monkeys r us

I dont really know what to say, im sort of weird right now, but uh i should say what i been up to. So lets see its been almost a week. Last friday night we went to st. cloud to see nick howard and that was cool. Got to see some of his art work, even talked politics and revolution for a bit. that night me and becky watched a movie, and chilled.

The next day i saw gabs and elizabeth which was really nice, but i sort of felt like i was being a little bit mean and depressing and too talkative. They seemed like they had fun, are doing stuff with their lives and shit. nice to hear from em. that night me and becky went out to eat and watched some more movies. it was valentines and i had gotten her some stuff, including flowers where i met a really interesting lady. she stressed individuality. I figure i got that in my bag already or if not then at least been through it.

sunday i went out to lunch with chris d who seems to be getting his life together one day at a time but doing better. it was nice to talk to him though we didnt have much to say.

tonight we saw the vagina monologues a nice entertaining way to hear and see some of the stuff we talk about in my women studies class twice a week. becky had a hard time with some of it.

Kristen played and it was wonderful, though didnt sound the same, she was singing mostly higher pitched songs. really amazing, i was smiling a big ass grin. i couldnt tell which songs were her's, i thought the last one sounded like a song tim wrote many years ago. she was really funny, and the crowd loved her. its so nice to see her do stuff like that, its beautiful, its the stuff i've been wanting her to do for years and she seemed excited to do it, so thats really great.

its been a really weird day. discussing violence and horrible crimes, and hearing some good and some horrible stories, even though i have heard them before (read the book twice)

hmmm i still dont know what this feeling is, a seriousness and a sadness. knowing and wishing for better

I often have things i want to talk about but lack the excitement or whatever to do it. this is a problem. I like being a chill person, being comfortable, being relaxed and forgiving when necessary, but i do not like the other side of that at all. No energy, no explosions of feeling. rants but not as often as should be

there is a video game character with the same name as me, so i will never be famous. if u look up my name u get video games.

we're all in the bathtub now making bathtub gin

i been reading michael moores dude wheres my country, its a little bit more boring and repetitive then im used to from him but it seems with many authors stories end up sounding alike.

Im purposefully not doing my reading right now...

hey u wanna hear something mean i did? well helped to do. so there is this cool cat named troy on my floor, but troy is a bit of a nerd and actually hes quite selective of who he will date, meanin he hasnt had a lady yet, until this week. So they are in there and as we casually pass by his door (its just slightly open) the lights are off, the smooth music is in the air, and we hear what sounds like um me making out with my arm. so anyway we all start laughing, and then i remember the reason i bought that orgasm key chain (it makes noises like a woman having an orgasm) and we decide to attach it to his door and hit the button. Then we run and hide, cuz we are little kids and its like 2 am, and we are being stupid. anyway after hiding from troy for like 20 mins and letting him cool down, i finally tell troy it was me, and then we play halo together. Yeah thats anti climatic.

uh lets see what else, to ills and aimee, i hope this lauren thing is getting better. es a hard life sometimes.

pig tails are the ultimate hair do.

valentines is coming up, we are gonna go see nick (dj how odd) howard on friday, we use to write poetry together and he drew me cool pictures on my yearbooks. kids mad cool so hopefully tings will be aight.

hold me closer tiny dancer

and if u feel the way i do sugar, come on come on, lets get it on...

i highly recommend yahoo launch for all ur music computer listening needs

tim mentioned a little while ago that all those mp3.com sites are dead and will never live again, so i will probably change that eventually

its discussion day, i skipped two of my classes and uh we may be going to planned parenthood later, (no reason, just fun) yeah thas right we get bored

ever wake up at like the end of a night? this keeps happening, due i assume to the 2 hours of sleep i get each night, i keep falling asleep at like 5-6 and waking up later.
tonight it was like 6, meaning i missed the battle of the bands, dinner, lap dance lessons, and a host of other shit before i woke up at 2:30 when everyone was either passing out or about to go watch a boring movie. This sucks. plus im fairly sure i was crabby to becky, and now shes probably mad, considering i was spose to do half that stuff with her. So yeah...

tomorrow i get to wake up at 9 again instead of a normal saturday hour so i can go to some stupid retreat thing and learn how to do a service learning project. wow. i didnt have dinner. nothing is open. i have little to no food.
i wish i could go back to sleep but it was one of those "wake up cuz ur done sleeping" things

I want to have arguments with several of my teachers...

Cody is in the house. (he broke his ankle, and uh well jumping down the stairs is not cool.

im in a girls room, three chicas and a cody, sitting around gossiping.

hmmm. things been kind of slow. becky is in a philosophy class and she was asking me about some god related stuff. um we had a big religious conversation last night. like 6 people and a couple watching. ummm morris is not the pot capital of minnesota. morris is too small we will be bored this weekend.

a few days ago i burned myself on the floor lounge (while making a pizza) a min ago i hit that exact spot on the edge of the desk. I think something is trying to tell me i should cut off my arm.

my mother has been making a big deal out of calling her for like a week now. I finally get a hold of her and she tells me shit she could have said in an e mail easy.

Food service got a d- tonight. It was shite mate.

i gotta do my homework, shower get out of this pissy mood.

Aimee said something about wanting me to write that she had forgiven me for being an asshole or something, but i fell asleep before writing another post and then couldnt remember exactly what the quote she would have had me write was...

i wanna sing in the shower, but eh damien rice is too quiet, slow paced, and thats what we're listening to right now....



"somethings in life may change and somethings stay the same......like time"

And the king is in his court, counting all his diamonds, one by one they do fall... all powerful giants and their persuasion doesnt change the laws of gravity. Spend their time resting by rivers and finding alternative methods through meditation and I think I should too. Seeking, chasing as they say, calling out for a card to complete the set. Infinite space and exploration can start in a desk drawer, closet cases, the apathetic call it mind disgracing. Simple thoughts answers and questions, comments on existence yours mine I ME MY YOU seem cold tonight. You seem wanting. I seem departing and with it i think of subtle visions of jungles and swinging, open doors and find the same cold interiors made by the constant wind and the open windows, we could and should and would but we choose to keep open or maybe its our experiences and advisors. Short jokes comment on possibilities we never took. I seem in need of revolution, i seem in need cuz i feel satisfied.

(this hasnt anything to do with anyone but myself, no worries mate)

I got a big mouth, still i never say whats important.

"You see 'cause that stone fell through my pocket
and that lock of hair flew away with the wind
If you chance to meet upon either
well you know where they've been
but don't pick them up or try to find me
they're much happier to be on their own
beauty like that knows no home
and then if you take a look, a look down the road
you'll see a badger and a one eyed toad
they won't say a word they'll just look at you
with that wise look of the old"


I have become somewhat bitter and i suck, someone should knock me down. This political shit especially been getting to me. I wonder how such intelligent influential people can sit and do nothing or worse do what they know to be wrong.

"Halls worn capturing the doubt" (i think)


hmm the days are long now that the cold has taken over and some of us feel like convincing random strangers that the world is overflowing and time is captured in moments no longer than the nail on your pinky finger but this is all subordinate to the ideal of space growing and that universe better keep expanding cuz our egos need room for prancing dancing cosmic whirl pools gathering in motion almost overflowing so chance to stop it with a notion that the great balloon can collapse, and when it does there may not be a relapse

fuckin around u know, i dont know what to tell ya, the weekend is pretty empty. the democratic shit starts manana, and my older brother and several others are on he verge of collapsing. Sad all these people put in so much effort and gain really nothing. Still they say its better to try.

reinforce everything...

We as a floor said goodbye to several cats last semester and though i've seen some around the campus its hard to keep from mentioning the impact on our lives, simple stories in remembrance.

Half the Vacancy filled by three new cats. Cody maxine and john. All quite different, adds to the atmosphere. Nice to meet new cats and such.

Its good to be back, sleeping reading getting to know somebody and rockin out in the showers with a suitable audience few feet of concrete away.

the dr at health services pushes pills like i push candy. Told me to ease up on the caffeine. I crack one open as i write.
Its just nice to see the personalities.

My classes seem to be mon w f 9th grade civics with emphasis on newspaper coverage of politics. repeated sociology by a teacher im not impressed with. then history i already know.

tuesday thursday i hav women studies the only male in a class of thirty plus. and i dropped first aid so i wouldnt have to wake up so early.

becky seems to be cool with some of her classes. happy about spanish and philosophy, good times, shes studying up on the religion and its fun to talk to her about it. hmm thinking i need better food and a better attitude on exercise.

thinking about my friends at their respective places, hoping they doin ok.

Hi im here with lots of time and no rhyme



no thoughts and a slight need for past remembrances upon this eve of the eve of a leaving.

my being goes out to you, all of you, but dont be shy to personalize.




I wonder how people comment on me to others in their lives. like past friends, i tell about everyone how could i not? and i expect u do too, so how do we describe eachother?

bowling
we went bowling, i fucked it up. mas cats and a time limit. Curtesy of morgana

Food
the chef at morgans work is obviously too cool for us. and hes even royalty.

photos
its a hard arrangement and the girl hooks me up but then i back down. and living conditions dont improve none, still surrounded by cameras. Natasha never answers her phone.

car
its cold out, why would anyone want to look at a car tonight?
I was supposed to take it to the car place, but slept in. Grants cousin or uncle or something Tom whos a pretty nice guy is coming over.

Some recent events show me: since the only reason to be pissed off in the first place is cuz ur concerned (meaning love) why act pissed? only strains the relationship more. Concern is a noble sentiment. show the person u love them.

yo yo yo.... it's becky. mike's showerin. i gotta say, i've had a lovely time meeting all of mike's friends over break. i kinda don't want to go back to school now cuz i had so much fun, but i kinda do, ya know? it's weird though, because i haven't even known you guys for long but i'm still sad that i'm leavin, probly because yous guys are so fuckin cool and friendly. anyway, i hope you have fun back at school and have a good semester and what not. i'll see yall tonight, we're going to applebees for mike's birthday! and remember, you are the ones who are the ballickers, ya crazy scalliwags. keep in touch, call us at morris, we'll be bored.

my comp game today (im excited but i dont like have time to play)


as we were leaving for sledding petes mom yelled "be careful!" I thought that was hilarious.


wild game on tonight and it doesnt appeal


I think were doing morgan's hotel party for new years.


Atmosphere has a video seemingly in heavy rotation on mtv2 it was weird like 3 times in 2 hours. Its kinda interesting. Apparently this last cd has come out on epitaph with the rhymesayers label so maybe warp tour ?

im still really sick. I was thinkign ti was a good thing i got sick during the time i was gone, cuz i wasnt gonna get to see anyone anyway but now that im back and feel just as sick its not very fun to miss great adventures with friends.
I feel real bad for Aimee cuz she was all excited to get people to go to the big wu show and now it doesnt seem like anyone is goin. (im way too sick) I did want to go though. Just wouldnt be smart.

I think im gonna go to the doc manana.

I was supposed to shave after first semester and i still think i will before second but i really havent had the energy. its been the same way with certain presents i was planning on making. I had at least three ideas for cool art things to make for becky but i cant get myself to even lift a marker right now.

Last night i was feeling better (after sleeping all day, and taking a bunch of medicine) we went out to find food (couldnt find any) went to the last samurai at edina. Good movie, a little long, lots of cool history stuff. It struck me as having a very similar plot to dances with wolves (a movie im quite fond of)

Im seriously thinking about taking some more meds, cuz this shit hasnt kicked in yet.

I havent had much of an apetite. I think i will go eat some soup now, but like half way through i just cant keep eating.

I have been having a lot of stomach problems too. maybe i have an ulcer. I think my hypochondriac-ness might actually be correct with some of this shit.

i sort of miss my friends, even though its only been a few days. I also have this weird longing for that freedom and comfort of school. Im amazed how quickly i got set up there. My room is still bare practically but sometimes i feel connected to the cats. (sometimes)

Me and becky were discussing how there isnt really a whole lot of deep conversation goin on. I sort of hope we dont get a tv again (the last one moved out) but the dvds and cd playing capability is nice.

sorry this sint very interesting, hearing me bitch and moan and such, maybein the future i shall have something to say.