The week before...

I am not sure how big of a deal to make anything. Its 1:36 in the AM, and I feel the need to make profound statements... to make grand pronouncements of the future!
Like, in the future... I will live on nothing but potatoes!
or by the time I return I will have 13 children!
or I will know how to play the guitar!

but the truth is... I have no idea what this trip will contain, or who I will be, or what I will want when I return. 
I know the amount in my bank account. 
I know I am addicted to sugar and caffeine so a potato only diet seems pretty rough.
I know I haven't produce a kid yet, so 13 seems a bit indulgent. 
I know my longest friend got engaged this weekend... and that when he first called to tell me I was chatting with my Mom and told her I was hoping he was gonna call and tell me he was engaged. So that was good timing. 
I know she practice EMDR therapy on me while we were sitting on the couch, and the process seemed to work way too quickly... and reminded me of every time I have ever processed anything. 

I know in the past week I have felt really grateful for my friends and family. Which is something I feel really happy to report because I wasn't sure my robot self was gonna allow it. 

I know I am getting there... as far as this trip. It comes on fast and then slows down and then rushes forward again.  Its a week. 

I need to make some more lists.  Get some copies and things prepared. Move a bunch of shit to my Brothers. See a few people a few more times... pay some bills.  Make some videos. Finish a book.

Hope for the best. 

Thas all we can do right?