You are my sweetest downfall

Tomorrow is starting to feel like it may be a busy day. Something about not having a lot to do, makes you feel overwhelmed when a day is full. 

I couldn't get to sleep last night, I had so many thoughts that weren't necessarily invited, but they kept me up  till something like 4:30 (or later), after I tried to go to bed at about 1:30.  Then my Dad pocket dialed me at 7:30 and it started again. I think I got back to sleep by around 9ish, but it was super annoying.

I am supposed to do this video project for SoT, something about how SoT has impacted my faith and how community organizing is beneficial. I wrote up a script. It looks like the following.

My faith journey began as a child, baptized and brought up in the Lutheran church, I found myself in youth groups, volunteering in the nursery and for church plays. Going on youth mission trips. Confirmation classes, my faith and values developed through the stories in the bible and I began to understand very deeply that God works through people in the world, and wants us to be welcoming and to cherish each other as brothers and sisters.

Unfortunately, I didn’t see that in the church, by 16 or so, I felt like the church was a place that talked a big game, but didn’t follow through in action. 

I left the church but continued to explore my spirituality, and intended to act on my  deeply held values in the world. I became a high school teacher for at risk youth, working with these teenagers I wanted to help them recognize they have a place in a world but found that the world mostly attempts to keep them marginalized.

This is partially why the values at Spirit of Truth call out to me, in our community we recognize its not enough to talk a big game, we have to create the world we want to see.

We have started this in our community, getting to know each other through community events, art nights, yoga, prayer groups potlucks, discussion groups, talking, listening, singing together.

In these community building activities we have found shared stories, shared values and an eagerness to create a community and a larger society where all people are recognized and feel God’s love in their community. In our organizing we have also taken on social justice actions, working with Nurses, Low Wage Workers, union Members and most recently the Equality movements for justice in Marriage rights.

Personally this organizing has challenged me to speak out on the places where I see injustice, has moved me to be a part of the change to create a better world, and has allowed me to reconcile much of my faith values with the way I live my life.  I find at SoT we create together a space where holistically people’s needs are met, nourished and their gifts are allowed to blossom.

Being a member of SoT has opened new doors for me, given me clarity and allowed me to feel free to be my true self in the world, in a way that I have never experienced.  I think this is something that God wants for all of us. 

 Its funny how when you try to write something that feels real, it ends up sounding fake and vv. 

I think one thing that has changed about me in the last few years is that I no longer get so anxious about absolutes. I was rereading that last post and it seemed very absolutist in some things, but in general, I think I am less so. I am learning to experience and enjoy the complex gray wilderness.  I am more okay with contradicting myself in a sentence. I am more okay relying on people's good intentions.  Well, to some extent. 

Then there are the ways it is infuriating right?  I still expect those.

I thought I had something to say, but I am not sure I do. 

Listening to this band a lot