I miss the feeling of returning home from a trip with a partner. Miss switching off at a bathroom sink. Miss cuddling. Miss kissing a neck. Miss having someone to make dinner for. Miss putting my clothes away so they’re not in the way… companionship.
It was a lonelier weekend than I’d anticipated. I think because I was writing so much, and the character I am writing is a bit of a lover. His wife has just come home, and he is torn between his way of being in the world and his way of tending to her.
I don’t want to be codependent, but I’d like to be part of something.
Mostly just did chores errands and read and wrote today. Still some brainstorming I want to do.
It was rainy and I didn’t have anywhere to go or be… so it’s been another day that will slink on by.
I wonder if I’ll regret all these years alone. I don’t know what else id have done. If e and i had a baby she’d be 3ish?
I am craving love. Probably settle for lust
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