books and more

So I just started reading this book Becky gave me. Its a scientific look at Mysticism, I believe attempting to combine both qualitative and quantitative evaluations. It seems the author is just talking to people who have a lot of experience in both religious/spiritual and scientific backgrounds. It also has a lot of discussion of what the author refers to as "entheogens" what we would refer to as hallucinogens.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about this stuff because of the class I'm teaching... and the books I'm reading. I always thought that I would continue my pursuit of spiritual awareness and I do feel i have a really strong but very general background in the subject. Surprisingly it is more academic than first hand. I tend to know a lot more about the history and scholarly studies of religion rather than pursuing the traditions myself. I don't do yoga, I don't pray a thousand or even often times a day. I don't attempt meditative trances or anything. I don't do hallucinogens all that often. I don't do spiritual quests the way I used to. And I don't have any plans to join a meditative center, or a Buddhist retreat, or become part of a community in any tradition.

This makes me sort of uncomfortable when I hear my little brother talk about the spiritual experiences he is having lately. I'm so used to seeing us in a sort of hierarchal fashion with me being more spiritual than my brothers... of course this is bullshit... but its a sort of feeling I have regardless of the thoughts because thats how we grew up (I pursued an interest in this, and they in sports and other things).
Steve is definitely having some awakenings. My mother is worried hes got a mental disorder... and maybe he does, but to me it sounds like the ideas and thoughts and feelings I love to have... and I don't understand why we should tell them that those ideas are wrong. We are worried about him containing them... but maybe we shouldn't work so hard to contain ours.
He talks about seeing god in people, and isn't that the foundation of several religions? Isn't that something beautiful? I hope to see god in all people. That would make me really happy.
One thing I think is interesting, is that in several traditions the role of a spiritual person is to, at times be an outsider. There are traditions that say the mystic must at times act crazy, be irresponsible, be chaotic, disruptive etc etc.. and that during this time their friends and family will reject them. People will look down on them and say they are no good. And during this time the person learns just as much about themselves or the world or god as in any other religious exercise. This period can last decades. Or I assume it can be a day or two that changes the entire way the people around you see you.
We go through these times in our lives when we feel we have no support, we feel crazy, are we crazy? We presume we must be, and some give in, and others pursue further, denying that there is anything wrong. And chances are... both are ok.

But we have a society that likes to pretend that disruption is bad, and change is bad, and differences are bad, and so we have no position for people who are these things... when they are and have been our salvation and the leaders that bring us forward.