This aint no soundtrack to a shipwreck, and you were commenting on how the snow was such a lovely shade of violet

"Smallest Skyline" really is a beautiful song even if it doesn't necessarily make sense. You kind of get it either way.
I kind of feel that way about every TPC song.


I was doing some reading, through archives.
Some thoughts I had:
I write much more clearly than I used to, which isn't saying much because I seem to have always written in slang and using some sort of accent.
I am far too vague in almost every post.
I seem to always be fairly self deprecating and anxious.
I seem to have been much more driven by emotions a few years ago.
I also seemed more innocent (at least this is my reading of it now, I'm sure at the time I thought I was advanced as ever).
I have a bad habit of not giving credit for quotes etc.
Along with general vagueness I also rarely explain the topic, person of interest, etc.
I need to add a lot more color, pictures and videos, but rather than doing them in series as I often do, I need to mix it up. Keep things crazy.
I have linked to a lot of things that no longer exist.
I rarely explained what a link was to, in the past, usually giving it some strange name -not really hinting at anything even closely related.
I seem to have completely different interests/passions right now, in comparison to the past.


This leads me to a few things.

A) Friendships, I don't know what to say about his, but I remember getting a lot out of friendships in the past -as if they were my entire world, and now I feel like they are just part of my world. This relates to
B) I think I have completely forgotten what it is like to be in a relationship. The feeling of having your life firmly involved in anothers'. I no longer spend my days having conversations with anyone in particular in my head.
C) I wonder if these things will return?

-my parents seemed really strange to me when I was young, because they didn't see their friends very often. I always wondered how they were satisfied seeing them once a week or once a month... sometimes we wouldn't hear about a particular friend for years. This seemed strange, because who doesn't have friends?
Later I realized that for many, this need is satisfied by a relationship/a partner.
Still I wondered how they balanced everything...
Now I feel more and more like I understand. (I'm old I guess)


I sometimes wonder where my passion for people went.
Most often I think about this in the context of crushes and things... because I don't get them as often... it used to be that any new person I met would rock my world.... some how between the college and the travels and the work and the relationships I get a lot less thrill out of the everyday joy of meeting and getting to know people. Which saddens me.

Still I see some hope for its return when I reconnect with old friends, or have strange 2 hour conversations with jr high teachers I haven't seen or talked to in 11 years.

So where do I stand?

Just dandy I guess...

Today I wrote a quick poem about gay rights.
A spoken word/hip hop artist presented to a class and I sat in. He asked us to take any topic we were interested in and write about it for a few minutes.
I think school is going better, though I am sick. It has ups and downs, but we are handling it, quicker and with less personal weight.


I have not fallen from a cliff.