my comp game today (im excited but i dont like have time to play)


as we were leaving for sledding petes mom yelled "be careful!" I thought that was hilarious.


wild game on tonight and it doesnt appeal


I think were doing morgan's hotel party for new years.


Atmosphere has a video seemingly in heavy rotation on mtv2 it was weird like 3 times in 2 hours. Its kinda interesting. Apparently this last cd has come out on epitaph with the rhymesayers label so maybe warp tour ?

im still really sick. I was thinkign ti was a good thing i got sick during the time i was gone, cuz i wasnt gonna get to see anyone anyway but now that im back and feel just as sick its not very fun to miss great adventures with friends.
I feel real bad for Aimee cuz she was all excited to get people to go to the big wu show and now it doesnt seem like anyone is goin. (im way too sick) I did want to go though. Just wouldnt be smart.

I think im gonna go to the doc manana.

I was supposed to shave after first semester and i still think i will before second but i really havent had the energy. its been the same way with certain presents i was planning on making. I had at least three ideas for cool art things to make for becky but i cant get myself to even lift a marker right now.

Last night i was feeling better (after sleeping all day, and taking a bunch of medicine) we went out to find food (couldnt find any) went to the last samurai at edina. Good movie, a little long, lots of cool history stuff. It struck me as having a very similar plot to dances with wolves (a movie im quite fond of)

Im seriously thinking about taking some more meds, cuz this shit hasnt kicked in yet.

I havent had much of an apetite. I think i will go eat some soup now, but like half way through i just cant keep eating.

I have been having a lot of stomach problems too. maybe i have an ulcer. I think my hypochondriac-ness might actually be correct with some of this shit.

i sort of miss my friends, even though its only been a few days. I also have this weird longing for that freedom and comfort of school. Im amazed how quickly i got set up there. My room is still bare practically but sometimes i feel connected to the cats. (sometimes)

Me and becky were discussing how there isnt really a whole lot of deep conversation goin on. I sort of hope we dont get a tv again (the last one moved out) but the dvds and cd playing capability is nice.

sorry this sint very interesting, hearing me bitch and moan and such, maybein the future i shall have something to say.

so im sick as a monkey i get to go to South dakota for a few days oh boy am i excited (emphasis on sarcasm)
steve is very upset with his coach. Just like zach and several others, steve is getting screwed.
sorry to my peoples last night i just wasnt in the mood for the bullshit.

aight now total we got an A, a B+, a C+ and a C which isnt horrible i dont think. I mean im not like a crazy grades kid or nothing.

anyone got gift ideas?

freestyles from the shower

and i'll tell all of yall,

i hate at least 49% of the population once in awhile,
cuz their particular style
conflicts with my faith files
comes up short to what i'd like to be expectin
and lures those in, who ought to be rejectin
this includes me
and primarily
i wonder why i lust
when i got love in my cup
because my cup is big
and i can tell you this much
it still dont keep my toothbrush from touching the other toothbrush
and im a germ freak
i cant tell you how i despise
the feeling i get
when that view is in my eyes
view of such things as abusive dependency
worry for others but worry more that its me
cuz im strong in the long run
running from new responsibility
shying away from what i know is my ability
and with that i dont mean im avoiding new heights
rather that avoiding keeps me from being shite

dont ask dont tell policy

Sorry i screwed up again (i was supposed to post everyday, it didnt happen)

anyway lets see if i have the patience to do this right.



So Im paranoid again, like driving dont know why, seeing things again.
but this is not related:

I was driving to petes hoping i wouldnt somehow become the third in a awful series of events that have happened to a friend of mine, and My ego got big for a sec and started thinking that people would be all horribly upset if i died and shit, (like it would change the world or something) and then i started thinking about it and smiling cuz i knew for real that that isnt the way it works. There is some rule pychologists or sociologists came up with that say if u take a strong piece out of the game a smaller piece will take its place and that is the way of things. So though part of me wishes i had some life changing effect on some cats a stronger part of me loves the fact that that just wont ever be. Taoists' believe that when u need someone or something in your life that thing will seek you out as well. We all call to eachother and and need to fulfill eachother to help ourselves. That stronger part of me feels all warm and cozy secure in the fact that if im not there for my friends someone will be.

So if u can, massage my ego when u want, and try to remember me, but know i felt mighty comfortable, happy even (in my prime, at my best, at the highest moments in my life) knowing with my mind, spirit, and heart, that yall will be just fine without me.


(ps. this isnt like a suicide note or anything, im just saying im glad i trust the world to take care of things)

FAQ also (see previous post)

8. Is the sun really yellow? or does it just look like that. cuz i think it just looks that way.
-um ok, well i dont really know your guess is as good as mine.

9. Mike who's the girl?
-Becky, she lives on my floor at school and in crystal when were home. we been official for like a little less than two months and kinda been together a little longer. shes pretty sweet, real kind and giving and nice to people. doesnt seem to judge a whole lot, tries to look for the good in people. gets better grades than I, (thats an understatement) helps me do my homework. watches movies with me till 6 in the morning. doesnt smoke or drink that much. looks good in a dress, jeans, or sweat pants (which is quite hard to do when u think about it) makes me happy most of the time. uh i guess u can figure out the rest if/when u meet her.

10. what you listenin to these days?
-uh as for new stuff
the Hair soundtrack,
God loves ugly by atmosphere
and uh a little outkast
as well as some other stuff

11. whats funny?
-olde english is about to put out some more videos which i eagerly await.
that end of the world cartoon is pretty quick and funny
dan and ona from my floor are hilarious
the red vs blue series at redvsblue.com if u know the game halo

12. uh whats ur take on world politics?
-everting be fucked but we can do it better

13. whats up with egalitarianism?

aol dictionary
Main Entry: egal·i·tar·i·an·ism
Pronunciation: -E-&-"ni-z&m
Function: noun
Date: 1905
1 : a belief in human equality especially with respect to social, political, and economic rights and privileges
2 : a social philosophy advocating the removal of inequalities among people

um sounds reasonable, i dont think we will all ever be truly equal but i think we should try to see the good things about people, and the area in which they kick ass and then promote them and treat them respectfully for it. I think socialism is preferable to letting people or rather forcing people to suffer.


14. Are u still a nerd?
- sometimes, movie nerd mostly lately, my comp at school cant handle comp games, i guess i been playign a lot of x box in this kid named t-roy's room. I cant say im that good but i do fine.

15. Whats de deal?
- uh well its basically like 15 % off and then after the first 30 days u get an additional 10% off which is cool.

16. Hows morris?
-its smooth, a bit cold like windy as fuck, peoples are nice, classes are ok, so far i got a b + and an a in the two classes that have reported, the other two will be significantly lower.

17. How long is the hair?
-i cant really tell, i suppose it seems about shoulder length or longer.

18. Is it true you broke your glasses twice?
-well yeah, i mean i broke em, and then i got new ones, and they were really cheap so they broke also. I will get new ones soon.

19. are u excited to be home?
-yeah i am, im a bit nervous cuz i been home like two days and havent gotten much done, i've seen some cats and thats good, but eh, gifts glasses work and shit, none of that is done.

20. Finally mike what do u wanna be when u grow up?
-what does anyone want to be? well liked i suppose.

hmmm so i suck so heres an update

FAQ

"i think there may be a way that dr taylor and i can describe this to you thats both fun and educational."

1. Mike why dont you ever talk to me online anymore?
-well i guess its partly cuz im at school and there are people around, so i dont always feel like sitting in my room typing, also my room isnt very comfortable, i have probably written more e mails and posts from other people's computers this semester than mine.

2. Mike why dont you post anymore?
- same reasons, plus i tended to post more when i had something to say and no one around to say it to, this doesnt mean i dont want to post, i just dont really have anything to say. nothing of importance.

3. Mike why dont u have any pants on?
- same reason i dont have underwear on.

4. mike why dont u have anything of importance to say?
- well i guess its cuz due to having all these people around all the time, i dont have my usual time of self reflection, meaning at time im not fully in tune with myself or whats important to me. Now in certain cases, having conversations with people about things makes me analyze whats important to me, so with some things i feel like im doing ok, but in other areas maybe i need a day off you know? i guess its just that, normally the times i remember to stay humble and like love everyone and truly realize whats so wonderful about the world. is when im seperated from it. its like being in hell and seeing heaven, u realize all the bad things you have done and want so badly to make uo for it. and not that i like being in hell or anything but sometimes its good for me to cut myself off from the things i love so that i can appreciate them.


5. Mike why are you so hot?
-because im sitting on a heater.

6. Do you like pie?
-sometimes, when im by myself.


7 mike why are you leaving now and going to continue the post later?
-cuz my mom really wants to use the internet. and the monkey is about to throw poo at me if i stay.

RIFT
Last night, in the moments my thoughts were adrift
And coasting a terrace, approaching a rift
Through which I could spy several glimpses beneath
Of the darkness the light from above could not reach
I spied wings of reason, herself taking flight
And upon yonder precipice saw her alight
And glared back at me one last look of dismay
As if she were the last one she thought I'd betray

So much better I said to myself
And drawing quite close to the top of the shelf
I struggled with destiny upon the ledge
And gasped when defeated he slipped off the edge
And silence contagious in moments like these
Consumed me and strengthened my will to appease
The passion that sparked me one terrible night
And shocked and persuaded my soul to ignite

So much better I said to myself
And drawing quite close to the top of the shelf
I struggled with destiny upon the ledge
And gasped when defeated he slipped off the edge

And silence contagious in moments like these
Consume me and strengthen my will to appease

The passion that sparked me one terrible night
And shocked and persuaded my soul to ignite

sorry i suck, i promise more posts over break, but i been all not on the comp, in fact im not on mine right now. Becky says "i like pie."