Flowings of Your Everlasting Taffyman

"Circle entities leave me feeling left out
out of time out of rhyme with no feelings of sublime
Why when caring gets involved are the walls brought up?
and who complains in the rain when the suns still out?" ~ Chorus from mike's untitled rap song

Sometimes when I haven't eaten in like 20 hours my sugar level drops along with my self esteem, its really quite fascinating. Cuz in the span of like a minute I can go from completely optimistic and loving the world and thinking everything is so very wonderful to everything is wonderful except me and the world would be much better without me. Then as I keep on in this mood I start to think that the world is trying to drop me hints, like oh cant find my keys, no one has called, my brothers didn't put away my CDs, I have no new mail, I have to go to a movie by myself (which I usually actually enjoy) but then I cant find a parking spot and the line is like forever long and I go somewhere else like a coffee shop and i say hi to the guy working there and he blows me off and then I ask him a regular question and his response leaves me knowing he's not having a great day (and I'm not either so I cant help him out) I dunno stupid shit and I return home on the verge of crying for no real reason. But then I make some food cuz I know that's why I'm not having any fun and a mins later I'm fine again. So very fascinating. Sorry I just spent the last few hours moping around town. Sad the way we are chained to food, maybe I should say this now so when I'm in Europe and say I haven't eaten in a few days yall dont get worried. So I dont like food, I mean its fine I eat it, I pig out on junk food, but really I wish I didn't have to eat. Nikki and a few other cats have tried to convince me they love food, I've even had conversations about this cuz some people claim food brings them happiness, first off I don't understand that second it kinda disgusts me. So I tend to not eat a lot all that plus the fact that I hate the feeling of being full leaves me at about 1-2 meals a day on average and I have gone several without eating without much prob. The weird thing is I really love the food network and I sometimes find cooking fun. Anyway that's a quick summary, if you are wondering about eating disorders I have been brought to the doctor a couple times and haven't been diagnosed, however at times I have fit all of the symptoms of Bulimia minus the purging thing. Questions comments feel free Im pretty open about it, which worries my mother a bit, but oh well. Sorry just babbling Peace and love yall