Flowings of Your Everlasting Taffyman

The back ground noise spits fears on my conscious, keeping me from reaching unconsciousness.

I am aware, that I am afraid of starting regular life, because I fear that it will mean I can no longer continue with my own progress in becoming more enlightened. (not that my im going very fast) However I am also aware that in having a regular life it is possible that I will continue through the natural next few steps towards enlightenment. So I tend to straddle this wall, with freedom and adventure and the world on one side, and normal life (family friends career) on the other. Now I know in Buddhism they give you a bunch of choices but basically say, you should do what seems to be the natural next thing, so if you want a family, have a family. But I don't follow Buddhism to the extent I probably should. Western religions say do what you will, cuz you have a choice, but follow God and be good to people, I can do that either way. Other eastern religions tend to just make things complicated and or too simple. So religion is no help. Society says go to school, settle down, pay your bills, but our society sucks ass. So thats not right, all my friends are confused, my parents have chosen and don't seem too happy with it, and everyone else well they are too busy doing their own thing. So now you see why I have to go to Europe to get my head straight. Test the waters a little, come back with my shit figured out (hopefully) and start from there. Any questions? Comments? Suggestions?