One thing I do not appreciate about my job is that it is so demanding that I regularly feel disconnected from my center. Somewhere around 1 AM this morning I started feeling really truthful, not overwhelmed with emotion, not separate, but somewhere in the balance between creative and inspired, motivated, logical and yet able to emote... I wanted to paint and appreciate but felt I didn't have enough time, because 1 am means bed time soon... but I wished that that feeling would come more often. Sometimes it feels like months in-between spurts.
Earlier this year I told one of our administrators that 95 % of the time I love my job. I think that's mostly true, but sometimes I wonder what else I could be doing that would feel fulfilling. Would working with adults help? Would being in administration? Would fishing off a beach in Uruguay make the difference? Would switching to a 4 day week help? Should I take on less classes instead of more?
I get bored with the same old routines and yet maybe I need to focus more on me.
I have been thinking about how I haven't really exercised since some time this summer and even then it was like going for a walk.
I don't really take the time to take care of myself. I need to start obligating myself to things.
An art class or a writing class, or an exercise routine.
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