Flowings of Your Everlasting Taffyman

sometimes i just write cuz its been too long since the last post... you know how it goes.


this one goes out to carl sandburg
because laurel doesnt want me to blame her.

um jerk face.

anyway... lets see... the WRC (read morris feminists) or the other way around... had their first meeting tonight... and well... we may be in over our heads but were headed... and thats what counts right? right?
the idea this year is to have new people in the group grab hold of whatever they collectively decide to do with the name and the group and run with it.
so far that means planning take back the night in the shadows...but soon it willbe given light... we hope.


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in other news... i took the day off... in a sense...as in i had the morning to myself and went to the rally on the mall for AFSCME which mike the rock was covering for the new KUMM radio news show... and uh...
that was cool.
uh also i had class this afternoon... and uh... my teacher likes to teach by example... which sort of means that she is treating us like the jr high and high school students she used to teach... but she has some energy to her... and i think she is entertaining...

*******
this whole next section is probably a lie I tell myself.

I sort of summed it up for mike the rock today, the reason i am actually worried about my dating life and what not... its not cuz Im interested in people and have high standards... its cuz im not interested... and havent been interested in anyone since lex... and thats really weird for me..... its not that im not enjoying myself... i have really enjoyed hanging out with people lately... and this summer when Illy came home my world lit up... and even the first few weeks here i have been constantly missing her... but i havent really had those crushes... or anything... and thats weird because... well other than that brief period after becky before lex... and maybe like before 2nd grade... well not even then... i guess only that one time... and even then i had crushes....
so this is weird.
I dont have any interest in anyone as more than a friend..... i thought it was just the post relationship thing at first... but its sort of lasting.
and thats whats rough about it... cuz i am looking. but everyone i meet seems like they would make a great friend to me and nothing more.
i remember having crushes in preschool... in italy (high school) and India (college), I had like 6 crushes each in those short periods and none of them were like big deals... i didnt want any of those people as more than a friend then either... but i was sort of captivated by them... right now im not captivated... except by ex girlfriends... and then not even as bad as normal...


thats sort of a weird phase to run in to.
maybe i need to run away again.
maybe im just not being honest with myself yet and i am too guarded to admit things...
but i admit to people i find them attractive... or that i want to hang out with them a lot... i just dont want anything more than that...
i need new people... and the ones here are too young or maybe too sane... or maybe not right... or maybe involved... or maybe out of my league... or maybe too weird.... or maybe not weird enough...

just not as fixated on people as usual... thats hard for me.