I woke up at five and haven't been able to sleep. Do you remember this? The not quite excitement not quite anxiety...
I'm feeling overwhelmed with the idea that I can't please everyone, and also that I am never satisfied. It used to mean adding more productive things to my plate. These last years, it's meant subtracting them. But I can't find my car keys, and my room is too small to contain the ever growing amount of stuff. And I need more in order to be a human on this planet. And I'm caught again in the web of my actions being unethical - spending money I don't have on things I shouldn't have.
I think I am scared that I won't like the social work gigs. That I won't have any free time to be human, cuz I'll be my role again.
And people keep asking about my haircut. Significant.
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