Afro-peruvian music fueled this.

A few days ago I deleted the silly app Settlers of Oregon, or whatever. This wasn't necessarily in the interest of saving time from playing games. It took some time up, but most of that time was multitasking.  Actually it probably took up less time than the reason I deleted it.   You see I bought a game months ago before I went on my trip... thinking it would be a good thing to keep me busy with after the trip. But I have been pretty busy with naps, and new silly creations, and spanish (a little)... and so much stress.  So I actually deleted the app game, so that I might start playing the more time consuming game -weird I know. 

I had a really good day today. I spent it at a social justice in education conference.  I went to 4 workshops, the first was on  discretion in teaching social justice... and I think my take away was that a lot of people wish I had my job. Also that teachers need to be tricksters both in the classroom (tricking students into learning) and also in the larger context, dealing with admin and  society. We can't always be blunt in our approach because we know it is right... sometimes we have to play the game while privately undermining them. 

The second workshop I went to was so excellent!  It was these two math teachers at South who basically have rewritten their entire curriculum so that students are applying math to social justice research in their community. Looking at actual issues in the school and in the city, analyzing them with stats data and using algebra and what not to come to their conclusions.  They are letting the students come to their own place with it... which I like, but clearly the agenda is still there.  Really they aren't doing anything that wouldn't be done in a sociology class or a human geography class but they are giving the students the tools to do it. Teaching through that process. And because its math being transformed, its beautiful. 

The third session I went to was a little underwhelming which is sad, because the people who put it on put on the whole conference. The small session just wasn't as easy as I think they would have liked it to be.   I found myself in a small room working with a few people (I was the only teacher)  and one of the other participants was a student of mine... which made it more interesting. I had to juggle all these competing ideas and pulls. I ended up trying to help the organizers and they validated my student's experience. So there was a nice trade off. 

The final session I went to was lead by a leader of the St Paul Federation of Teachers... and discussed some of the ways the St Paul Union is pushing for social justice changes. Using their power to unite teachers and community and parents. There were some good push back questions from the audience about specific markers to address racial inequity, but overall it seemed like they had an agenda that was a push for everyone and great for the schools.  Doing the work of a union... and we applaud.

In-between I had a bunch of good experiences networking with colleagues who may not be in my same position. A lot of people seemed jazzed to hear my opinion and thought I had helpful comments and questions... which surprised me because one of the really enjoyable things about today was the level of professionalism and real desire for higher outcomes. I also had a lot of comforting and enjoyable conversations with random folks, like some college students over breakfast who as sophomores knew they wanted to work with youth... seemed fired up and inspired.  Anyway... it felt great to be surrounded by people who were passionate about the right things. I avoided areas in which I might normally have too much of a heads up (so I wasn't personally frustrated), and felt challenged to think about new possibilities and new opportunities the whole day.

That being said... it was a little overwhelming, and made me question why I would give up the safety of my stressful job, for something so unknown.  The Minneapolis school district is a mess and no one knows how to address that. The Minneapolis Union is also a mess and people seemed genuinely surprised by how active st paul was.   To top it off, will there be jobs for someone like me?  Will there be jobs in which I can express myself and be creative and dynamic and meet the needs of my students? There are entire new systems to get to know and understand, there is the possibility that I will get to know one place and then be moved to another or have to start over.
These are the things to consider.   Yet I don't think I should live into my fear... at worst, I sub?  At worst I get a different job for awhile?  A worst I travel and see the world a little and then come home to a similar situation? None of these are awful.

Oddly enough I came home and passed out.  Yeah habits die hard. 
I woke up hungry, for food, for comfort, for passion. 
It felt good to have a purpose for the day, to be surrounded by like minded all day. To have a room full of new people to look at.  To feel part of something larger and to struggle together. To be accepted for having ideas and vision and experience even when I don't necessarily see myself as the one who has much to offer.