Soulmates, the Pusher man and whatever else

Lacey asked about whether I believe in having one soul mate, and without really considering it I said I think there are millions.

Going on to say that I think soul mates are the connections we are meant to have, but that doesn't necessarily mean they are romantic or even bound to last... time and place and personality get in the way. 

Still, I wait for someone special.

I think the idea of soul mates and other ideals are somewhat disastrous for us. Even if we do find someone we are drawn to, does that mean it will happen? Does that mean it is a good relationship? No no no...  people need to work and work hard at relationships. They have to be responsible and reciprocal and the idea that meeting the right person suddenly makes it all okay hurts us... we get in terribly abusive situations. We wait too long (me) and don't make an effort with the right ones, because we think somewhere that it should be easier.

There is a feminist doctrine that says this idea is pushed on women because it creates a situation in which they will be submissive... and I see that often, not just with women, but more so. 

If they weren't waiting for their knight in shining armor, they might rescue themselves... or find a partner rather than a "hero".

I wonder how this framework fits in with past writings on this subject, it surprised me last night how quickly I said it...   My narcissistic side always thinks that after I die someone will go through this and find special things, thoughts or phrasings that are especially insightful or archive them... but maybe I should stop waiting for my death and the fairytale and do things myself eh?