Flowings of Your Everlasting Taffyman

Sometimes (especially when i have been alone too long) I start feeling really fucked up. Like i cant do things right, like what i care about isnt good enough for others, and the decisions i have made hurt others when really i want to care for them, or the care i have tried to show isnt wanted, or appreciated.
movies usually help. tonight i watched sarah silverman's "jesus is magic" and waiting (ryan renolds and others.
they were aight, but not what i was hoping for... often during the movie i stopped to check AIM, facebook and e mail.
movies used to cost me 6 for 3 bucks on tuesdays... its not tuesday but the two of them cost me 10 bucks... and thats fucked up too.
im tired and need to go to bed.
I was gonna take time off to find myself, and what i found was disappointment and regret piled on top of regret.
but today was not a bad day... it was rather ok... things went well. i used to be satisfied, content with a day filled with movies and music.... apparently now im needy.