The lucky one?

 

Finished the good place'. ( I suppose I should say spoiler alert?)

The last season has a running theme of life as a human,

-making mistakes and trying to do better the next day

-finding meaning and pleasure due to scarcity...

Today, shortly after my last post, the coffee finally kicked in, and I was thinking about how its so easy for me to complain about being lonely, or not having anything to do... but actually my life is really good, really easy, almost nothing seriously wrong.  It's the lack of drama, of fear, of passion that I am complaining about, and it leaves me with oodles of time that can be spent... enjoying the nothingness. 

I played computer games all weekend, and watched a season of tv on Netflix. I didn't learn or grow much, but I wasn't in pain, I wasn't afraid, I wasn't fighting for my life. 

I have food in the fridge, and a healthy body. 

I have a nice apartment, that I can heat up or cool as I need. 

It's safe. It's stable. 

I have friends and family who I could reach out to.

I have all the surplus of the world at my finger tips. 

I am ready for bed. 

Tomorrow I will wake up early and help some kiddos solve some riddles of their life. 

It won't be the hardest work. It won't be the easiest. It will be meaningful, and then I will grab some groceries or some take out, and do it all over again until next weekend.

Nothing much changes, but it isn't bad. It's not getting much worse at least.

The winter is coming, it's already freezing... I will probably gain some weight. I will probably play more computer games. I will probably do the same old things... it's a safe, stable, cave I've found, stockpiled, not much better or worse than other years... and certainly I am lucky to have it.

It's a weird life. All the philosophers try to remind you that you live it alone, even when you're with people. It's a funny argument. I am not sure if cynicism or romanticism or realism?  or what... makes anyone any more happy.  It just is as it is. And will be.