"Too many puppies with guns in their hands.
Too many puppies in foreign lands.
Are dressed up sharp in suits of green and
Placed upon the war machine." ~Primus

So my Mom might work for the army as like a chaplain in Germany (my Mom is a pastor, religion is one of the many topics I will have to share at some point in the future to bring u people up to date on well me) but anyway this means she will be able to visit me and pay for things (which is slightly good and slightly bad) it also means she will be working for the army, which I realized today means she is doing something I myself have decided I can never do. "Why is this a problem?" you ask well if you know me you know I walk around with a peace sign on my neck and if you saw me at school all last year, on my face as well. "What does that mean?" it means I don't agree with war, something my Mom also agrees with, I believe. So if the draft starts up I'm CO, I will do my community service with pride. If not Canada is a beautiful country. "Still what's the big deal with your Mom? it's not like she is killing anyone." ok so I use to think that too I was like "well i could be a medic or even a chaplain, you know?" but then I realized war, is war whether your fixing up a guy who has just been shot by people he was shooting at, or blessing him to go kill more people. its war, its evil, its wrong no matter what even if your cause is "just" your still being evil. If a "terrorist state" is treating us bad cuz they think its "right" its not anymore "right" to go fuck them up. Its all propaganda.
Im not saying the army's job isnt sometimes necessary, when I see someone calling another person names, or hurting them physically I stop them too. Im just saying if I stop them by calling them names or hurting them physically its just as bad. So mixed feelings about it. Feel free to say your opinion on the matter or subject in general, I like to hear what people have to say. Im also not saying im guilt free I mean I'm just as evil and often more evil than the next guy, but I do try to be honest about it, like if I'm starting a war over oil, I'll tell the people exactly that.

"Circle entities leave me feeling left out
out of time out of rhyme with no feelings of sublime
Why when caring gets involved are the walls brought up?
and who complains in the rain when the suns still out?" ~ Chorus from mike's untitled rap song

Sometimes when I haven't eaten in like 20 hours my sugar level drops along with my self esteem, its really quite fascinating. Cuz in the span of like a minute I can go from completely optimistic and loving the world and thinking everything is so very wonderful to everything is wonderful except me and the world would be much better without me. Then as I keep on in this mood I start to think that the world is trying to drop me hints, like oh cant find my keys, no one has called, my brothers didn't put away my CDs, I have no new mail, I have to go to a movie by myself (which I usually actually enjoy) but then I cant find a parking spot and the line is like forever long and I go somewhere else like a coffee shop and i say hi to the guy working there and he blows me off and then I ask him a regular question and his response leaves me knowing he's not having a great day (and I'm not either so I cant help him out) I dunno stupid shit and I return home on the verge of crying for no real reason. But then I make some food cuz I know that's why I'm not having any fun and a mins later I'm fine again. So very fascinating. Sorry I just spent the last few hours moping around town. Sad the way we are chained to food, maybe I should say this now so when I'm in Europe and say I haven't eaten in a few days yall dont get worried. So I dont like food, I mean its fine I eat it, I pig out on junk food, but really I wish I didn't have to eat. Nikki and a few other cats have tried to convince me they love food, I've even had conversations about this cuz some people claim food brings them happiness, first off I don't understand that second it kinda disgusts me. So I tend to not eat a lot all that plus the fact that I hate the feeling of being full leaves me at about 1-2 meals a day on average and I have gone several without eating without much prob. The weird thing is I really love the food network and I sometimes find cooking fun. Anyway that's a quick summary, if you are wondering about eating disorders I have been brought to the doctor a couple times and haven't been diagnosed, however at times I have fit all of the symptoms of Bulimia minus the purging thing. Questions comments feel free Im pretty open about it, which worries my mother a bit, but oh well. Sorry just babbling Peace and love yall

"The fool is a wiseman until he opens his mouth" probably misquoted but you get the gist of it.

So, You ever have one of those conversations where you share like a lot of yourself with another person, and they share a lot with you, and its good and you feel great afterwards, go home with a smile on your face. But then like on the way home you start thinking "maybe I shared too much" not like "hey I'm talking to much here," you were thinking that the whole convo, I mean like maybe I gave away too many secrets maybe they now know im shallow and ignorant and conceited and not as funny or exciting as they use to think I was. That ever happen to you? It's weird cuz i pretty much will tell anybody anything about me but when I share it with anyone I like it gets me all weird afterwards, Hey makes it all the more exciting doesn't it? anyway so last night during a game of hearts at Perkins I casually asked some cats (with visible piercings) at the table next to us if when they were asked to take off jewelry when they were getting x rays at the dentist, both replied "nope dude, I think you got fucked." oh well, anyway they were having one of those conversations last night too and the guy who appeared to be like a big rocker kinda guy you know goatee long dark hair piercings dark clothes, anyway he was talking about his highschool days when he lettered in choir, and theater, and debate, and some other shit, and I was wondering if afterwards he too would feel like he shared too much last night.

An Ode to priceline

You give me a stomach cramp
while I dream of licking a foreign stamp
placing it on an envelope
sending it off to a place called home

You recheck and recheck
frustrating me with pain in the neck
but then when I get to your glorious end
I think to myself maybe I should check again

Oh the 15 mins is too long to wait
an eternity it seems when you dont know your fate
but my price is too low and will never be
as the airlines they say "no flight for he"

But one day we know the bid will succeed
A day full of joy so glorious indeed
and I'll soon be off with a ticket in hand
waving goodbye to my former homeland.

despite the weird Rhyme scheme and bad rhythm this song actually works out If i can ever remember the tune I will sing it for you (its kinda like old style)

Calling all Idealists
Ok so I thought I might as well tell you what we are doing with this diversity thing at Park high. So a few years ago this English guy a nice big Prof. was paid mad cash to come and do a diversity study on Park high and like offer recommendations on how to improve the climate and such. In the words of one science teacher at park who I will now misquote "Seems like a waste of money though, I mean you could send any random person down the hall and tell em to interview 10 kids for the same results." Which is very true, cuz basically Park high is what even my Mom calls "Minnesota nice" which is basically white people pretending to exist in a multicultural society when really people of different backgrounds live rather segregated. Ah so the guy did a good job and basically ended up showing what they predicted it would show, "Minnesota nice". So you would expect that they would do something with this now formalized info right? Na foo you wrong. The study is kept on the DL por que? who knows. Anyway so Ms Nova luna M. of Grinnell formerly of Park, did this project rediscovering all this and decided to start the revolution. So she got some cats together (anyone interested) and now we are trying to get this study and really the issue brought to light. Ah much easier said than done since kids are rather apathetic these days, and school boards don't want bad PC. So we are trying to get a "coalition" (made unpopular by a shrub) of students, groups at school, different members of the staff, and community to put some effort into this thing and get the ball rolling cuz really, who don't need some love?

ok so that last one is now solved because we both realized on our own that we were being stupid. Good job stupid men, only took you a few days. Anyway another example of stupid men me and my older brother both lost a significant mount of money tonight in cards cuz we were getting shafted while my lil brother took home the treasure, we both could not let him get away with it, and now both of us feel stupid. When will we learn? I really dont have anything else to say tonight maybe later I will come up with something but this is the way it goes for now. Peace and Love yall

Arrogance, Ignorance and Elitism often go hand in hand in the most mind boggling, frustrating, and enraging way ever. I mean I have a million examples of both times when I have done this (please call me out on this, I'm trying to learn but need help) and others around me have, and I'm always so very compelled to level the person. This is part of what makes me an asshole, ask anyone, especially Nikki but still even after working on this for years I can't help myself. So I really don't want to like be evil about this so I will be somewhat vague here even though the forum we were using is public, anyway I commented on some things this guy said, and he called me out on them, so I gave him some websites to look at, and after looking at them (I don't know how closely) he continued to call me out so I again quoted some professionals on the subject. All of that is not the point, the point is we were being stupid, we were wasting time and energy (and still are) getting angry at each other when we could have been doing some good in this world (besides vanquishing ignorance or whatever our justifications are) It's just stupid. Sorry but I was getting pissed for no reason, and I need to vent. Peace and Love to yall

"we all dream a lot - some are lucky, some are not, But if you think it, want it, dream it, then it's real, you are what you feel" ~ Tim Rice that's from joseph

Anywho I don't often remember my dreams so when I do they are special to me so yesterday I napped out of boredom and heat and dehydration.
In the dream I was bored so I went for a walk. It was night time and I strolled down 28th street from my house on 29th towards Texas, I was out looking for adventure but hadn't found any luck even though I had already walked about 5 blocks, anyway I rounded the corner on Texas thinking I wasn't gonna find anything and just then a car passed, it had loud sort of Van Morrison music playing, I kept walking (with my head down cuz I was thinking I wouldn't find anything) then another car passed going just as fast also playing van Morrison, I thought "that's interesting" to myself and kept walking with my head down, then a third car passed as I was turning the corner, once again the same van Morrison(sounding) song playing. I stopped, now I'm not a huge van fan so I couldn't tell ya the song name, but it hit me how odd that was, and then the song continued, but there were no cars goings by. So I turned around, and realized (staring at a row of houses) that it wasn't the cars playing it, it was a house. I thought "concert" to myself, and immediately started towards the houses. I knew I didn't know these people, but I was in search of adventure, and figured I could sneak in without anyone noticing (this is a thought I have been having a lot lately in real life) As I got closer one of the houses seemed to glow brighter and brighter, it had weird rope light things hanging from it, like the lights you attach to a camper when u go camping. Then as I was walking towards the door my legs suddenly hit something, and as I looked down a brown table with many different things appeared on it. On the other side of the table sat 2 girls, 1 a very young, like 6 years old who was staring at me very happily, the other a darker late teen with no actual face (that I can remember anyway) They both had costumes on and I realized this was a Halloween party. The girl asked me to sign up or something and gave me a pen. I signed my name on a piece of paper. She meanwhile stood up and started pouring a glass of wine, I for some reason was very interested in this (even though I don't drink, maybe it was cuz she was 6) Then as I was about to take the glass, she offered me another drink, a large red cup filled with coke. This felt like some sort of test to me, in real life I would always take the coke, but in this reality I had a very powerful urge to take the wine (which happened to be white wine in a weird clear yellow crystal wine glass sort of thing). I asked the girl which one I was supposed to take. She looked like she didn't care but looked slightly more at the coke, then she turned and looked at the other girl at the table, (the one with no face, she did however have long dark curly hair) anyway the girl got no reply from no face and then looked back at me. I took the coke. She then offered me several candies. I grabbed a bag of like sour/sugary gum ball things, because it was all ready opened. I put several of the candies in my mouth (then they disappeared, don't know what they tasted like) then I decided to add the sour/sugary stuff at the bottom of the package to my drink and attempted to keep the rest of the candy in the package but that didn't work so by the time I left the table and made it inside I had a large red cup full of coke and candy. I was ushered down stairs where I found out there was no band playing, just a stereo system. The place was packed, the lights were off but they had weird lamps and like christmas lights which made the room brighter. There was a couch on the left wall, which was very full of people who looked friendly enough, and one girl on the end (who I was attracted to) was looking at me, she kinda waved me over, and because the place was packed I spilled my drink a few feet from the couch, and then sat down right next to the couch with a half a cup of coke and candy. (such a me thing to do) The place I sat was a very tight squeeze and I found myself invading the girl's space quite a bit(even though she was on the couch and I wasn't) anyway the girl was no longer interested so I checked out the other cats on the couch, They looked familiar and lifted masks and such to reveal Tracy G (a girl I haven't really talked to in like 5 or 6 years but see off and on) and Morgan R (a guy I saw very recently) anyway as I was waving "hi" to them a girl in a black skin tight outfit squatted down in front of me, she wore a mask that covered her face but I some how knew what she looked like. She accused me of crashing a party (i presumed this was her house) she told me to leave, but I found some weird witty comment that justified my position in staying, so she just sat there staring at me as if she could kick me out by pure telekinetic will power. It was an awkward moment and I almost decided to get out of there but just then she said something like "well adrianne won't like this." and got up and went up stairs. (now knowing this was adrianne's house, not adrianne M, but probably the name cuz i keep reading hers)) anyway I figured she was gonna go tell on me but another glance at tracy and morgan showed they had my back.
(((much much later, when I was awake, I realized who the girl was, she was a very nice girl with blonde hair who I met a couple times at parties in Edina that Nikki (the ex) took me to, including a costume party. The girl was wearing the same basic outfit but with a mask this time and her hair pulled back. I have no idea why she was in the dream))))
Anyway the girl I didn't know on the couch had left along with several other guests from the party. So I got up from my sitting floor position but as I got up just about everyone else in the room including Morgan and Tracy all went up stairs. I went through a doorway which split off into 3 rooms, 2 bedrooms and a bathroom. I checked out the bathroom, and found a weird glowing squirt container thing, I couldn't make out what it was so I took it into the bedroom where I could turn on a better light. As the light turned on the thing stopped glowing and read "antibacterial solution" and I thought "oh, duh" and hit myself on the head. Then I heard a noise, and panicked. "they're coming to get me" I thought to myself, and ran through the bedroom back into the bathroom thinking "ok they wont look here" but just in case I figured I would hide in the bathtub behind the curtain. As I stood there stressing for a few mins I listened to the foot steps, and realized that it wasn't the mob come to get me, but just one person. For some reason I assumed it was a girl and I secretly hoped she would come use the bathroom. (dirty dirty mike) Anyway I started drinking from the container, then suddenly remembered it was the antibacterial stuff, and leapt out of the tub to spit it in the sink, and that's when I woke up on my mom's bed spitting all over her covers. A few mins later I got up and looked at my arms cuz they hurt and saw the coolest patterns ever (like weird red and blue trees, and weird slimy oceans, seriously never seen anything like it and I use to fall asleep in class every single day) anyway that's it. Peace

AH the third and final piece of the puzzle (sorry no more elizabeth at least in this story)

So when we left off me and Elizabeth were running away from a very friendly African American man with a torn shirt, a crush on Elizabeth and a need for a cig. Why? because we are pathetic suburban white kids and it was night time.
From there we decided there was only one place to go, the SLP nature center, where once it was discovered that a deer walked across a bridge and could never go back (different story for a different time) anyway on the way over we passed a golf course going a luxurious 35 on a 30 mph road. I asked Elizabeth if she had ever been on it. She replied no and we discovered a new and more exciting destination to fulfill our adventurous needs. So we parked by Kat B's place (over on the N side) because it is common knowledge to many kids on
the wrong side of the track's, (our side) that there is no fence in that strip of the golf course. We made our ways like spies in the night (cuz we were) stepping in the shadows and keeping our voices at a lower volume. We peeped in the glowing basement windows, perchancing to see one of those wild parties that goes on at the B's house. We found only piles of junk, we continued on, nearing the golf course we lowered our pace (like you do on Oregon trail, which I think is where Elizabeth is right now) Anyway at some point on the grass we elevated ourselves from suburban teens to suburban teens with a Minneapolis golf club membership. I must say the grass "it's a nice" We felt like Royalty but for some reason still walked around with are backs slightly hunched, knees bent, like we were ready for a knife fight at any second.
Then we heard a noise.
Not just any noise, a strange duck/goose sounding noise. We both wondered "what was that?" out loud, and left ourselves silent answering with the question. We walked on, "quack!" it came again. We walked on and again it quacked. Things proceeded like this for quite awhile until we noticed with each passing second the quacks were getting louder. The fear took over in us, and we turned around, quack quack quack every few seconds. We raced back onto Kat's yard expecting it to let up but no, it did not stop. As we walked by Kat's windows we noticed a cat was sitting there but that couldn't stop us from our retreat, after all a crazy militant mutant guard goose was on our tail and approaching quick. We returned to the car and shouted out our rebellious slogans at the bird who we still could not see, but it would not stop its insanity. So we drove away.
Where to you ask? Where else can you go after you have just retreated from a homeless man (me in a few months) and an insane duck bent on chaos and disorder. We went to (what I thought were supposed to be) the new lower income housing units. As we got there I noticed the streets were unbelievably clean (for a construction area I mean) then we noticed the buildings had pillars, and well, looked better than our homes. As we approached we realized these were not shabby apartments but condos, we saw a party on a front stoop, they were well dressed young white people. We walked on, a car drove by us, and looked, well sharp, we walked on. We saw the sign, it said something about space in the 200s, we started back, the car was pulling into a garage, inside the garage, MORE GARAGES! All clean all white all perfect. We walked up to party, (me)"hey how much do these go for?"
man " oh 250s, 230s I dunno maybe 200," he said it casually then went back to his drink and women. We walked back to the car,

"those were yuppie pads," "I know" "why?" "I dont know" "no seriously who with money would want to live here?" "its a strange world" I dropped her off at her house. It was a bizarre night.

my best friend pete writes " lookatthosetrees [12:56 AM]: so Anna f-------, whom i am talking to right now has bubbles, the powerpuff girl for her icon, and it just makes me wish even more that i was in her pants, or that they were on the floor along with her shirt bra and panties "

This one time I dropped an entire glass bottle of barbecue sauce on the kitchen floor.

So today I noticed my comments section wasn't working, temporarily unavailable or something. So I waited, this had happened a number of times and I figured it would be ok. Hours went by I started worrying. I went to a grocery store to cash a check, comments not working. I took a nap, still not working, I watched TV, and read 32 pages of an analysis of the diversity of SLPHS, still not working. I called some pals, went to a movie (by myself sadly) and got in a car accident (no big deal) still not working. I decided it was time for a change, I went to their website, mysteriously gone (I think it was taken over by a some big corporate kinda site) So I went to a different program, not accepting new members. I went to another, temporarily unavailable. I went to another, in a different language. I went to another, too complicated, went to another, attempted to install, didn't work. Went to the one who was too complicated, attempted to install, didn't work. Went to another site, got it to work but it said "shout out" in the comments place, tried to fix that, didn't work, started having a mental breakdown, went to another site, tried to install didn't work, went back and tried the first one that didn't work and it worked. 45 mins of exhausting search, copy, paste, publish, check, failure and now I have one that says comments (#) whats on your mind? and is too white. Thanks for listening I will try to post the 2 other things I have to tell you about later, but for now sorry the old ones are gone hope this works out.

FAQS
says it all doesnt it?
Mike can you wipe your ass with your hair?
nope not yet it is currently only to my hip bone, and I do not think it will make it in the 2-3 months left.
What do you mean 2-3 months?
sometime in november late october I will cut off my beautiful locks, cuz that will have been 3 years.
Mike when are you leaving?
hopefully sometime in september like mid to late sept.
Mike do you have plane tickets yet?
nope not yet, and I know none of you believe me that I'm going, I just havent settled down at the comp with my mom and her credit card.
Mike why is the sky blue?
I think it has something to do with light and the atmosphere and Phish's "bouncing around the room"(sorry no link)
Mike do you spend the entire day in front of the computer screen?
you bastard why do you always have to throw "the truth" at me? Its just inconsiderate, obviously I spend the whole day in front o the computer.
Mike, I once saw you freaking out at a concert, are you on drugs?
nope thats all natural baby, cept a lil cherry coke.
You can flavor cocaine?
for sure dude.
anyway that is it for this Faq send in more questions and I will try my best to answer them, ps. I may have to finish the adventure without Elizabeth cuz she may have gone to camp. Hasta luego

ok so while I wait for Elizabeth to come on so we can finish telling the story of yesterday night, I will share with you 3 magical things
1. pick up lines
2.a single guys bible
3. What I did today, I woke up at the butt crack of 10:30 (way early for me but I did go to bed early at 4.) then I sat in line for the one (currently) functioning shower in my house. After showering I drove to Nova Luna's for a meeting on how to improve diversity and such at Park High, this meeting included the famous Red and Jeremy (2 of the most respected members of the Park high staff) as well as Nova and Morgan (who personally have my vote for the top 10 cool cats around) my brother James, and some students who actually attend park high. We had good times but ended the meeting around 1:30 cuz Morgan and Nova went to get tattoos. Then I went to work, (Nick's Ice cream and Popcorn) but before I could make it into Ridgedale mall (where the store is) I had to find a parking spot, which is really ruff when the state fair is going on cuz people can take shuttles from the mall to the fair. Anyway I eventually ended up just following a guy who walked out of the mall to his car, and stole his parking space. So I worked with some cats and had some good convo, helped some kids get ice cream and then came home. (Not as interesting as I thought it would be sorry)

(Mike again) When we left off our heroic adventurers were battling the evil dragon and saving some sort of fair maiden or something, no no wait that was a different story this is the one with billboard off highway 100 right? ok so After Elizabeth climbed down from the billboard which must have been 3 miles high (I kid u a little) We took a little trip down to city hall, located very VERY close to the police station. Which I might add, is rumored to actually be the hideout of known police officers. Anyway we checked out the symbolic and patriotic art work hanging on the walls in the front lobby or whatever, and left wondering why we weren't invited to crash on our teachers lawn this summer. (Elizabeth) So from there, we went to the park. The playground at this particular park, Mike pointed out, was designed by someone on drugs. At first glance, all the play equipment SEEMS like what you'd find at any other park, but on closer examination, you begin to realize that everything is slightly off. The planks on the bridge don't connect to one another, leaving gaping holes for children to fall through. The thing that you grab onto to slide on across (zipline?) doesn't really slide. However, as we were approaching the playground, we noticed a ribbon hanging from a tree. I pulled on it, and found a yellow balloon attached to the other end. It was magical, I guess.
Suddenly, a figure appeared on the horizon. We tried to stalk him, but when he sat down on the bench and started to pray, (at least that's what it looked like to us) we got scared and abandoned our attempt. (Mike) His walk we decided was like an overly angry march and he had long legs so it seemed rather cartoonish, also he was wearing a camouflage army shirt and weird "hot topic" like dark cargo pants with huge pockets. As we returned to the car we noticed an old couple who may or may not have been A) friends B) planning a revolution C) drug smuggling D) spying on random people who walk through the park E) having an affair. They did seem to take separate cars we sadly figured E. Then we drove to Nerd Heaven. Yes, Dreamers was packed with magic playing geeks of all flavors, and we admired them through the large glass windows, that is before we joined by a man who may or may not have been homeless/what I will be in a month. He was rather friendly though and seemed particularly interested in the young lady accompanying me. After much wild discussion me and Elizabeth shrinked away feeling slightly uncomfortable (being suburban white teens, so sad, no excuse I know) Then I reversed straight into the side wall of Dreamers. (no major damage I hope) and we went forth into the night to seek more adventure. Tune in next time (later tonight) for the exciting conclusion to the epic tale of woe and mystery or something.

You'd think you would notice getting 2 mosquito bites on your neck

Sadly that's not true (at least in my case) however what is true is that there is a place called Narnia, and it exists in our very own town of St. Louis Park. I shit you not, and my pal Elizabeth knows the way.
(the story by Elizabeth and Mike slightly altered due to legal constraints and such)
It was a Friday night much like tonight, in fact it was tonight, and I was sitting at home all alone watching reruns of the Anna Nicole show on E! Anyway the phone rang, "who could it be?" I thought to myself. It was Elizabeth (crazy mysterious detective music begins here) 25 mins later while I tried to operate a broken pay phone, Elizabeth came up with a most adventurous adventure, we would travel to the mysterious land of Narnia. :::switching narrators, Elizabeth writes::: Where is Narnia? Well, sadly, I cannot disclose that information, but I can tell you that it is cool. There was a terrible stench, brambles, bugs, and a deer. Also a highway. And some stone picnic tables. Mike and I were wandering around when we stumbled on a factory just outside Narnia. Apparently, "Nordic Ware: America's Finest Cookware" is manufactured there. The huge doors were open, so we could see right onto the floor. We watched the forklifts zooming around, and listened to the crashing sounds coming from the belly of the machinery. "Why are they manufacturing America's Finest Cookware at 11:00 at night," we wondered. Well, we never found out because we did not go inside to ask. We were off again, in search of more thrills. We found them at a billboard overlooking Highway 100. Tune in tomorrow morning for the second installment to this epic adventure.

a little bit lighter

A panda walks into a bar, sits down on a barstool, and asks the bartender for a sandwich.
The bartender gives the panda a suspicious look noticing the panda's black and white fur, but prepares a sandwich and slides it to the panda.
The panda proceeds to eat the sandwich. The bartender and several others in the bar watch on with interest.
The panda finishes the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the bartender, gets up and heads toward he door.
A man in the back of the bar yells out to the panda "Hey! Who do you think you are?!?"
As the panda walks out of the bar he yells back "Look up panda in the dictionary!"
The man does just that and reads "pan*da : a large black and white furred mammal that eats shoots and leaves."

Whenever I eat an Oreo cookie I get this weird feeling. I of course eat them like everyone else, just the way they do it in the movies/commercials. You hold it up, look it over, take it with both hands, and break apart. Now one should be excited, happy, thinking "this is wonderful I'm gonna eat this great tasting cookie,” and I do feel that way, but I also feel sad, it's bittersweet. "Great cookie, good future" on one side, on the other "I'm never gonna have this whole cookie again." But still after it’s done, and I have scarfed it down and tasted the greatness of that cookies future, I'm always glad that splitting moment occurred. So to the friends who's love has made me, and this part of my life feel like a whole cookie, I say thank you (I hope you enjoyed it too). Now remember to keep an open heart and mind, and you will find comfort and happiness in the love and beautiful life of this world. and though it is bittersweet I say
part in peace, with all my love, faith and respect and let the world sample your greatness.

This isn't the second thing but oh well, I saw something on the history channel last night that said its more likely that a 1 km meteor will hit earth (the size to do enough damage to fuck everything up) in any given year, then it is to be dealt a royal flush, anyone out there ever dealt a royal flush? (I have been close, I had a straight flush queen down a few weeks ago.) hopefully I just misheard the guy (which might have been Leonard Nemoy I can't remember.

I woke up with 2 things on my mind, 1 now, 1 later when I know what I want to write about it,
Mike's feelings on tanning delivered through a short dream.
Somehow I had become tan, maybe it was the week in Vancouver, laying on the beach with my pant legs rolled up, maybe I had just been outside a little too much lately, maybe all those kids who always thought of me as pasty finally decided to do something -slipped me a roofie(spelling) took me to a tanning salon during my normal sleeping hours (daytime). That was not the point, no, being tan is not so bad its not great but its not horrible and under normal circumstances would probably make me look healthier, so at least my parents would be happy. However this was not just tan, this was burnt (with tan coloring). My skin was peeling scabbed over horrendous disgusting. Cracks appeared like they do in the desert on a hot day, blistered, skin could be ripped off like paint on an old house, and I of course, being the little boy that I am, tore the scabs from the flesh. My already gross and malnourished, unmuscular legs now had large pieces of skin and flesh just ripped from them as I watched and continued with fascinated horror. My back and chest which already reveal my skeleton frame, started showing my skeleton frame amongst blood, and skin and flesh and it was hideous, so I kept wondering why there was this crowd of "good looking people" around me, oohing and awing and talking about how handsome I looked.
-sorry this is so weird and doesn't really make sense, it is a dream I mean they don't have to.

So, (something to show you who I am) There has been this like dream of mine (for as long as I can remember) to be able to see like only the good in people, see only the good things they can accomplish only their positive side, the characteristics that make them so beautiful so very worthy of love. I'm not there yet, I have made some progress but really I'm not even close. However when I do let my walls down put my love and faith and trust into a person, which doesn't happen often, I do tend to start only thinking of the person positively, anything they do or say wrong, becomes easily forgivable. Not on the spot of course, but within a day or so my love for them is pretty pure again. However, a problem I have come into, with this way of living is, people make mistakes, they aren't perfect, and they do not always live up to their potential, or the goals you or even they set for themselves. This is easily forgivable of course, but disappointing. Disappointment is not always a bad thing it helps you and the person reevaluate, and sometimes even get closer, however it can be frustrating when it occurs regularly, this can lead to fighting and even breakups and "tainted love" as I usually say. Now normally this would be OK, I mean it's hard, your feelings got hurt, maybe you feel betrayed whatever, but that's it, your done, move on you know? The weird thing is though, with this whole only seeing the positive side, you get over the hurt within a few days and go back to remembering them (for months, years) as beautiful, worthy of love, like totally amazing people. So, you still wait for your (ex) favorite parent everyday after school (he doesn't come), still save a spot for you (ex) best friend at the lunch table for 3 years (he sits somewhere else), you still look for your (ex) girlfriend's car at every intersection, and hope maybe she is waiting for you in a movie theater every time you check out a film (even though you now have nothing in common and both of you are sure the other can't stand you, though at least one of you hopes that isn't true)

----Still I think of this as a wonderful gift and wish I could fall for everyone that way.
Peace and Love to You -Taff

The first posting I was supposed to have had, had I been on top of things a few weeks ago when I wrote it, too bad it really loses its flavor now.
"Crowded Minnesota basements are a terrifying thought to any self respecting schizophrenic, obsessive compulsive hypochondriac with a great big case of claustrophobia and a tendency to exaggerate, especially ones in which that crowd is made up of older strangers trashed on beer and smoking like there is no tomorrow (or at least no cigarettes tomorrow) oh plus really bad lighting (like most basements) and a semi damp feeling cold carpet. Yeah so why brave this hideous environment? I can maybe think of 4 decent reasons.
1. You are just as drunk as they are.
2. You are with a beautiful woman or multiples
3. Its well before WW2, Hitler is there and you have a gun (talk him out of it, don't kill him)
4. A great band is playing in the immediate vicinity

If u know me and my straight edge ways and you understand that 3 is just a made up situation then your only question is what band Mike?
and the answer is Seven Days Remain cuz they rule!!
If you don't know them they are like grungy rock which fits the basement filled with smoke perfectly otherwise why would I be there u know? Anyway Beautiful show, slightly creepy atmosphere, all cut short on the last song by a power shortage in the bass amp. Oh music when will you ever learn? "
This Post was cut short cuz I was lazy but it was the first one before I went to Vancouver Last week....

Once upon a time I found myself in a far away land, in a store with little to no money (having just dropped it somewhere). I was talking to a man who spoke very little english but had said he had visited the U.S. once a few years back. The man was a store clerk, he was taller than me but was just as lanky though he covered it with a green striped sweater vest, he had dark skin but had lighter hair like he was going somewhat gray or had been spending a lot of time in the sun. Anyway I told the man of my predicament, and he seemed shocked to see me in such a good mood. He asked me many questions about what I would do and I just kept telling him I was sure things would be fine. Anyway after enough of this he simply stated to me "you know denial aint just a river in Egypt" with a somewhat Indian/Italian accent and then proceeded to laugh hysterically for several minutes. After a while I kinda wondered (from his laughing) if he even knew what that meant. -You know how sometimes people just repeat things in similar situations?- Well, anyway I asked him, and he shook his head that he didn't really understand and then we sat there in his dark little store for a good five minutes just staring at the wooden floor. _none of this really happened but you can imagine what it would be like if it had eh?

Oh you know checking if stuff works and all

19 de Augusta 2002 _starting the long monkey dive to infinite oblivion
This page, for all of you who do, or maybe don't know me, is to bridge the gap between me and my pals/family while I'm bumming around in Europa. I plan on leaving in approx. 1 month. Plan on visiting every square inch of beautiful land and maybe some that isn't. Create some friendships with some cats in foreign lands, and maybe people too if I got the time. I will soon post the whole story and maybe some random stories, and poems and shit for your viewing pleasure. I must admit this site may not work and if you haven't seen a post in a month I'm either dead or gave up due to tech difficulties or money probs. Until next time Peace and Love Your everlasting Taffyman