Flowings of Your Everlasting Taffyman

Ok so I havent written in a few days right? well Um firstof all I went ot a new hostel, well actually a hotel, which you would think would be nicer but its actually alot more scummy. Thats not really a problem cuz its cheaper, and Michael A and his friends are at a hotel a block away(no vacancies there) Anyways I hung out with them this mornign and maybe later we might get together. They just went to the tower of london which I have seen before and is really expensive, before that we all went to the globe theater along the Thames (a dirty dirty river) and took the tour there which was nice but probably too expensive. I hear paris is expensive too, but london takes the cake, some of the cats im staying with at the hotels, and hostels actually have jobs and cant afford their own flat or dont have anyone to share it with. Uh yesterday I saw buckingham Palace and the park outside of it which is a really nice park. Also I saw the abby and parliament buildings and walked past new scotland yard twice which was kind of intimidating, and i went to an arcade and got some free tickets from a machine and got some candy with it, and sort of attended a high school film class, cuz i was near y while they were doing everything and i listened up. 2 days ago I went to herrods, the marble arch, and figured out the bus system, I got out of central london a bit which was nice. I saw/talked to a woman briefly who reminded me very much of Elizabeth S, which brightened up my day cuz she had the most energy and excitement of anyone I'd seen. By the way I did talk to some people at the last hostel one night and that was really good, but then I left the next day so that wasn't. Um the city is kinda i dunno i get really weird, like one minute im fine the next i have these weird depression anxiety attacks almost Its kinda like the same thing i use to get a couple of years ago only 2 or 3 times a day and not only depression but like fear. I try to tell myself to stop but my mind wanders easily. I think I might start thinking out loud.

So a couple of things I have learned from signs in london.
1. English people love to hump, and when they hump, they hump for yards.
2. "To let" apparently means to like rent or something like "flats to let" but I cant figure it out why
3. "Fowling a path" and "dumping rubbish" seem to be like the biggest worries of any london building owner/ resident.

Hmm some observations of people on the train. English people dont seem to be happy, at least Londoners. They almost never smile, always seem to be by themselves, and seem exhausted tired and kinda well drone like. They dont look at other people, are alone with their own thoughts often, and don't seem to like change anything. Even the people walking in the park didn't seem that happy. Just well more content. Also even though the buildings could be seen as beautiful they're all really cold and depressing.
My back is killing me today, I dont know why.

I have decided I can never live in a major city (especially if they are like this) for one you can't see anything above the buildings.
2 there isnt enough living things (grass trees)
3 Its kind of cold and depressing (at least here, and chicago)
4 I dont know why but i feel claustrophobis alot here.

So at the advice of Mchael A im gonna get over to the mainland soon. Probably right after my grama stops here on the way home from ireland. Before that though I will probably go to Edinburgh, just cuz i have fond memories and a couple of people said its nice to see.

1 more story, I was in st. james park just chillin, (cuz it was cold and i was tired) thats the park across from Buckingham by the way, and I saw this old guy (like 60)walking along with a pigeon on his shoulder. He seemed fine with it and kept walking, I amazed, kept watching him, after about 50 feet some more birds flew up and I was wondering if they too would land on his shoulder. One flew by his head and he got freaked, noticed the bird on his shoulder (apparently he hadn't before) flicked it off, got freaked out in the middle of the path and then walked fastly away checking his shoulder every few seconds. I was laughing my ass off.

hmm so Because of my over all down feelings I am very much looking forward to my brother coming to visit, and like many of you were thinking I will probably cut my trip much shorter than I had originally planned. I guess I just don't have what it takes (for now) This means Gabs I probably wont be around to see ya, but to make it up to ya I will visit you at college or something. HMM its so sad i really wanted to stay longer, I just need more people I know around, I am way too dependent on people. Thats one of the things i was gonna try to cut down on but eh. So I will probably return around my birthday, this is not set in stone if I really like the rest of europe or hook up with some cats or whatever I will of course extend it but eh. Maybe its just the mystery that bothers me like being afraid of the dark. Also I am afraid to spend money, and it keeps me from doing things I might normally do. Hmm so mid Jan probably which is like 3.5 months instead of 12-8 hmm unless i get a job or get hooked up with something or find the south to be really chill and nice a beautiful. But they do also say the first month is the hardest and after that its all good. the backpackers actually make me depressed a bit cuz they seem so pessimistic about things. Just hard working people I guess. Hmm I guess I will talk to yall later i hope everything is going fine back home and yall wont be too dissappointed in me coming back early. Peace and love Taff