Flowings of Your Everlasting Taffyman

I think its funny how things like loneliness, horniness and general desire for a relationship seem to sneak up so easily and then when they pounce its like there isn't much to convince you that you shouldn't feel that way.
Though the feeling doesn't last, when its there its fucking awful.
Its like being hungry or thirsty and not being about to satisfy it.
drives a person crazy.

The insecurity makes me jealous makes me lonely
The Loneliness makes me insecure makes me jealous
The jealousy makes me lonely makes me insecure
The insecurity makes me lonely makes me jealous
The jealousy makes me insecure makes me lonely
The loneliness makes me jealous makes me insecure


I just think its funny, my weeks are full of visits with friends and family, people I have met recently and people I met long ago. Yet for some reason, my head makes up these scenarios in which everyone around me is finding something more special. Its really sick and makes me feel uncomfortable (that feeling of wanting, when you already have so much, just greedy right?),
but I can't spin it right. I have been going to bed early, alone and crabby.

Yesterday someone mentioned something about how to maintain differing rates of dating people... like if you are dating more than one person (none exclusively) how do you know what you should do? Its hard for me to imagine it being so easy to even find people.

More and more lately I keep coming back to that idea am I really waiting for the right person, or am I just not willing to put forth the effort to make the right situation.
Its really hard to know what one should do when things haven't been all that successful.

I don't have the time or energy to commit to something that isn't going anywhere. I don't want to put myself or anyone else through that. I have enough pressure on existing relationships without that added stress (just the fact that I see it as stress and not a benefit).

Its all really stupid.