Flowings of Your Everlasting Taffyman

Weeks ago I couldn't sleep, so as I often do I started to imagine different possibilities for my life and the world. The desire I had was to become some sort of spiritual teacher, knowing full well it was fake, but knowing enough about spirituality and psychology and showmanship, that I would be helping people regardless because all they really need is for someone to care right? Tonight I watched Kumare. 

I'm really lonely in a way that seems different than in the past. I am hanging out with people every day, I am doing things I enjoy, I am preparing for the future. But everything feels fake.  Like this isn't my real life, this is me pretending to do the things I am supposed to do.  I am supposed to be in love, on an adventure and starting a family. Where is that? 

I have more thoughts but fuck it.  I hope you are well.