To old friends

 I just looked at statcounter, which I probably do a handful of times a year. And saw someone reading stuff from 2002-2003, and I went back and looked at some of that and it was so embarrassing and cringe.  So I am sorry to whichever old friend of mine stumbled onto this. I hope I didn’t say anything mean… Z? P?

I often wonder what people would think. I sometimes wonder if people will find this when I die. Someone will remind people and it will come out, and folks will have second hand embarrassment for my dead ass. 

I’m sure there are valuable insights into who I am/was, and that maybe the folks who love me will give me the benefit of the doubt, but I think the thing that is causing me to cringe is that the  version of me whoever that person saw was 18-19 and though I’m not exactly ashamed of who I was now, it does come from an era in which I was pretty ashamed of who I was… and just wrestling with who I am, and how I fit in, and learning these things for the first time instead of the millionth time. 

Does that make sense? I was a kid. There are years of stuff that would come out if I was ever in politics or something that would not look good in today’s society. Including the opening post that person found. So I’m sorry to my friends and family for the past, and the future. Good luck if you’re reading this.