Its Febrero, some folks hate this month cuz its cold and dull. But I like that it is short, a slightly easier step, like "hey, take it easy. I know it's hard." It's James' birthday month, not that we are great at celebrating him.
It's the second week of the tyrant's 2025 project. They aren't trying to hide that anymore. I am not angry this morning, so I won't get too far into that. I am more like... how do we celebrate humanity and creation?
I am likely gonna go to a protest today in South Minneapolis. I wanted to write, but my brain isn't awake enough yet, and even though I like going to coffee shops (I am at spy house right now), it feels a bit too loud and lively -Can't hear my own thoughts that well. Maybe I should trust the muse and let it take me, just spit out words until something new is created.
Its a month of making decisions and following through. I am going to find an office and start the private practice. I am going to keep writing. I am going to pray with my feet when given easy opportunities. I am going to post stuff if I need to. I am going to invest in myself and others.
What does that really mean? I don't know, but I don't want to get bogged down too much. I want to trust that I will make the most of whatever comes, and I am a little sick of being in the hanged man position... ready for some fool energy. I think having a next step, even if it isn't perfect will improve my mindset and help me invest in things.
So this month, what do we got... a new community ed class with Gabi on wednesdays... potential office spaces to sign up for... Folks to prepare and either bring over or let go... some contracts to sign - to get credentialed.
So the deal with the offices so far:
A) there is a building over by 280 St. Anthony Park neighborhood of St. Paul, that is being redone to make therapy offices. I went and visited it on Thursday and its really under construction right now, so it's hard to fully see the vision of the place. But I like the idea of it. I like the location, a change, something new. I like the idea of being around a bunch of other professionals, built in capacity for consultation, new people, many who are already running private practices (mentors?). It feels like a great concept, the only problem (as far as I've seen), ok maybe two problems... one - costs, but when I have looked at other spaces in minneapolis area it feels comparable, so two - I don't like that the air ducts are so prominent in the spaces with windows... I think because it is an empty space they stand out, and that likely won't be that big of a deal once there is furniture and decorations, but right now, they seem kind of in your face. I like the modernized industrial look, but it's a little much when there is nothing else to look at. So I need to get creative with how to use it. I think that's the key. But it also gives me the idea over and over of not seeking perfection, of just acknowledging there will always be flaws... and it's ok to work with them rather than staying stuck. So I guess that space is giving me that mindset.
B) My old coworker has offered to show me a space she is hoping to convert into offices. Apparently her family owns one of the mansions in my neighborhood. She reached out the night I was considering the other one... so now I am gonna go check that out. If it feels perfect, maybe I'll reconsider my position. I am potentially locked into my lease until Oct 2025 anyway... maybe I should just embrace the neighborhood again... it would likely be cheaper... likely a style I'd prefer.... very close to my place... could be the jump off point... for something later... but I think you could probably hear in my voice that I am ready for a change.
Excited to get away and try something else. I need to put myself in new spaces to have new experiences, its true everywhere I go, there I am... but also I need opportunities to experiences different parts of me, and I can't do that if I always go with the same old thing.
This morning some TikTok or something had Adele's "Someone Like You" and it made me think about E, and letting go, and looking forward. Not an easy thing, but even more difficult if I leave everything the same.
There is a lot to do no matter what, still some life to live (presumably). "Darlin there's no way to know, which way your heart will go" as Mason Jennings would say...
I am hoping it continues to expand, find space, hold space, flow with the times.
