Sunday, April 24, 2011

Well I went to a movie today, did laundry and finished two books that I'd been meaning to get to.

The first was A Different Mirror by Ronald Takaki

****** Interruption*********

Well some people got mugged outside my house, so I had to stop writing and call the police and offer them a spot to rest for a bit. They are still here but I feel weird watching them wait for their parents. Makes me realize how vulnerable you are when you don't have a phone or keys or a wallet.
******End of interruption****

Anyway back to something far less interesting...
so I finished that book, which I had been reading on and off for about a year.
I found it to be a wonderful read, great insights and depth into a range of topics in US history that I often only have a shallow understanding of.

So then I still had like 30 minutes left on my 6 load of laundry, so I started reading the Hidden Teachings of Jesus, which I had stopped for a bit because I got a little turned off from it. It started great, got a little weird for me, and ended sort of in-between. It is a very challenging read to any mainstream Christian, but at times an even more challenging read to westerners/atheists etc.

The whole book is about love, mercy, compassion etc... but at different times the author criticizes environmentalists, democracy and socialism, even charity work is sometimes questioned.
The point according to the author is to live into the spirit of Christ, the spirit of the Kingdom of God... which is anti-material world (kind of like Buddhism) and anti human kingdoms.  If we are to be un-judging, selfless, forgiving and of God, we most transcend and give up our human rules, politics, hierarchies and even our modesty.

I guess the hardest parts for me is when the author criticizes all of these ideas that I and most of tend to think are great... but later he sort of clarifies that it isn't that they are bad, just misleading. According to the author, though they bring about good things, they misunderstand the importance, or the direction they should go in.
For instance he says that the world is created with abundance so it is faulty to spend your time trying to save the planet, when what is really needed is to recognize and stop the over-consumption and greed that cause environmental disasters. He believes that these cannot be stopped through better and better technology but must be stopped through spiritual practices such as taking vows of poverty (like monks)... if the culture pushed poverty, rather than over-consumption we would see that all people are fed enough (not some too much and others too little).

In many ways I find these arguments convincing. When Pete asked me what I wanted to do with Spirit of Truth to change the world I said, I want to change the culture to one that loves... I want people to buy into the spirit of love and truth and good, rather than all the other things...
but does buying into this spirit mean giving up on politics and directly changing peoples lives (as the author seems to think is necessary?)

I guess I will get to think about that some more.
One thing I did appreciate is that it really calls out my shallow side.

While reading I started thinking about how shallow I am. Both when it comes to me and when it comes to others. I am very very into looks (even if I don't always show it). The author at one point talks about the trouble with sensory stimuli, emotions, etc... they cause us to judge. I like the way this looks, I don't like the way this looks, this music stirs me, this music doesn't.... he warns us that judging is the role of God and no one else... but I am such a creature of sensation. I love to look at people, and when I feel good everyone looks good, but when I feel bad oh I am the worst judge.

I worry that I have become too desirous of beauty... it is a symptom they say of voyeurs like me, that they become shallow about what they consider beautiful. Have I?   yes  I think...   and it plays into all the doubts about myself as well.

I also thought of the importance of pilgrimage and wondered if maybe I should go on a walkabout. Let my hair become snarled and wear the same clothes day in day out. Keep with me only holy words, and see only holy visions. Maybe one day be a prophet (tempted to rhyme here)...

The other day I started considering not ever having children... which is something that makes me sort of sad... but also I feel like I would never have enough time or energy or patience or money.

Explosions in the Sky is amazing says nova and I agree.

 I saw a picture of Alexis tonight, overwhelmed with the notion, I love her sense of possibility.

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