Flowings of Your Everlasting Taffyman

Wow, I just went from absolute chaos to absolute understanding in like 2 seconds flat.





I just fucking hate myself, I'm not ever gonna get better until I get help, and I'm not gonna be able to put down this weight, or stop worrying, trying to help, until I do.

I know I'm never gonna be able to balance it out... no matter how much I show I care, or how much "good" I do... I'll still feel ashamed, I'll still feel its not enough... I'll see that look in your eyes that tells me you will leave, and I'll believe you, and I won't be honest. I won't hurt you even if it means I'd be free. I'll just keep trying to justify through the good, while hiding the bad things.
But I'm not good.

I may not deserve your love,
but I don't deserve your hatred either(I hope).

but I'd like to enjoy my life...
I'd really like to feel like I could be proud of myself for more than a few seconds.

So I'm gonna get help.
and if that means you aren't around...
I have to learn to be ok with it.
but I really loved you, this is the part I g