I woke up late this morning, or rather I’d felt like sleeping in. When I woke up at 7 something the sky was blue and pink, but when I woke up later it was gray and rainy.
Late mornings equal headaches and difficulty focusing. So I was determined to get some caffeine and get out of the apartment.
By about 12:30 I’d done a few chores and decided I could get lunch and then get coffee and read and digest things.
The chipotle was really unclean. The workers sat around rather than cleaning when they had a break. The coffee shop had new art in the walls that I wanted to spend time with, but it was packed and talkative. I started a new book on grief- and struggled to concentrate. I ate half a monkey bread - not great for my stomach but…
Prior to going to the coffee shop I’d felt really lonely, after I didn’t want to deal with people. I was only there for 30-40 minutes and had to get up and go. It may also have been the cold rain on my clothes and not enough layers. Or the headache. Or the fact that I feel like I need to read some texts from my dad but don’t want to, because I’m irritable already.
On the way home I considered getting groceries just to have something productive to claim for the day before I give up. I decided not to. Maybe I’ll go out later and get some, but for now I’m in warm pjs and ready to take a nap. I’ll probably keep reading the book and it will knock me out.
I feel lonely today even though I don’t want to be with people. I want to be with a person.
Last night I drove to Hudson and my step grandparents bought me dinner, we played two different card games and they drove me around the town. It was actually really nice. I’d been nervous about it all week, and could easily see myself going back multiple times now.
I’m an old person I guess. Perkins and card games. My idea of a good time.
No comments:
Post a Comment