Watched shooting stars and caught up a bit with the boys. Had an edible which didn't kick in till I was sleeping.
I've been thinking a lot, getting nostalgic, not necessarily for childhood, I'm glad we are grown and moving forward with our lives. Zach's baby is adorable. Pete and Susan will probably have one of their own soon. I'm proud of them. I like who they have become even if I feel a little distant, like a good memory from the past. I'm here as a root, maybe not a branch to the future, but certainly to the past...
But I'm nostalgic for love, warmth, the feeling of giving and receiving. Of enjoying so thoroughly the presence of another person.
This whole week has been full of these kinds of thoughts. Of being happy and proud and wondering about the way forward from here. We never had it figured out and things turned out ok, but somehow I still want assurance of the future. Will the next chapter be as special? As warm and loving or is that a thing of the past, come to fruition and now slowly shedding away with a bit of intoxicating perfume?
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