Flowings of Your Everlasting Taffyman

I know I said i would stop talking about such things a long time ago... but it is my blog and i do cry when i want to...

I was tempted to go to bed last night really frustrated, the nerve of that person... its nothing new, something rather old now, and a french phrase ripped out of my modern europe book brings it back, and fancy pants or not, I wonder if I would even want to be friends again. Not because things have changed so much, or feelings so different, but that these same thoughts and feelings once had someone else to bounce them off. and that person chose not to be there... why would i want that back?
and she must feel the same, but the nerve to be angry at me, having done nothing wrong, not the betrayer at all for that would require some transgression on my part, and I have committed none. and has she? she seems to say so, and left me to be at fault? I think not...
I think not.

But its my anger isnt it? So I remedy in word and meditation on connection. On the mutual transgression and mutual innocence, on the human condition, on the past and present. Still I find it hard to stay so focused, simple phrases send me soaring. simple memories leave me melting. Simple lack of response sears me, leaves me disappointed, leaves me resentful...
but we are all one, and I am equally resentful for betraying myself to such walls of distinction, equally guilty with such walls of judgement.
Must commit to the positive. Must remember the good in us.