to have a crush or two

I'm sort of sick with this.
I think I am thinking/feeling way too much given the circumstances.
Its really starting to scare me.
How easily I lead myself to destruction because it smiles so nice.

How quickly one forgets one's self,
these positions that look the same.
These subtleties that remind,
these longings to touch and hold

when was the last time you felt so swept
and later swept to the corner where you weeped
how many embraces tarred and torn
how many lies to and from those adored.

I am pleasant, positive,
all connections aside
I am driven, good and confident
none from you derived.

Yet I find myself striving,
wondering what you would like
and it almost feels right
it almost feels right.