Monday, February 28, 2005

been listening to a lot of http://www.doomtree.net/ p.o.s and the like.

Becky makes it sound like i been missing out on the whole seen and such, maybe i have im a new born into hip hop. anyway I saw them last week and it was one of the most rediculously awsome shows i have ever seen and i immediatly purchased the two cds they had there and should have given kristen some cash to buy me the ones from their cd release this weekend.

my mom came up.

UMM jazz concerts are the best
props to the cats in the vagina monologues

peace the cats in the east
"jeffrey are you listening?" download that song its pretty sweet

Monday, February 14, 2005

My e folio project is hardly started but heres a link if anyone is ever interested. its kind of like an online resume/website

Sunday, February 13, 2005

"Going Inside"
You don't throw your life away-Going inside-You get to know who's watching you-And who besides -you resides-In your body-Where you're slow-Where you go doesn't matter-Cuz there will come a time-When time goes out the window-And you'll learn to drive out of focus-I'm you- and if anything unfolds-it's supposed to-You don't throw your time away sitting still-I'm in a chain of memories-It's my will-And I had to consult some figures of my past-And I know someone after me-Will go right back-I'm not telling a view-I've got this night to unglue-I moved this fight away-By doing things there's no reason to do
"Everything I eat is from the Earth, right.
I am what I eat straight up Earth, right.
Nothing but a walking sack of Earth
nice to meet you how do ya do.
Guess what. Ya you're one too.
My skin holds me in
my brain moves me then
boom.
I jump straight off the speaker in a form a celebration
that we're moving.
Freely disconnected
I'm truly grateful
I'm going back to the Earth.
I'm not gonna waste life being hateful." ~311 "hyrdoponic"
Residential Advisor Application
1) Reasons for applying for the position.
There are three major reasons I can think of for why I would want the RA position.
The first reason is simply for the experience. I love meeting people, learning from people and hearing about different backgrounds and views on the world. My favorite memories from living in the dorms have been and will hopefully continue to be late night conversations and creative adventures, finding ways to be entertained in Morris and forming a community amongst my floor and dorm mates. Although this goal can easily be accomplished by just living in the dorms, I have taken it on as a personal challenge and learning experience to form friendships with people who I might normally not associate myself with. Finding common interests with people of different political and moral backgrounds has been a particularly fun experience. For example my floor mate John, a Lt. in the reserves, and I have found a common respect and interest in history and other cultures though I am and have been a firm believer in peace and peace movements for many years.
The second reason is very similar to my interest in meeting people and seems to me to be a major component of being able to make strong friendships, which is bringing about and supporting a comfortable community in which people feel respected enough to voice their thoughts, opinions and feelings about a situation. This I see as the most significant job of a RA and also seems the most rewarding. In my first year here my floor-mates and I felt a strong bond and sense of friendship that has remained and though some have moved on, 13 of us decided to stay on for a second year on 3B and one student from another floor felt so comfortable he requested to join us. This accomplishment, though it seemed natural to us, was apparently a first in the dorms (or so we were told). One major reason for this, I believe, can be attributed to our relationship with our former RA (Sarah Campbell) who still visits regularly. Her commitment to make the floor a place of mutual respect and to bring about a supportive environment brought out the best in many of us and it is this sort of environment that I think allows students to excel.
In a similar way I have felt a strong desire to create that sort of environment in my own life for many years, which has allowed me to support my friends and family through many troubling experiences, including parental divorce experiences, eating disorders, death of family members, gambling addictions, substance abuse problems and peer pressure, as well as many common situations for teens such as break ups and school/work decisions. I cannot of course take credit for anyone "getting through" these problems but I have felt honored to know that many of my friends attribute their successes to having friends and supporters in their life to fall back on. These experiences have led me to feel a sense of purpose in my life to help support those who may need it, a responsibility I take very seriously while trying to acknowledge my limitations.
These two reasons, a love of people and a desire to help them along while they make the decisions that direct their lives, has led me to want to be a teacher.
The third reason is simply that if I am planning on trying my best to meet and support new people, I might as well get the training so that I can do it the best way possible and in more ways than I could simply living in the residence halls. I hope that the position will allow me to take on these responsibilities and provide me with more experience and knowledge so that I can continue to try to do this in the future, while teaching and in life.
2) Previous related experiences/positions.
Work/Jobs
* Nick’s Ice Cream and Popcorn (Ridgedale Mall, 5 years of working with peers, helping customers, and taking on leadership roles amongst my co-workers)
* Fanny Farmer (Ridgedale Mall, similar to Nick’s except to a lesser extent and for a much shorter time period)
* Assistant Teacher for School Age kids program /summer 2004 (St. Mathews in St. Paul, a daycare for elementary school kids, my job included opening, greeting parents, watching kids alone for several hours, providing games and coordinating learning activities)
* Art teacher/Teacher’s Aid (summer school district 287 Southwood Bloomington)
High School Related
* Save Our Surroundings (environmental and social justice group, leader/advisor role, 3 years)
* Mandala (literary arts and art publication, 2 years, 1 year Art editor and editing advisor)
Morris Related Volunteer
* Willmar mural project (project that was in conjunction with the United Latinos group on campus and the sociology department, didn’t work out, but had some experience working with students from Willmar high school and participated in their world culture fair)
** currently observing/student aid for Mr. Howden at Morris High School (As part of Ed 2101, working in 7th grade US history class)
Religious Volunteer work/training
* Peer Ministry Camp (leadership camp, attended one session, dealt with communication skills, peer counseling)
* Sunday School teaching (presented units on culture and fair trade coffee)
* Polar Bear expedition summer camp leader (group leader of elementary school kids)
* Mission trips - Pine Ridge Reservation (day care in SD)
- Chicago (nursing/retirement home volunteer)
3) Experiences that have created a significant impact.
All of the above have had a significant impact on my life and I can easily say I learned a tremendous amount from each of those experiences. However I feel my travel experiences have probably shaped my life and taught me the most about myself. My Mother’s job and love of travel has allowed me to go to many amazing places including Hong Kong/China, Tanzania, and Europe. These experiences have opened me up and instilled in me a love of diversity and culture.
My first major culture shock experience happened at 12 when my Mom brought me along on a study abroad trip through the Lutheran Seminary in St Paul. I spent three and a half weeks tagging along and learning about cultural, political, economic, historical and religious issues in Hong Kong and China. This included visiting government housing (4x4 foot open homes for families of four), as well as hospitals, temples, banks and churches. Upon my return I felt a strong sense of confidence and a deep feeling of humility and guilt, which lead me to feel the need to stand up to my peers when they made euro-centric and racist comments or talked about people who struggle in the world as if it was all their fault. My experiences had taught me that people are beautiful and worthy of respect no matter what their situation (a value, I try my best to maintain) and that it is necessary to stand up for those who could not stand up for themselves.
This initial culture shock was followed up several years later when my Mom took me to Tanzania, where we learned about fish farming, land cultivation, medical and educational problems, and political, social and religious issues. While visiting an elementary school which could barely be described as safe, let alone functional, I wrote a song about how I felt it was impossible to ever forget or hide myself from the struggles that humanity faces, including war, hatred, poverty, ignorance etc.
These experiences strengthened my character and my desire to help. Without them I don’t know that I could have ever provided the support my friends and family have needed and I know that they continually remind me to remain humble and try to support those around me to the best of my abilities.
4) Three areas of significance concerning RA position.
The areas I believe are most important I have already touched on.
1) Community building and support of those around us, is something I think is extremely important for the position whether that is planning activities and trying to get people involved, or making sure they know where they can get the support they need on campus.
2) Developing relationships, sharing, learning and teaching each other.
3) Being a role model. Sometimes without a leader it is hard for a group to function.
I think my former RA Sarah tried her best at these activities and was able to bring about a sense of community and respect for each other that has lasted through the trials of college life, I hope to be able to do the same.
5) Out of comfort zone (learning) experiences.
As already stated I have had significant traveling experience, and so I thought that I was ready to go off on my own at 18 to Europe and backpack (for a month, 6 months, a year, forever? Who knows.) Within hours of landing I realized I was in over my head when I couldn’t find my first hostel and it was raining and I was jet lagged (an experience that seemed to repeat itself all trip). When I finally got there I practically burst into tears (again, no one noticed in the rain). Anyway, the trip continued that way at times, and at times I met wonderful people who changed my life forever. It taught me not to judge and be happy for any scrap of attention anyone would give me. I used to carry around a sign that said "smile" in big letters, passerby’s thought I was trying to bring them good cheer and would offer me money (possibly due to my dirty appearance). The truth was that I was so desperately lonely and depressed from being by myself that I would give anything to see a friendly face, and a smile was like heaven to me (so was chocolate for some reason). Anyway after several months I thought I had it down in Europe and decided I should hop a ferry to Morocco.
Upon entering the city of Tangier, Morocco I felt prepared, I thought I had a place to stay, I thought I knew how to handle merchants and salesmen, swindlers, rip off artists and beggars. I was wrong. A man who posed as a tourist information guide told me the hostel was closed for the winter. He told me he could get a deal at a local hotel for about the same prices and that I shouldn’t worry. He offered me a guided tour which I declined, then told me he was about to be off duty and felt that since his job and life’s work was to make sure tourists enjoyed morocco he wouldn’t mind showing me a few spots in town before I left for one of the larger cities. He offered me lunch at a local spot and insisted that he should pay. He showed me the market, a mosque, a hand woven carpet making factory and several other beautiful cultural spots. Then we returned to the hotel where he had a deal with the owner and walked me into my room. He then proceeded to lock the door, and insisted I pay him for the tour. I was shocked and felt incredibly vulnerable (as he was blocking the door), and I was forced to pay the equivalent of a three days stay at reasonable accommodations in Morocco. What would probably provide a comfortable week or two for a local person. After the event I was traumatized and at some point made up my mind to leave the country the next day.
Several hours later my shock wore off and I started to realize the error of that kind of thinking. To write off a culture, a country, a people by one man’s actions was, I realized, a horrible loss for all. I decided to extend my stay a few extra days, and I decided for every event that made me want to leave I should press on and find two reasons to love Morocco. As part of this I had to remind myself that other cultures have different beliefs, and that sometimes even those strong beliefs can falter due to circumstances. Morocco had been having a drought for over a decade. The tourist industry had dried up due to Sept 11th. The people were noticeably poor and yet by staying I also realized that they were willing to share what they had. Were able to get past their own biases to guide travelers to their destinations and offer them deals on cultural items that they could share when they got home. In this case I realized it was important to have patience and avoid judging without more experience and reflection.
This attitude about the error of judging people before getting to know them was reaffirmed by a situation that happened shortly after. When I returned to the U.S. from Europe and Morocco I was detained at customs for over an hour, given lectures, questioned and treated as a "terrorist" or at least as some sort of defector. My stuff was picked through piece by piece including my clothes, souvenirs and gifts for friends and family, not only that but the mundane, train ticket stubs and receipts in my wallet. I felt incredibly discriminated against and didn’t really understand what had changed in me that I as a U.S. citizen should now be treated so differently. The simple facts were I now had arabic in my passport, owned a copy of the Koran and have a new respect for world cultures. The U.S. customs agents in their haste and concern, decided that I was too risky to treat respectfully, and this incident only enforced my desire to treat others the way I wished I had been treated.
6) Skills and qualities for RA position.
The following are skills and qualities that I have, believe in or try my best to uphold:
Compassion, the ability to be comforting, respectful, desire to meet and include people, ability to connect with others, patience, promotion of diversity and tolerance, ability to voice opinion and be assertive when needed, relaxed personality, giving, creative-artistic, egalitarian, responsible, open minded, desire to have a good time with people... I am strongly against gossiping and try my best to promote respect and understanding in all situations. Also I think it is important to try to keep in mind the serious things in life, avoid risky situations but remember to put things in context and not take everything too seriously.

Thursday, February 03, 2005


Group shot, from left to right. Kristen, nova big T (tony) chris D, his lady, Illy (in front) Steve (in back), Becky, b day boy

the family (james was in LA)

me and zach drak long islands (not pictured)

some cats at my b day, scott is behind his older brother andy, and the chica on the middle left is zach's lady friend

halsey at comedy sports (he was hilarious)

nova. tryign to explain that that "burrito is good" doesnt look it, does it?

kristen and tim, at the seward

elizabeth in her radiance

the girls (wedding night)

for ryan and sarah, hope things are working out, ryan dont get depressed in england, (its gray) and uh this was taken on that night ana got hooked up