Chickenshit to Stand

I think my Grampa is dying in the hospital right now about 4 hours away.
Thats what I have been told, through others. I don't know what to say.

I am having very strong selfish (protect) yourself feelings.
I am also having very strong guilt feelings because of that.

I am not sure what else to say.
There are plenty of thoughts.

But mostly I just want a massage.