Sunday, August 31, 2003
Friday, August 29, 2003
Thursday, August 28, 2003
I have this essay to write, some time where the perceptions of others got to me, as in i noticed they were treating me differently and how i reacted or felt about it and such. Its a hard thing to do, one because i sort of feel like thats my wholelife, and second because which do u choose, and which matters and which do i choose to incorporate in my new life here?
this posting field looks funny.
Hey i wish i could say this will be a life changing post, it wont be. It will howeva be an update on my life, and im sorry if its boring but feel free to update me on your lives, cuz i like that osrt of thing. But after a week of being here in morris (officially manana) I got some new pals. Mas potential and such. I guess im striking out to be the same person i always am, and thas pobably good cuz its usually the way i feel mos comfy. I guess my overall impression is that though most of the people come from different backgrounds, and some are even quite conservative, they seem to come hoping for new experiances and new thoughts to ponder. Meaning open minded to change, which is nice and i hope i come off the same way, though i am quite dead set on certain things. I guess the people see me as weird again, but i am weird so thats cool.
Hmm classes, i caught myself dreading goin to class this morning around 4am, as i was about to go to bed and had to wake up to go to lond somewhat boring classes, and its true i asked for it, but i kind of wish i had more discussion classes, like what we seem to do each night (what i hoped college would be like)
I do catch myself worrying about things, other friends, my own capabilities, these new cats, and new challenges. I guess i do go with the flow and the flow seems to sometimes lead to uncharted waters, or at maybe i forgot my map.
One dude on my floor mentioned that he didnt miss his friends yet, because he was having such a good time, and i found myself feeling somewhat the same way even though i had been thinking of several, i dont miss them in that sort of "life depends on it" way. I do find myself day dreaming about friends stopping by, maybe even steve. What would i do with them, what could i share, would they be entertained? how are things different here? Will i get to go to madison for the party of the year? maybe maybe no. and i hope everyone is having as good a time as I, and i know that they must be, because there is no way a fellow person would pass up the opportunity to be friends with them, and if they did thats like Throwing away gold in a world that really does depend on money, as they would be passing up love what we all thrive on. i want to write, as sarah does, as ryan does, as jenni does. i want to just throw stuff out there again and dont know how. I really want to write something like the mars volta, or frusciante or tim. Want relationships to grow and expand without watchful eyes and love to return.
Honestly the thought just scared me that i will be replaced, there are many much more deserving.
"time goes by, tables turn, no one knows"
my academic ability has suffered greatly in the few years since past life.
im um sick of babbling, much more to come including me actually talking on aim. I guess shit still hasnt settled down, we are riding a wave and sometimes the ride seems to important to allow it to subside. What happens when the wave breaks? we all go flying. It'll be a new adventure and hopefully we can crawl back to shore with thoughts and visions captured at the peak, apply them to ourland value, make millions in realestate ventures.
Hey i wish i could say this will be a life changing post, it wont be. It will howeva be an update on my life, and im sorry if its boring but feel free to update me on your lives, cuz i like that osrt of thing. But after a week of being here in morris (officially manana) I got some new pals. Mas potential and such. I guess im striking out to be the same person i always am, and thas pobably good cuz its usually the way i feel mos comfy. I guess my overall impression is that though most of the people come from different backgrounds, and some are even quite conservative, they seem to come hoping for new experiances and new thoughts to ponder. Meaning open minded to change, which is nice and i hope i come off the same way, though i am quite dead set on certain things. I guess the people see me as weird again, but i am weird so thats cool.
Hmm classes, i caught myself dreading goin to class this morning around 4am, as i was about to go to bed and had to wake up to go to lond somewhat boring classes, and its true i asked for it, but i kind of wish i had more discussion classes, like what we seem to do each night (what i hoped college would be like)
I do catch myself worrying about things, other friends, my own capabilities, these new cats, and new challenges. I guess i do go with the flow and the flow seems to sometimes lead to uncharted waters, or at maybe i forgot my map.
One dude on my floor mentioned that he didnt miss his friends yet, because he was having such a good time, and i found myself feeling somewhat the same way even though i had been thinking of several, i dont miss them in that sort of "life depends on it" way. I do find myself day dreaming about friends stopping by, maybe even steve. What would i do with them, what could i share, would they be entertained? how are things different here? Will i get to go to madison for the party of the year? maybe maybe no. and i hope everyone is having as good a time as I, and i know that they must be, because there is no way a fellow person would pass up the opportunity to be friends with them, and if they did thats like Throwing away gold in a world that really does depend on money, as they would be passing up love what we all thrive on. i want to write, as sarah does, as ryan does, as jenni does. i want to just throw stuff out there again and dont know how. I really want to write something like the mars volta, or frusciante or tim. Want relationships to grow and expand without watchful eyes and love to return.
Honestly the thought just scared me that i will be replaced, there are many much more deserving.
"time goes by, tables turn, no one knows"
my academic ability has suffered greatly in the few years since past life.
im um sick of babbling, much more to come including me actually talking on aim. I guess shit still hasnt settled down, we are riding a wave and sometimes the ride seems to important to allow it to subside. What happens when the wave breaks? we all go flying. It'll be a new adventure and hopefully we can crawl back to shore with thoughts and visions captured at the peak, apply them to ourland value, make millions in realestate ventures.
Thursday, August 21, 2003
To be honest, i feel blessed. Thinking about the people in my life. I feel undeserving of such incredible friends. at times its scary. scary to think of how much i could take for granted, scary to think how much it could all change, scary to think that anyone of these people may someday withdraw from me, or the world they've been given. its very overwhelming. its very awe inspiring to think about. is very amazing to watch growth and compassion. Its very wonderful to feel the warmth of their presence.
My religious beliefs would say i am at thi point connected with God. That is, i feel loved and love.
I havent actually sat down and thought or felt this way in quite awhile, in fact i was quite scared for a bit that i wouldnt feel it again. Now that its back i dont see how i could have ever lost it. I must not have been thinking, appreciating, i must not have been sitting beneath enough.
My religious beliefs would say i am at thi point connected with God. That is, i feel loved and love.
I havent actually sat down and thought or felt this way in quite awhile, in fact i was quite scared for a bit that i wouldnt feel it again. Now that its back i dont see how i could have ever lost it. I must not have been thinking, appreciating, i must not have been sitting beneath enough.
im either numb or really chill. i think my money is on numb. Its weird how my defenses work, couple days ago i really was teary eyed. Hell earlier today i was, but tonight it was all G, in a "im not actually thinking about it" sort of way while saying good byes.
Aimee taught me a great way to open new cds this afternoon, however i reclined the usage of it later while opening more cds. I think im worried about the remote possibility that it will break while im doing it. but basically u just on hook the two parts of the case, so that you can take off that nasty sticker thats holds them together in one nice piece.
Uh last year around this time i wrote a big list of people who i especially wanted to thank, and i cant think that way right now. But uh it will be ok.
I got the new 311 cd thats why the lyrics were posted. Also the new cds of both bands that used to be at the drive in were bought. (they split in a friendly way forming two bands)
The Mars Volta and Sparta (containing all the members of De facto a side project band two of the guys were in already)
but anyway im liking what i hear.
i guess i will update ya tomorrow, and then at morris.
i did not get my pictures back in time, to take them with. I will have to get my friends t pick them up and NOT steal them all.
Aimee taught me a great way to open new cds this afternoon, however i reclined the usage of it later while opening more cds. I think im worried about the remote possibility that it will break while im doing it. but basically u just on hook the two parts of the case, so that you can take off that nasty sticker thats holds them together in one nice piece.
Uh last year around this time i wrote a big list of people who i especially wanted to thank, and i cant think that way right now. But uh it will be ok.
I got the new 311 cd thats why the lyrics were posted. Also the new cds of both bands that used to be at the drive in were bought. (they split in a friendly way forming two bands)
The Mars Volta and Sparta (containing all the members of De facto a side project band two of the guys were in already)
but anyway im liking what i hear.
i guess i will update ya tomorrow, and then at morris.
i did not get my pictures back in time, to take them with. I will have to get my friends t pick them up and NOT steal them all.
Wednesday, August 20, 2003
some lyrics from the new cd of a band i like
"its one thing to make the same mistake twice, another thing to make it all of your life."
"It is a gift I know
A moment of bliss that we hold
A firecracker flash of light then on
To the next plane soul remain
Come along if you dare
It's gonna be that you're scared
Lovely life I thank you
For the reason to see the pain through
-----
Don't give up the fight to stay alive and even if
you have to
Find the reason of another's pain if they lose you
If not for your self then those around who care
like I do
One day you'll see the clear blue
Beyond the Gray Sky"
"In times of trouble
Everyone joins a team
No one waves a flag
For all human beings
No one’s excited
Unless they are divided
Someone’s going to have to give in
It seems uncertain
I’d like to be
One of the faithful millions
But what I see
Is an excuse for the killing
Your denomination
Should be a private thing
How about a spirit
For all human beings
How could something well guided
Turn out to be divisive
Mostly wondering
It seems uncertain"
~311
"its one thing to make the same mistake twice, another thing to make it all of your life."
"It is a gift I know
A moment of bliss that we hold
A firecracker flash of light then on
To the next plane soul remain
Come along if you dare
It's gonna be that you're scared
Lovely life I thank you
For the reason to see the pain through
-----
Don't give up the fight to stay alive and even if
you have to
Find the reason of another's pain if they lose you
If not for your self then those around who care
like I do
One day you'll see the clear blue
Beyond the Gray Sky"
"In times of trouble
Everyone joins a team
No one waves a flag
For all human beings
No one’s excited
Unless they are divided
Someone’s going to have to give in
It seems uncertain
I’d like to be
One of the faithful millions
But what I see
Is an excuse for the killing
Your denomination
Should be a private thing
How about a spirit
For all human beings
How could something well guided
Turn out to be divisive
Mostly wondering
It seems uncertain"
~311
ok im reasonably sure i haven't posted this before, but u never know and i just found it in a box
3-3-03
He dances Rebel
make you conscious of his confidence
let him verge and merge into pink, though obviously blue
watch
wait
wait
keep waiting
wait for
(honestly any second now)
THERE!! there it is. or was
did you see it?
that slight downward tilt
the muscles keeping him smile
couldn't withstand the weight
that one second of doubt
wondering where his friends lay about.
3-3-03
He dances Rebel
make you conscious of his confidence
let him verge and merge into pink, though obviously blue
watch
wait
wait
keep waiting
wait for
(honestly any second now)
THERE!! there it is. or was
did you see it?
that slight downward tilt
the muscles keeping him smile
couldn't withstand the weight
that one second of doubt
wondering where his friends lay about.
i was gonna set out to be a minimalist in packing, but as im going more and more things keep coming to mind, and why not bring them since i have them, i mean i'd onyl end up borrowing and buyign them anyway so...
maybe i will fill up a car.
im still very unsure of what im gonna do cd wise. i mean i could go cheap and just take the burned cds which would get me through a bit of time but i will constantly be wanting the other ones, and i am a paranoid motha fucker when it comes to my cds. They are better then money any day, and i dotn want them stolen or scratched or lost or nothing so im very unsure.
also things like clothes. As it is, i have like 2 months worth of clothes at my house, but this is way too much. so as it stands i think im bringing 4 heavy sweatshirt like things, like 6-8 long sleeve. 14 t shirts. and 4-5 pairs of pants. Too much? not enough?
packing for a new life is weird. a lot of the shit i know i wont need, but once again it comes to, What if?
maybe i will fill up a car.
im still very unsure of what im gonna do cd wise. i mean i could go cheap and just take the burned cds which would get me through a bit of time but i will constantly be wanting the other ones, and i am a paranoid motha fucker when it comes to my cds. They are better then money any day, and i dotn want them stolen or scratched or lost or nothing so im very unsure.
also things like clothes. As it is, i have like 2 months worth of clothes at my house, but this is way too much. so as it stands i think im bringing 4 heavy sweatshirt like things, like 6-8 long sleeve. 14 t shirts. and 4-5 pairs of pants. Too much? not enough?
packing for a new life is weird. a lot of the shit i know i wont need, but once again it comes to, What if?
Tuesday, August 19, 2003
In a hostel in Istanbul, near the blue mosque and several other major tourist and cultural attractions, you can find a computer printed copy of these words
Traveling in a fried-out combie
On a hippie trail, head full of zombie
I met a strange lady, she made me nervous
She took me in and gave me breakfast
And she said,
"Do you come from a land down under?
Where women glow and men plunder?
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover."
Buying bread from a man in Brussels
He was six foot four and full of muscles
I said, "Do you speak-a my language?"
He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich
And he said,
"I come from a land down under
Where beer does flow and men chunder
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover."
Lying in a den in Bombay
With a slack jaw, and not much to say
I said to the man, "Are you trying to tempt me
Because I come from the land of plenty?"
And he said,
"Oh! Do you come from a land down under? (oh yeah yeah)
Where women glow and men plunder?
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover."
Australians like to leave their mark in just about anyway they can.
Traveling in a fried-out combie
On a hippie trail, head full of zombie
I met a strange lady, she made me nervous
She took me in and gave me breakfast
And she said,
"Do you come from a land down under?
Where women glow and men plunder?
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover."
Buying bread from a man in Brussels
He was six foot four and full of muscles
I said, "Do you speak-a my language?"
He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich
And he said,
"I come from a land down under
Where beer does flow and men chunder
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover."
Lying in a den in Bombay
With a slack jaw, and not much to say
I said to the man, "Are you trying to tempt me
Because I come from the land of plenty?"
And he said,
"Oh! Do you come from a land down under? (oh yeah yeah)
Where women glow and men plunder?
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover."
Australians like to leave their mark in just about anyway they can.
Monday, August 18, 2003
hmm its been awhile.
hmm things -went to colorado, did some weak shrooms there, felt "swingy", watched a lot of partying, got pretty damn homesick, read a lot of welcome to the monkey house. Had some decent convos, studied some situations, wrote a letter, waited for a response.
I leave on thursday, this is all too rushed, everything will be fine, everything is grand.
i will update later, like a real one, this is just the basics.
hmm hopefully i will get my pictures back today, maybe not though, maybe tomorrow. natasha is a very nice girl, i feel bad for doing this to her.
hmm things -went to colorado, did some weak shrooms there, felt "swingy", watched a lot of partying, got pretty damn homesick, read a lot of welcome to the monkey house. Had some decent convos, studied some situations, wrote a letter, waited for a response.
I leave on thursday, this is all too rushed, everything will be fine, everything is grand.
i will update later, like a real one, this is just the basics.
hmm hopefully i will get my pictures back today, maybe not though, maybe tomorrow. natasha is a very nice girl, i feel bad for doing this to her.
Monday, August 11, 2003
i just made a raunchy comment on a friend's website, to find out what was said, go look at all of them.
It was Just for you that light show played a sweet show, though there may have been slight technical problems, and kristen needs a bit more confidence ( i mean if she blows us away with a whisper imagine what she could do if she really tried) ---> i'll try to work on it with her.
I was a bit nervous no one would show up, and slightly saddened that more people werent there, but it was good times.
very good times i dont really know what to say they are just good. I always have a hard time describing them to people, they play good original music. they dont really sound like anybody except themselves and its wonderful. (though sometimes hard to dance to) all of them are incredibly good at what they do so its hard to even say stuff.
we shall eagerly await more. (and of course, if nothing comes, support whatever future prospects they open up for themselves.)
shooby do wa. or something
is nick dating the ex? how do i feel about this? am im really only... fascinated, like new gossip? more of a how did this come to be sense. annika of course, but oh well, maybe we were just wrongly reading body language. i fear i care not, though i know neither.
hmm i meant that in the we not just me sense, btw im not so schizo right now. Nice to see jeremy, and alex, and kailyn (spelling?) and paul adrianne though i dont really know what to say to her in real life. Its been ages since i said a word to her, i was a shadow man, boy really, she never knew me, i never knew her, more heroine then human. melissa, i wish she was different, or more different in a way i could dislike, not that i have a crush on her anymore, but i wish i didnt get sparks of joy from her presence. Sometimes that falling thing is exhausting. In the long run, really, its hard to keep smiles on your face from history. its even more confusing when they fade though, at least this way i get good kicks the rest of my life, even if undeserving oh complex mind.
if your lost read the following. i fall easy. i fall often (or so it seemed) i tend to fall forever, or at least until something drastic happens something changes, snaps, tears away those good memories to the point of no longer longing but dreading.
uh i digress, sometimes i wonder why i still get a kick out of seeing a person whom ive fallen for even when its been years u know? it seems overwhelming at times just to carry that weight. the weight of past loves, even if positive.
need more? less? comment.
anyway, shit what am i saying. uh good times good peoples.
stage left. no really he did! (is that a bad joke or what)
uh i wish for insanity. Going to boulder tomorrow, err today, in a few hours. we three and drive my loco for something like 14 hours. i done it alone, no tengo problemo.
i should probably pack something eh?
anyway. uh anyway soon i shall depart with loved ones, and i fear for us.
I spend time wondering about the canals, the springs, the current of our underground rivers. can we find support, can our bonds hold under the burden of these coming desert storms? have we planted enough seeds? have we an oasis?
It was Just for you that light show played a sweet show, though there may have been slight technical problems, and kristen needs a bit more confidence ( i mean if she blows us away with a whisper imagine what she could do if she really tried) ---> i'll try to work on it with her.
I was a bit nervous no one would show up, and slightly saddened that more people werent there, but it was good times.
very good times i dont really know what to say they are just good. I always have a hard time describing them to people, they play good original music. they dont really sound like anybody except themselves and its wonderful. (though sometimes hard to dance to) all of them are incredibly good at what they do so its hard to even say stuff.
we shall eagerly await more. (and of course, if nothing comes, support whatever future prospects they open up for themselves.)
shooby do wa. or something
is nick dating the ex? how do i feel about this? am im really only... fascinated, like new gossip? more of a how did this come to be sense. annika of course, but oh well, maybe we were just wrongly reading body language. i fear i care not, though i know neither.
hmm i meant that in the we not just me sense, btw im not so schizo right now. Nice to see jeremy, and alex, and kailyn (spelling?) and paul adrianne though i dont really know what to say to her in real life. Its been ages since i said a word to her, i was a shadow man, boy really, she never knew me, i never knew her, more heroine then human. melissa, i wish she was different, or more different in a way i could dislike, not that i have a crush on her anymore, but i wish i didnt get sparks of joy from her presence. Sometimes that falling thing is exhausting. In the long run, really, its hard to keep smiles on your face from history. its even more confusing when they fade though, at least this way i get good kicks the rest of my life, even if undeserving oh complex mind.
if your lost read the following. i fall easy. i fall often (or so it seemed) i tend to fall forever, or at least until something drastic happens something changes, snaps, tears away those good memories to the point of no longer longing but dreading.
uh i digress, sometimes i wonder why i still get a kick out of seeing a person whom ive fallen for even when its been years u know? it seems overwhelming at times just to carry that weight. the weight of past loves, even if positive.
need more? less? comment.
anyway, shit what am i saying. uh good times good peoples.
stage left. no really he did! (is that a bad joke or what)
uh i wish for insanity. Going to boulder tomorrow, err today, in a few hours. we three and drive my loco for something like 14 hours. i done it alone, no tengo problemo.
i should probably pack something eh?
anyway. uh anyway soon i shall depart with loved ones, and i fear for us.
I spend time wondering about the canals, the springs, the current of our underground rivers. can we find support, can our bonds hold under the burden of these coming desert storms? have we planted enough seeds? have we an oasis?
Sunday, August 10, 2003
quick to judgment worry paranoia jealousy = quick to cage and confine
the purpose of life is to live right? and in my mind it makes sense that the best way to live is to be able to understand and appreciate things when the time seems right. when we are mature and open to things and have the coping skills and confidence and self discipline to be significantly braced for impact. and im skeptical that time is right for any of us, however isnt it so that in order to gain these attributes one must embrace life? so boundaries are rough, and im often scared for those who would go without shelter.
the purpose of life is to live right? and in my mind it makes sense that the best way to live is to be able to understand and appreciate things when the time seems right. when we are mature and open to things and have the coping skills and confidence and self discipline to be significantly braced for impact. and im skeptical that time is right for any of us, however isnt it so that in order to gain these attributes one must embrace life? so boundaries are rough, and im often scared for those who would go without shelter.
Friday, August 08, 2003
After all
Trials in Style
people and a sun,
two lines converge
fuel for consumption
waste in haste
past confusion
rapidly becoming
in need of confronting
switch over conversion
torturous subversion
have you see the new version, our new product?
*construct stimulation
*construct assimilation
*construct submission
*construct destruction manipulation inflation
sustenance abuse potency
calculations incapable
varied ineptitude
generosity uninitiated
community uninstigated
connection interrupted
leaving organs unprotected
forever leaving shards interjected
Trials in Style
people and a sun,
two lines converge
fuel for consumption
waste in haste
past confusion
rapidly becoming
in need of confronting
switch over conversion
torturous subversion
have you see the new version, our new product?
*construct stimulation
*construct assimilation
*construct submission
*construct destruction manipulation inflation
sustenance abuse potency
calculations incapable
varied ineptitude
generosity uninitiated
community uninstigated
connection interrupted
leaving organs unprotected
forever leaving shards interjected
Thursday, August 07, 2003
Wednesday, August 06, 2003
damn those crabs
anyway
Last night was a concerto three bands two of which i knew. The other Something corporate was like emo punk and their first song sucked balls, but then steadily increased in okay-ness. Dude was rockin out on a piano and kept pointing at things and people in the crowd. You know the ladies were lovin em, boys were like our age. Decent voices, shitty lyrics (from what i could tell) other then the piano, the music was like simple crap basically.
Of A Revolution, loved by college frat boys everywhere, and they were there, drinking away and hitting on every girl in sight while pretending to be interested in the music. I could not get into it, too much shit around me. And whats worse is then i get back to the back section (floor, target center) where all the 311 fans are chilling waiting for em to get on and they start bad mouthing OAR and their fans and thats just horrible cuz 311 is not all about that sort of shit. Anyway OAR plays a decent show, not great but it was good enough and they played all the songs i know by them so what ya gonna do.
311 -if the target center could handle music, this might have been a great show, it was pretty damn rockin, heavy energy in the audience, (too many people) but uh they played like 7-8 songs off the new cd which ranged from "pretty sweet" to "i wonder if this song is decent after you have listened to it 15 times" but anyway i will buy the new cd cuz im like that. Uh they played most of the crowd favs, the singles and their normal live songs. for about half the show i couldnt separate the bass and guitar parts, too much distortion and shitty target center sound. I fucked myself up on "beautiful disaster" i hurt today, not much dancing though, no room, too many people i could maim. At some point i got a safety pin stuck through my shoe into my foot, that was fun, no blood just nice fun pain.
oh well, thanks to pete for driving.
anyway
Last night was a concerto three bands two of which i knew. The other Something corporate was like emo punk and their first song sucked balls, but then steadily increased in okay-ness. Dude was rockin out on a piano and kept pointing at things and people in the crowd. You know the ladies were lovin em, boys were like our age. Decent voices, shitty lyrics (from what i could tell) other then the piano, the music was like simple crap basically.
Of A Revolution, loved by college frat boys everywhere, and they were there, drinking away and hitting on every girl in sight while pretending to be interested in the music. I could not get into it, too much shit around me. And whats worse is then i get back to the back section (floor, target center) where all the 311 fans are chilling waiting for em to get on and they start bad mouthing OAR and their fans and thats just horrible cuz 311 is not all about that sort of shit. Anyway OAR plays a decent show, not great but it was good enough and they played all the songs i know by them so what ya gonna do.
311 -if the target center could handle music, this might have been a great show, it was pretty damn rockin, heavy energy in the audience, (too many people) but uh they played like 7-8 songs off the new cd which ranged from "pretty sweet" to "i wonder if this song is decent after you have listened to it 15 times" but anyway i will buy the new cd cuz im like that. Uh they played most of the crowd favs, the singles and their normal live songs. for about half the show i couldnt separate the bass and guitar parts, too much distortion and shitty target center sound. I fucked myself up on "beautiful disaster" i hurt today, not much dancing though, no room, too many people i could maim. At some point i got a safety pin stuck through my shoe into my foot, that was fun, no blood just nice fun pain.
oh well, thanks to pete for driving.
Tuesday, August 05, 2003
Monday, August 04, 2003
I really like the songs, "quicker" and "abstract" by the drones, actually i like all of their songs but for some reason i always get hung up on certain lyrics in those songs.
____%%%________________$$$$____________________
what if i start doing that shit all the time? give the site a bit more character no?
anyway i dont have anything to say i spose i could say this;
We went to the dead and dylan show yesterday. Not exactly what we expected but still pretty good, some of us were a bit disappointed, we didnt know many of the songs played, and these cats i was with were all drinking and smoking to the point of misery underneath the hot sun. Dylan's set was pretty sweet, his band was very tight, a clean performance though at times elaborate, which sort of makes up for his inability to sing clearly (at times)
It was a really bluesy set, not folk music at all, and it had some kick to it which was nice, but definitely not a jam band thing.
The dead's first set (which had guest appearances from dylan and another dude) started off very jumbled, a little bit too much and they werent really in synch or whatever, it seemed like a nervous jam band who had no chemistry or were really rusty, but by the time they got a few songs in they slowed it down a bit and the crowd started reacting a bit more, and it seemed pretty sweet. My group and even I werent really able to get into it a whole lot though, cuz it was a bit hot i guess. (i hadnt eaten all day and my sugar level was definitely down.) The hill we were sitting on made my legs and head sort of tired, cuz i had to hold them up to see and keep steady so as not to fall down the hill. This meant that when i sat down i was sort of exhausted, that in combination with so much smoke basically put me to sleep, which made me feel stupid.
The third set (the dead only, from what we saw) came after the sun set, and it was pretty damn sweet if u had energy and liked jam bands. about 40 mins in i asked pete how many songs they had played and we agreed they were still on the third. by about the 6th song we were drained and ready to go. On the way back to the car we noticed the sound quality was easily as good in the parking lots in comparison to the actual park. Maybe next time it will be a parking fee only. hmm i think in total i heard 5 songs i knew. i figured that made sense since the both have been playing for millions of years.
joan osbourne sings back up for the dead now, its weird at times she sounds great with them and others like "what the fuck are u singing for?" i figure in the total time she was out there, she stood around for maybe an hour and a half and sang a decent part for about 15 mins of the total approx 2.5-3 hours. Im not saying they shouldnt have her, just give her her own set or her own song or something.
hmm i dont think i could manage at one of those big weekend fests. probably half a day or good vibes and the rest exhaustion and crabbiness. wouldnt want to do that with bands i like.
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uh im out of shit to say, i recently looked up douche online to see how exactly that works, probably not a high light of my life.
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even with this clock running i still find it hard to give that extra effort towards like making the end of summer especially good.
Planning on going to boulder next week with foulkes and zach and nick, meeting pete might be great, probably more rough then excellent, but maybe we can get some shit accomplished. More likely they can get their drink on.
was that too negative?
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hmm lots of strange nervousness, lots of feelings of want. Lots of strange almost jealousy at random strangers. Lots of thinking im hungry and not finding anything to eat. Lots of eating junk food.
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uh i had one last thing i thought up tonight, something about not being able to ever really be on the cutting edge of anything but also not really wanting to be, this at the thought of being a big school college prof. sounds like an evil thing, never want that much pressure, or that much plastic existence.
!)_@(#$+__________
oh wait also 311 and OAR manana, not excited
but should be decent
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what if i start doing that shit all the time? give the site a bit more character no?
anyway i dont have anything to say i spose i could say this;
We went to the dead and dylan show yesterday. Not exactly what we expected but still pretty good, some of us were a bit disappointed, we didnt know many of the songs played, and these cats i was with were all drinking and smoking to the point of misery underneath the hot sun. Dylan's set was pretty sweet, his band was very tight, a clean performance though at times elaborate, which sort of makes up for his inability to sing clearly (at times)
It was a really bluesy set, not folk music at all, and it had some kick to it which was nice, but definitely not a jam band thing.
The dead's first set (which had guest appearances from dylan and another dude) started off very jumbled, a little bit too much and they werent really in synch or whatever, it seemed like a nervous jam band who had no chemistry or were really rusty, but by the time they got a few songs in they slowed it down a bit and the crowd started reacting a bit more, and it seemed pretty sweet. My group and even I werent really able to get into it a whole lot though, cuz it was a bit hot i guess. (i hadnt eaten all day and my sugar level was definitely down.) The hill we were sitting on made my legs and head sort of tired, cuz i had to hold them up to see and keep steady so as not to fall down the hill. This meant that when i sat down i was sort of exhausted, that in combination with so much smoke basically put me to sleep, which made me feel stupid.
The third set (the dead only, from what we saw) came after the sun set, and it was pretty damn sweet if u had energy and liked jam bands. about 40 mins in i asked pete how many songs they had played and we agreed they were still on the third. by about the 6th song we were drained and ready to go. On the way back to the car we noticed the sound quality was easily as good in the parking lots in comparison to the actual park. Maybe next time it will be a parking fee only. hmm i think in total i heard 5 songs i knew. i figured that made sense since the both have been playing for millions of years.
joan osbourne sings back up for the dead now, its weird at times she sounds great with them and others like "what the fuck are u singing for?" i figure in the total time she was out there, she stood around for maybe an hour and a half and sang a decent part for about 15 mins of the total approx 2.5-3 hours. Im not saying they shouldnt have her, just give her her own set or her own song or something.
hmm i dont think i could manage at one of those big weekend fests. probably half a day or good vibes and the rest exhaustion and crabbiness. wouldnt want to do that with bands i like.
__________#__#_$____________@_@____
uh im out of shit to say, i recently looked up douche online to see how exactly that works, probably not a high light of my life.
___!!!_____%___^_____________________
even with this clock running i still find it hard to give that extra effort towards like making the end of summer especially good.
Planning on going to boulder next week with foulkes and zach and nick, meeting pete might be great, probably more rough then excellent, but maybe we can get some shit accomplished. More likely they can get their drink on.
was that too negative?
((**))__________________((**))_________________
hmm lots of strange nervousness, lots of feelings of want. Lots of strange almost jealousy at random strangers. Lots of thinking im hungry and not finding anything to eat. Lots of eating junk food.
&&&&&&________^^^^^^__________________
uh i had one last thing i thought up tonight, something about not being able to ever really be on the cutting edge of anything but also not really wanting to be, this at the thought of being a big school college prof. sounds like an evil thing, never want that much pressure, or that much plastic existence.
!)_@(#$+__________
oh wait also 311 and OAR manana, not excited
but should be decent
Saturday, August 02, 2003
Instead of going to the bank and doing the things i need to do, i will post.
The garage sale was smooth, i dont know if im getting a kick down or not but eh we made a few bucks and got rid of a bunch of shit and that was the goal mostly. That whole waking up at 7:00 thing was a bit uncool though. thats ll you get on that one
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Hmm we went to see chris the other day and that was interesting. First off the facility is in the middle of nowhere, but then its also not like a secure place or anything, i mean we could have easily snuck him tons of drugs and shit and they wouldnt have noticed. all we had to do was sign our names on a sheet of paper, like a quick guestbook and then we could go anywhere. We could have kidnapped chris and they wouldnt have noticed for quite a few hours. Its a nice place, and on top of that he gets treated pretty decent it seems, though they pulled some shit on him doubling his time there, and then adding a year at a half way house afterwards. Still I'd say he got off easy and i think he knows how lucky he is, and if he doesnt then thats pretty sad. Im hoping he stays clean, but u never can tell.
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Hmm the other day i got all sad, (lately when im sad i get really tired-i fell asleep at a random kids house last night) anyway, i got sad cuz i was talkin to gabs and realized we only have like a few weeks left. plus me and some cats are planning on goin to CO now for a week (like 11th through 16) or something and i just talked to jenny e and she said she was leaving on the 15th and i dunno it all seems too soon, and im much more worried about losing touch with people this time cuz half of em are already moving out to their place and possibly not coming back, and the others well i dont have a big trip and adventures to tell them so why would they keep in touch? I guess im just real sad about not knowing if i can hold on to something, and i mean that in the way of "let it go and see if it comes back" im worried the love wont return. I worry i havent done enough to make it feel at home.
im sure there will be more of that coming thats the shortened version.
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so this play fighting thing, first off this seems to be with just one person. (i dont know if it will continue, or maybe it was just last week or whatever, either way)
You know how little kids fight sometimes , like wrestling but it doesnt mean they are trying to hurt eachother, more just uh express closeness? This female friend of mine started picking fights and i responded, and later apparently she said something to another friend about thinking i was liking it or something, and i was, and this other friend likes to joke that im just trying to feel her up, and i am in a sense, but not like in a dirty way. I wouldnt grope her or anything, its a weird situation, but it doesnt make me uncomfortable really. I dont really know what im trying to say, i just think its an interesting thing people do sometimes and i dont know what to think or if its "right" or not. if you're saying "what the fuck mike?" right now, that seems to be the right response. If i've given the message that im feeling up a friend of mine while "fighting" that would be sort of incorrect, its weird i actually think of it more like dancing when its going on, wonder what steps to take next and how not to hurt her. strange very.
janis singing "flower in the sun" is most excellent. mostly i just like how she stays on top and rising and changing time with the music and everything, truly a wonderful vocalist, seriously its pretty spectacular. That band was damn good. i could go on all day with my bad speech and such but really i gotta go to work.
The garage sale was smooth, i dont know if im getting a kick down or not but eh we made a few bucks and got rid of a bunch of shit and that was the goal mostly. That whole waking up at 7:00 thing was a bit uncool though. thats ll you get on that one
_____________________________\/\\///_______________
Hmm we went to see chris the other day and that was interesting. First off the facility is in the middle of nowhere, but then its also not like a secure place or anything, i mean we could have easily snuck him tons of drugs and shit and they wouldnt have noticed. all we had to do was sign our names on a sheet of paper, like a quick guestbook and then we could go anywhere. We could have kidnapped chris and they wouldnt have noticed for quite a few hours. Its a nice place, and on top of that he gets treated pretty decent it seems, though they pulled some shit on him doubling his time there, and then adding a year at a half way house afterwards. Still I'd say he got off easy and i think he knows how lucky he is, and if he doesnt then thats pretty sad. Im hoping he stays clean, but u never can tell.
___((()))))((()))(()()()()_________________________________
Hmm the other day i got all sad, (lately when im sad i get really tired-i fell asleep at a random kids house last night) anyway, i got sad cuz i was talkin to gabs and realized we only have like a few weeks left. plus me and some cats are planning on goin to CO now for a week (like 11th through 16) or something and i just talked to jenny e and she said she was leaving on the 15th and i dunno it all seems too soon, and im much more worried about losing touch with people this time cuz half of em are already moving out to their place and possibly not coming back, and the others well i dont have a big trip and adventures to tell them so why would they keep in touch? I guess im just real sad about not knowing if i can hold on to something, and i mean that in the way of "let it go and see if it comes back" im worried the love wont return. I worry i havent done enough to make it feel at home.
im sure there will be more of that coming thats the shortened version.
_____==__=__-+++===++-______________________________________
so this play fighting thing, first off this seems to be with just one person. (i dont know if it will continue, or maybe it was just last week or whatever, either way)
You know how little kids fight sometimes , like wrestling but it doesnt mean they are trying to hurt eachother, more just uh express closeness? This female friend of mine started picking fights and i responded, and later apparently she said something to another friend about thinking i was liking it or something, and i was, and this other friend likes to joke that im just trying to feel her up, and i am in a sense, but not like in a dirty way. I wouldnt grope her or anything, its a weird situation, but it doesnt make me uncomfortable really. I dont really know what im trying to say, i just think its an interesting thing people do sometimes and i dont know what to think or if its "right" or not. if you're saying "what the fuck mike?" right now, that seems to be the right response. If i've given the message that im feeling up a friend of mine while "fighting" that would be sort of incorrect, its weird i actually think of it more like dancing when its going on, wonder what steps to take next and how not to hurt her. strange very.
janis singing "flower in the sun" is most excellent. mostly i just like how she stays on top and rising and changing time with the music and everything, truly a wonderful vocalist, seriously its pretty spectacular. That band was damn good. i could go on all day with my bad speech and such but really i gotta go to work.