Flowings of Your Everlasting Taffyman

(its funnz how quickly you lose touch)
i feel really disconnected right now.. im in serajevo and have met lots of cool people and such, but havent had much time to think, and i feel really out of it...
im leaving tomorrow so i will be back to normal hopefully...
its hard. not much time left and a lot to do.. but im losing sight of what i care about and whats fun... and more just going with it...
and it hasnt been bad... but i wonder if im actually enjoying myself or slowly losing myself...
hard to explain.

this whole war thing is hard to deal with too.. so many different sides and perspectives and its hard to know what to believe... maybe all of it.. maybe its supposed to be confusing.
so much of me is ready to be out of here, to find some salvation... but where is that?
first on to belgrade more war... im not going to go to prishtina.
so from there to istanbul to meet rachel.

its funny this place seems to be the first time i have really gotten that eastern europe crazyness that i was seeking... and i find it sort of like being drunk... out of control... and when you are feeling it it seems nice it seems good, but the moment you have some air, you feel like you have been betraying yourself or something...
this is all too abstract and im sorry... needless to say im getting some fresh air right now and i miss people. and i wonder if the time spent with all these travel buddies is indeed what i was ever in search of at all. (specifically serajevo)
this is not to say they arent great.. beautiful conversations and such... but its april 16th its easter... (my loved ones are all scattered or at home) and im missing them and feeling disconnected.
what am i doing in Bosnia?
why am i still running when i have found what i want?


month and a half

this isnt a traverl blog its a blog for venting