll fly away
I'll fly away oh glory
I'll fly away (in the morning)
When I die hallelujah by and by
I'll fly away
When the shadows of this life have gone
I'll fly away
Like a bird from these prison walls I'll fly
I'll fly away
Oh how glad and happy when we meet
I'll fly away
No more cold iron shackles on my feet
I'll fly away
Just a few more weary days and then
I'll fly away
To a land where joys will never end
I'll fly away
I'll fly away
To that home on God's celestial shore
I'll fly away
I'll fly away oh glory
I'll fly away (in the morning)
When I die hallelujah by and by
I'll fly away
When the shadows of this life have gone
I'll fly away
Like a bird from these prison walls I'll fly
I'll fly away
Oh how glad and happy when we meet
I'll fly away
No more cold iron shackles on my feet
I'll fly away
Just a few more weary days and then
I'll fly away
To a land where joys will never end
I'll fly away
Sunday, December 03, 2006
dave says "dont burn the day away" but i find myself sitting more and more full of self pity, and facebook stalking... if thats not bad enough thats just where the obsession starts...
I alternate between worrying about homework and wondering about Lex for like 12 hours at a time.
i dont know what I want... Im gonna stop talking about it after this.
I need to make some changes, I dont know how necessarily but it needs to happen because i cant keep doing this and not getting anything done... at least melissa helpfully suggested that some of us play scrabble tonight, cuz that gets me doing something... maybe i need to be on campus more or go to the library... its sucks everything involves computers...
it must be the red car syndrome...
to finish the song...
"Is this not enough?
This blessed sip of life, is it not enough?
Staring down at the ground
Oh, then complain and pray for more from above,
You greedy little pig,
Stop, just watch your world trickle away
Oh, it's your problem now
It'll all be dead and gone in a few short years
....
Love, love, love, what more is there?
'Cause we need the light of love in here
Don't beat your head, and dry your eyes, let the love in there
The bad times, well that's okay,
Let's just look for love in here, yeah"
~pig
I alternate between worrying about homework and wondering about Lex for like 12 hours at a time.
i dont know what I want... Im gonna stop talking about it after this.
I need to make some changes, I dont know how necessarily but it needs to happen because i cant keep doing this and not getting anything done... at least melissa helpfully suggested that some of us play scrabble tonight, cuz that gets me doing something... maybe i need to be on campus more or go to the library... its sucks everything involves computers...
it must be the red car syndrome...
to finish the song...
"Is this not enough?
This blessed sip of life, is it not enough?
Staring down at the ground
Oh, then complain and pray for more from above,
You greedy little pig,
Stop, just watch your world trickle away
Oh, it's your problem now
It'll all be dead and gone in a few short years
....
Love, love, love, what more is there?
'Cause we need the light of love in here
Don't beat your head, and dry your eyes, let the love in there
The bad times, well that's okay,
Let's just look for love in here, yeah"
~pig
Saturday, December 02, 2006
well im alone lonely and tipsy so heres some videos i made over the summer
athens riots 1
athens riots2
athens riots 1
athens riots2
Im starting to lose it, I dont know why, maybe its that thing about denying cravings, they just get worse... maybe its the pictures, the lack of any new stimulus, im starting to lose it though. I mean how many post have i written alone this week. and its not keeping me from getting things done, I already did my asia homework for monday, and had a meeting where we set out the outline for our presentation on fri today... I plan on hitting up some of that soc methods stuff or the other papers im working on currently... but cant shake the thoughts....
If it were anyone else right now I would say, there is a reason you are feeling so strongly, life, or god, or the energy of the world is trying to tell you something... but i assume im just feeling lonely.
If it were anyone else right now I would say, there is a reason you are feeling so strongly, life, or god, or the energy of the world is trying to tell you something... but i assume im just feeling lonely.
Friday, December 01, 2006
Dreams are fun
Here’s a break up song by John Frusciante "far away"
"I cant disguise the things I do,
and things I say have a way of hurting you
I'm over there
These dreams are all I have left
I've nothing to spare
I cant pretend to be who I'm not
and there are things you need from me
I haven’t got
no way but to end
pick up the pieces of our lives
and maybe love again
there's only one way for things to be
between you and me"
Anyway I’m not so sure what he means by "there’s only one way"
In my dreams I hang out with all three of my ex girlfriends despite the fact that two of them wont talk to me. It seems natural and normal and exciting as it had been, no wonder I love dreaming so much. I wish I could have offered more to them, and in my dreams I can. Meeting up for rendezvous’ discussed or promised years ago, like a homecoming, like a return to your mamma’s belly.
I always felt a strong connection to some of slug’s lyrics on Lucy Ford, “to Ann Landers, to Ani Difranco to orphan Annie, I love all women, but most of em just cant stand me.”
I remember thinking at 4 years old that I would never get to connect with all of them, and it hurt. it was the preschool where I met my best friend, and several others, two of them were beautiful girls, inspiring, exciting. My mom thinks I should marry one of them (probably still to this day) I always thought she was Pete’s girl by geographical location (they were neighbors).
More and more I feel disconnected from the possibility of meeting all those women, more and more likely to feel like friends, to make a weak acquaintance, more detached from those who I have loved as a friend or more. More incline to believe that despite my ability to seemingly randomly meet the most beautiful women in the world, and for them to like me some how, I will screw it up eventually, or they or I will awaken to the reality that things aren’t working… but not in my dreams… no, in my good dreams things are always the way its supposed to be.
Here’s a break up song by John Frusciante "far away"
"I cant disguise the things I do,
and things I say have a way of hurting you
I'm over there
These dreams are all I have left
I've nothing to spare
I cant pretend to be who I'm not
and there are things you need from me
I haven’t got
no way but to end
pick up the pieces of our lives
and maybe love again
there's only one way for things to be
between you and me"
Anyway I’m not so sure what he means by "there’s only one way"
In my dreams I hang out with all three of my ex girlfriends despite the fact that two of them wont talk to me. It seems natural and normal and exciting as it had been, no wonder I love dreaming so much. I wish I could have offered more to them, and in my dreams I can. Meeting up for rendezvous’ discussed or promised years ago, like a homecoming, like a return to your mamma’s belly.
I always felt a strong connection to some of slug’s lyrics on Lucy Ford, “to Ann Landers, to Ani Difranco to orphan Annie, I love all women, but most of em just cant stand me.”
I remember thinking at 4 years old that I would never get to connect with all of them, and it hurt. it was the preschool where I met my best friend, and several others, two of them were beautiful girls, inspiring, exciting. My mom thinks I should marry one of them (probably still to this day) I always thought she was Pete’s girl by geographical location (they were neighbors).
More and more I feel disconnected from the possibility of meeting all those women, more and more likely to feel like friends, to make a weak acquaintance, more detached from those who I have loved as a friend or more. More incline to believe that despite my ability to seemingly randomly meet the most beautiful women in the world, and for them to like me some how, I will screw it up eventually, or they or I will awaken to the reality that things aren’t working… but not in my dreams… no, in my good dreams things are always the way its supposed to be.