moving forward

Last week my therapist said I needed to come up with something to keep momentum, keep moving forward, some sort of project or new thing, otherwise he assumed and I assume that I would get stuck again.

A friend of mine decided to buy a house, and sent me some listings for condos and stuff, so I started wondering about that. But it feels a little like buying something just to buy, even though it might be the best time to pull money out of stocks and put it into something more secure. The only condos I've even looked at are near eat street. I'm not sure if I am ready for that. Plus, my mom mentioned condos usually have fees and to make sure I didn't end up spending 1000 on a mortgage plus 500 more on fees. 

Other people say get a cat. 

Some part of me just wants to play computer games on the weekends, devolve into a child. 

I keep thinking about my book, and how it would be good to get back to writing. At the same time, I am falling behind on paperwork for work, so maybe I am not in the mood for writing. 

I think I had envisioned joining some sort of club or something, something social. 

I keep hoping to find a partner or a crush to get me motivated. 

We went to a massive park with my niece this morning, I took a nap all afternoon. 

M went up north, presumably with the kids and her boy - life just keeps moving forward, whether you are in it or not. (My reaction was a mixture of heat, envy, jealousy, defensiveness, grief, longing, anger, a drain in energy). I liked that she was action oriented, I needed that in my life (could use some now). From pictures and comments it is so easy to assume people are happy, but people don't suddenly grow more mature, so I have to assume there are a lot of insecurities and anxieties under the surface -and then again, I don't have to assume anything, because it doesn't matter. 

I take a long time to get over people... this is the problem with loving deeply.

Watching a lot of Jane the Virgin and Kitchen Nightmares this weekend.

I am expecting a computer to get delivered to me this week, and even the idea of a computer getting delivered is giving me anxiety (as in, what if they break it or it gets stolen).

Might see Dad for dinner this week.

Might see a peer from grad school.

Not sure what else yet.  Gonna do some reading, maybe get some work done today. Eat some veggies.