Some Thoughts

Today was a crabby day... that being said it fits rather perfectly with some of the thoughts I had.

Me and Jessica went to see a movie that showed a lot of the worst of humanity. We left a little depressed about humans... I maintained that this is why the movie was good, still it doesn't help the mood right?
1)
I said this to her in the car, but the human mind/soul is a really interesting thing, we are capable of tremendous good and bad... and this seems to be the theme of my mind this summer. I am constantly perplexed by the idea that the same mind is capable of torture and social work, of saving lives and destroying them, and perhaps that in both cases the people may or may not feel that their actions were "good." I mean, I know social workers and teachers and doctors and counselors who at the end of the day aren't proud of the work they did, aren't sure that what they did was good... and I know that there are murderers and rapists and all sorts who think of themselves and their actions of that of a good person. So what does that mean?
Is it all relative?
Is a child molester all dependent on the societal circumstances that they live in? After all in some cultures and time periods it was considered normal and healthy.
Is someone who lets the water run an extra minute in the shower equally as guilty as someone who deprives another of water?

2) I was reading a draft of some chapters of my mom's book. Its a self help book based off her new counseling technique and centers around the idea of healing oneself so that one can act with integrity. Are there times when it is ok, or better, or human nature to want to act without integrity? Is a child who tortures an animal acting with integrity, what about one who is simply learning through dissection? Is a soldier who is following orders in a "just war" acting with integrity, what about an "unjust war"? Is a teacher who yells at a student for acting out, acting with integrity even if the child is justified in their frustration?
Are there times when acting without integrity is ok? Like lying to yourself or another to have a one night stand because you are horny if both people are doing it?
Is it ok to say "well its not hurting anyone" while doing something risky but exciting when perhaps, you are putting yourself(or your relationships) in a precarius situation?

*****update later***** Becky sometimes gets mad at me for thinking about everything sexually... but thats where my mind is sometimes... So for instance: At school we often talk about the issues surrounding the sex industry and sex and gender roles. At times I find myself teaching things I don't actually believe... or that I know are not always true. So for instance I told Illy this once... I understand that it is not a "cool" thing to yell out your car window at a woman walking the street... its immature possibly crude and very likely disrespectful not nessessarily because you are saying something rude, but perhaps just because yelling "hey beautiful" to someone doesn't give them any chance to respond, interact or react for that matter... yet I am sure there are some women who have not had that happen to them or havent had it happen to them in a while and that type of normally unwanted attention may actually remind them that they too are beautiful. Is one person's unwanted attention anothers wanted attention, either way it isn't nessesarily a good thing to act that way... another example I read from a book is this idea of objectifying people... when this happens people feel less a full human person... and more like an object... but are there not people who want that kind of attention?
When you are with a loved one do you not want them to see your sexiness and isn't it often dependent on mood rather than the way they act specifically? All the time I read casual encounters stuff on craigslist and see men women and all others posting about causal hook ups in which they want nothing more than sex... when they are in this mode they aren't asking "What do you do for a living?" or "What makes you feel passionate?" they are asking what gets you off? In what ways can you make me feel sexy? those arent statements that inquire about the well rounded human being that person is... not the person who acts with integrity... just the fuck fiend (in all of us).


3)
Are there times when its ok to have negative feelings and act upon them?
For instance I was crabby today, and if I had been focused on having a positive time, healing myself, acting with integrity... I might not have been crabby, I might not have done some of the actions I did based on being crabby... but am I never entitled to my crabbiness, my depression, my anxiety, my fear, my guilt, shame, grief, rage or anger? Must I always act assertively and with integrity, or is it ok to act shy and passive aggressive... or pissed off and jealous.
Am I responsible for the actions I commit when under these negative feelings? Sure, but do I hold others to that standard, sometimes.





4)
When someone puts you or your situation at risk, do you have the right to hold it against them?
This could range from Person A is affecting my relationship with Person B, or it could be Person C is going to fuck up my job, or Person D is threatening my country, or Person E is acting in a way that threatens my sensibilities of what is right.
Is it ok to hold it against them when they truly believe they are doing the right thing?




Those are some thoughts