Sunday, May 31, 2026

With nothing to show

 I miss the feeling of returning home from a trip with a partner. Miss switching off at a bathroom sink. Miss cuddling. Miss kissing a neck. Miss having someone to make dinner for. Miss putting my clothes away so they’re not in the way… companionship. 

It was a lonelier weekend than I’d anticipated. I think because I was writing so much, and the character I am writing is a bit of a lover. His wife has just come home, and he is torn between his way of being in the world and his way of tending to her. 

I don’t want to be codependent, but I’d like to be part of something. 

Mostly just did chores errands and read and wrote today. Still some brainstorming I want to do. 

It was rainy and I didn’t have anywhere to go or be… so it’s been another day that will slink on by.   

I wonder if I’ll regret all these years alone. I don’t know what else id have done.  If e and i had a baby she’d be 3ish?

I am craving love.  Probably settle for lust

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