Got about three months left of Grad School, still feels a bit long. I am more worried about ending my internship. I like the place so much, plus I have some clients I don't want to get rid of so quick -for their own good. The hard thing is that I still want to take on clients, even though I don't have the time or skill to handle them. Too much trauma there, sorry. Too much drama there, sorry. Too simple, kind of boring, sorry. Plus I want to keep the relationships with counselors. It would be easiest, if I could just transition into a job super easy with hours and supervision and a little volunteering on the side.
Also friends, and writing, and family, and a girlfriend?
Two years in grad school plus a year at MCTC lead to nothing in that regard.
I did make friends though. I don't know who will last. I like having K and T in my circle. I'd like to include a few other people from school who have interesting ideas, ask questions or challenge my assumptions. I am pretty sick of the professors. They are all nice enough, but fuck em.
I don't know how I will incorporate teaching and counseling into my schedule. Like if I get a counseling type job then maybe I should volunteer for ESL at night. If I get a more mixed job, maybe I should volunteer at Wicc. If I don't get a job, I can write and do both, wouldn't that be amazing? Maybe that's what I'd spend my billions on. Actually I'd probably start another Wicc, with a few paid staff.
Or maybe a free school, a drop in center with great classes, a combo of the above, with groups!
And a home. And some travel yearly.
I am at the Northloop Spyhouse. it feels very different. Kinda chic, techno music and tile floor, kinda european, makes me wanna travel, i've been thinking a lot about Argentina and Chile lately, how much I loved them. How nice it was to travel with J. How wonderfully different they were from the Andean countries.
It feels like spring, though the weather is cold. Flowers are pollenating and it is headachy.
A few days separation from M allowed me the headspace to remember that we are very different, that I don't actually know her that well, that there is nothing promised. Then I randomly ran into her at the co-op and I was like, "damn, I'd drop my afternoon if I could." I didn't feel it that strongly, but there was a thought.
Thats what I want to have again.
Gonna go conquer the world.
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