Flowings of Your Everlasting Taffyman

Hmm am i unhappy?

somebody (i know who, u dont know who) said something about this week seeming really boring like there was nothing to do. I said to the person, "its been like that all summer."
they said "no it didnt feel like that, cuz"
and then we said at the same time something along the lines of cuz hey was chasing.

Thats a poker term as well, but u know like chasing amy, chasing tail, chasing love. Not that any of those things are the same, more as in you chase them, it gives u something to do, fills ur days with joy and wonderment. I generally think of this as unhealthy, i mean. If its a relationship then ur no longer chasing, but if ur chasing, its just drama. I tend to like to pretend im above that now, but as the days go by i get more and more tired, more sad, more bored and i sort of wish i could do the summer fling thing too. But no, we gonna stay on top of our game and not cause drama too much. tis nice though no?

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My dad seems to talk to me now like hes my pal, sort of like i can come to him with problems, which is nice, cuz its what i been wanting from him for a long time. In fact i asked him to do that when i was 17, its weird how time flies though, i feel like that was yesterday.

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along with that last bit comes this thought i was wondering about, cuz this shit is almost a year in the making i think, err rather this blog has been around for quite a while, and i was wondering if i had grown up at all, or changed, or outgrown or shrunk. Wondering about some sort of progress in life, some sort of new direction or old direction taken a step further. I was going to as part of this read myself some of the shit i wrote then, but uh, well i havent done it yet. i dont really think i have changed at all. Any differing opinions. i'd love to see what people who havent been around think of me now in comparison but i dont know any. or cant get in touch. or something.
sort of self indulgent but isnt it important to see what u have done?
I wonder why its getting harder to notice change in myself, or am i just not changing enough. maybe less costumes? maybe just accustomed to this one so much.
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As part of this weird *unhappy, tired, sad, thing* i havent been think or speaking or writing very clearly, which is pretty bad since im already horrible at it.