Flowings of Your Everlasting Taffyman

like 5 things or so that will make no sense to u the reader but thats coo.

so i both had an amazing and really shitty night. this is a good thing.

since my chat with Gabs before she left, i have been trying to be more honest in my needs and be more forward in what i can and cannot give people, someone called me out on that, im really unsure of where to go with it, i really tried to make the person see, but the truth is they are right and im just afraid. i think i ended up kind of mentioning that but they may not remember it in the morning.

third since a little before that chat with Gabs last week i have felt really, um scared by the fact that so many people view me as their "cure all", and i know that is my fault, but im afraid of being stuck in that and not knowing what to do, and i really dont, so yeah.

hmm i feel really bad for my dog.

I feel really bad for my mom, we all have too much pride, and busy lives, its her birthday tomorrow and we skipped out of mothersday and we have nothing planned for tomorrow either. we are shitty children, but we all try our bests to be good people.

Mr. A was at the mall today buying gifts for himself for his 52 birthday, and it was really nice to talk to him, he was telling me all about his kid, and he had that look about him where you know hes telling the truth about the fact his kid makes the wolrd for him. i want tobe that kind of parent. Mike F and i had a really interesting chat about children too. Its been hrd for me to drop my guard with him considering our pasts, but the truth is hes a great guy.

some nights you never want to end, so u make plans to wake up early and go to breakfast, these our dreams. Hangovers and apathy the reality. But as foulkes and I were saying earlier even fucked up dreams are nice.


I still feel a mix of shit and happiness, and its really nice to feel. and im very very worried, but everyone has passed out so i can go home for the night. (meaning to bed since im already home) (this is a note to myself in the future, cuz that way i wont be confused about when i wrote this.)