I think I forget about this

With Pete back in town, there are a lot more group activities. More gatherings... this is to be expected and on the first or second night home I stayed up with Pete discussing this effect he has on people. I mentioned it in the positive, and though I still maintain that it is a wonderful trait, I forgot one part of the group dynamic is the inevitable moment in which you realize that perhaps you aren't needed there. Its not that you aren't wanted, loved, cared for... its just that people can focus their attention on the others at any moment... and for someone like me who primarily hangs with one or two people at a time (getting their full attention)... this is a really uncomfortable feeling.

I assume everyone feels that way. I assume I made others feel that way tonight. Now its my turn, and I retreat to my room (like a pouting child or angsty teen). When I think about it, it is this feeling that makes me avoid groups NOT what I would normally say which is that it is hard to get to know people or have real conversations... that may be true too sometimes but primarily it is the fact that sometimes those conversations don't directly involve me... and my ego feels left out. Right now several of my friends are having fun in various locations of my house... but they are fully happy without my presence.

So I write here... a form of insecurity and jealousy arisen, why would anyone want to feel that arounf their friends?
Rather feel left out without being there in the first place and having it so obvious.