Flowings of Your Everlasting Taffyman

I was hoping lex would return, but she is a social girl and i like that about her so...

my mom reports that my rents put my brother on the plane. which triggers another wave of one of my big fears...
(I will explain)

I dont know when this started, i think it got a lot worse when i realized we were responsible for ourselves and such, and saw how reckless my brothers can be... but my mother the counselor would of course point out that i have been mothering my little brother and possibly my older since i was a small lad.

It happens the most when we are driving, all of us in one car, or even worse when we are following eachother.. (and i know i have explained this before) but its one thing i forgot about my last trip... when james came out i suddenly panicked thinking "what if"
what if something happens....
i have my little visionlike things... (overactive imagination) and they rarely come true... but i had one one day in highschool when james was driving me to school (which he didnt do very often) and i think i remember seeing a truck, and i thought about how we would be impaled like in the movies with the metal bars, me staring at him, unable to help while he suffered.
what happens if there is a car crash and they (in the other car) are hurt, and i cant stop...
what happens if the plane doesnt make it.
what happens if while he is here, something happens...

i have few fears i take seriously.... (in comparison to how much i worry)
but this is one thats hard to resist.

so i continue to be my brothers mother.
not that they cant take care of themselves... when i think about it, steve might be able to get a teaching job before i do.
anyway.
fears... nothing is gonna happen
peace and love
taff