Things were not assured until I held her.
Then all of a sudden a rush of confidence, that felt like the world uniting, all in her touch.
I don't remember being afraid anymore, each thought, memory, relationship was all the more reason to love her.
I wanted to explore them with her. For as long as I had her, I had enough. I had won.
We started watching the tv screen, me wrapped around her. Each video was of the life I had missed before our unification. She explained the circumstances, the feelings, the loss, the joy and I felt them through her.
Suddenly as often is the case the dream moved forward in time, and we were no longer alone. These friends of hers, once distant now became a mass of chaos around us.
Our place suddenly overwhelmed with a loud and raging party, spilled beer, bumping and laughter. I was distracted but just wanted to keep contact with her. If I kept contact things would be alright, that was my only thought.
Then suddenly the party grew again, her friends were offering my students drinks, and I felt powerless to stop them, just hold on, but she needed to attend to her friends, to the party, to keep them from destroying everything, to keep them happy. She got up and my loneliness returned, my insecurity my worries. She returned again, excitement, joy, she left, ugliness, returned heaven, left despair, and it went on this way, each time she returned it was for less and less time.
Then all of a sudden a rush of confidence, that felt like the world uniting, all in her touch.
I don't remember being afraid anymore, each thought, memory, relationship was all the more reason to love her.
I wanted to explore them with her. For as long as I had her, I had enough. I had won.
We started watching the tv screen, me wrapped around her. Each video was of the life I had missed before our unification. She explained the circumstances, the feelings, the loss, the joy and I felt them through her.
Suddenly as often is the case the dream moved forward in time, and we were no longer alone. These friends of hers, once distant now became a mass of chaos around us.
Our place suddenly overwhelmed with a loud and raging party, spilled beer, bumping and laughter. I was distracted but just wanted to keep contact with her. If I kept contact things would be alright, that was my only thought.
Then suddenly the party grew again, her friends were offering my students drinks, and I felt powerless to stop them, just hold on, but she needed to attend to her friends, to the party, to keep them from destroying everything, to keep them happy. She got up and my loneliness returned, my insecurity my worries. She returned again, excitement, joy, she left, ugliness, returned heaven, left despair, and it went on this way, each time she returned it was for less and less time.
Till suddenly surrounded by others I was alone again.
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