Time off

I woke up to the familiar loneliness, the lack of structure, the headache coming soon.
I knew if I didn't move it would all consume me, so instead I grabbed my things and ran to the familiar. I am reading books, and feeling grateful that I have time to sit. Time to process, and time to be curious, and time to let go. In this state, I don't need to grasp. There is a certain amount of contentment even in the discomfort. I recognize the polarizing attachments. Recognize my desire to tell stories so that I have something to hold onto. Recognize and amuse myself. Building sand castles,  attaching to the story, watching them get swept away. 
I want to spend some time practicing inviting the feelings in. All of them. Be the guesthouse. Be a welcoming host. Getting to know what they have to teach. Finding some truth, whether it be in following my soul's journey, or G-d's or recognizing that none of it matters at all and escaping samsara for a millisecond.  I don't have any answers. But I would like to be curious. I would like to people watch, get to know myself and you.