Vibes and co-regulating.

In my day job, a main role is that I need to stay in a calm - positive state, and pull anxious depressed kids up -or rather help them see that they don't need to be in the low vibe state.
The tricks and tools I use with them, are things I have to constantly apply to myself, and it is actually incredibly helpful to have the reminder. It's a role, that reminds me to be better to myself.

It feels weird though when I am then in a place where I can offer this same knowledge to others, as if I am therapizing them, when really I am just applying the same shit I am trying to practice.

Nicola says there is a difference between relationships that are comforting and those that make you happy. I don't think I know the difference most of the time in romantic relationships, and often even in friendships. What is happiness after all? Is it not a goal?  Is it not a process that at times means being unhappy?

But I was thinking that I spent 2.5 hours yesterday with a friend who is experiencing some low vibes, and that it worried me, made me feel like I wasn't sure if I was strong enough to resist getting sucked in.  I think I did a good job. I think I had a good time. I wasn't eager to run away. I was present when I could be.  And it felt good to see my friend relax a bit during the encounter. I wasn't "playing" a role, but I was utilizing the skills of that role.

I wonder if I seek out people who offer me that opportunity, not just because it feels "good" to "help" but also because it reminds me to be helpful to myself. I highly value honesty, authenticity, integrity, so when I tell someone else to do something, or ask if they are, I know I have to model it myself... and it makes me a better person by wanting to help others be their better selves.









So much of this life is just totally unnatural.

Never in the history of humans have we practiced social distancing to this extent in crisis. Yes, we often have isolated others, but never all of us at once. Plague cities might close up their walls, but inside the people were together. It's totally unnatural to humans to have this much isolation.
So many thoughts, not enough time.




Meditation for today,  "I expect and accept abundance to flow easily to me."