Flowings of Your Everlasting Taffyman

Im gonna try harder to be me again. Some people may not be happy with that, hopefully most will. Im sick of feeling guilty, im sick of feeling like a a failure. I should and will be happy right now. I can and will.


I wrote Henry my counselor from last semester. I wrote how I need to learn boundaries, but how I dont want to. I dont want to give up on people, I dont want to give up on myself and admit I have limits (in certain areas)

Today I climbed a mountain (big hill) tomorrow I will climb another, Im rededicating myself to things that are important for the people who are important to me. I know I have said this shit a lot lately, but right now I got to again, cuz im determined. I need yall to know you are important to me, and I need something from yall, I need ya to not just accept, but push, I can be better than this. I can be better to you (and please ask) I can be better to myself (so please demand) I can be better for the future and the past. I can be more committed, more serious or more funny. I can admit I care more, I can admit Im vulnerable to yall. What I need though is three things, (i know it used to be two)
1) take care of yourself or at least try, strive to be a better person. Its important, even though I will forever love you for caring about or loving or seeing others as better, you wont be able to help or share that with them unless you are ok. So be ok, in fact be the beautiful person you are and share it with them!
2) thats two obviously, take care of others, always want to help, always love, always strive to be a better person. If you notice you arent being good to someone, make yourself better, for you and them. Encourage support love
3)and this applies to me mostly but it can apply to others as well. I need yall to hold me to standards, I need ya to stand up for yourselves against me, I need ya to want me to be better, and to encourage me in that, be understanding, but not for too long. Im a resilient bastard all get over it, push a brother with love.


today I climbed a big fucking hill, tomorrow i'll climb another.




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I would like to apologize to everyone, but let me throw some of these out there.
My parents, my brothers and sisters, Alexis, Illy, Gabs, Hollie, aimee, pete, zach, mike the rock, bronchi and molly, krystin and melissa, serrah, corina and alexis' friends and maybe her brother, 3 and 4B eagan and laurel, mike the rock and alicia, t roy, tom, jason, foulkes, sarah f, luke h, ashley e, nikki b, nona and tim, so many. All of yall have been particularly helpful and beautiful and amazing and im sorry I cannae repay ya the time the love and support, Know I will try (even though most of yall cats will never see this, and some of yall have given up on me completly. Some of the cats on this list, is cats I have failed, Im gonna keep that in mind and keep trying.
I aint giving up this aint like a suicide note or anything but its really hard to sit here wondering how cats dont know I care. So I wanna make sure people from now on do.
peace and love -taff