Tough day at the office, the boss was really reaming me hardcore.

I have been water coloring for the last few hours... nothing too grand. I sort of hate the paper that I bought specifically for water coloring... I thought it would work, but it doesn’t... it sucks up the water like a sponge.
One of my goals for the year was to do more painting when I could... I mostly meant water coloring because anything else takes too long to set up and dry and what not... So I am doing that... but it’s slow and less regular than I hoped.
This thing keeps switching to italics...

My fortune cookie said "You will have good luck in your personal affairs." I don't know what to think of that. Yesterday I was feeling lonely and unwanted, but then I sort of reminded myself how many wonderful people are in my life... and that made me feel better, but I sort of hope my personal affairs means I will have good luck in meeting someone, or convincing myself to maybe have faith or reach out more.

Last night I had a dream in which I was laying on a bed in an unknown house. It seemed like a very modern house and it had a big window above the bed. It was night, but from the window I could clearly see the stars and the moon. Then a planet moved in... closer than the moon or sun. It seemed to take up a huge area of the window and I guessed that by its size it was Jupiter (but its very well could have been Neptune or Uranus. It may have had some rings, but I am not sure I noticed them until I saw the second planet, a different color moving in slowly and as it moved in I recognized it as Saturn. The first planet continued on its path and then suddenly it moved faster and faster, further and further away...
Saturn took the center stage. It was beautiful and just like the first planet it filled my eyes and the room with a glow, a wonderful sense of beauty and calm, yet exciting, eventful. I couldn't sleep with this magnificence in my view... and called out. My brother James equally excited came into the room and I tried to explain what I was seeing... but he knew already. He was calmer than I, but also excited and he explained to me why the planets move in so slow and then so fast away (some trick of physics and the eye).
As Saturn left, James pointed out that a small Mars was coming into view. It was larger of course than I have ever seen it, but it looked so small in comparison to the gas giants.
It was somehow a sad sight, but also it reminded me of home.

I remember being in awe of this event I had witnessed... and I wanted to tell everyone... but I would have to wait till morning.

From a dream dictionary:
Planet
To see a planet in your dream, signifies creativity, exploration, and new adventures. You may be trying to align yourself with untapped energies that you never knew you had. Look up specific planet for additional significance.
Jupiter ?
To see Jupiter in your dream, symbolizes creativity, energy, success, optimism, generosity, pleasure and extravagance. The dream may indicate your need to exhibit some of these qualities in your waking life.
Neptune ?
To see the planet Neptune in your dream, represents inspiration, imagination, and devotion. You may need to show some more compassion and understanding.
Uranus ?
To see Uranus in your dream, represents originality, unconventional thinking, independence, freedom, and individualism. You may be rebelling against some situation in your waking life. Alternatively, it indicates that something unexpected is about to occur.
Saturn
To see Saturn in your dream, represents discipline, constraints, and a conservative attitude. It is also indicative of the lessons of life bringing about destruction and rebirth.
Mars
To see Mars in your dream, symbolizes drive, passion, fearlessness and ambition. It also represents war and masculine power.



Well I don't know what to think about that. To me it might have represented two or three different forces or directions, I sort of felt like they were different options...
But I woke up wondering if I would ever see that beauty and experience that kind of wonder again... and it made me sort of excited.


Yeah by office I meant school, boss = students, reaming means not listening to me in this case.

This week we are testing... today was the harder day about 5 students doing math. Tomorrow a few students will do reading and I only have to watch them for an hour. I don't like testing. I have to be a jerk and tell kids they cant go to the bathroom or take smoke breaks. When I finally give in, I have to make sure they actually go to the bathroom (rather than take a smoke break).

I constantly feel like an ass when I lay down the law at work. I also constantly feel that the students take advantage of me. I don't want to kick a kid out of class for talking (I talk), I don't want to kick a kid out for sleeping (I sleep), I don't want to kick a kid out for expressing their self in a rude manner (they have the right), But I also don't want to disrespect the rest of the students by allowing one student to ruin the whole class. Everyone tells me, just be hardcore.
But its usually not one student who is the problem, its all of them, what am I gonna kick 6 kids out?

I need to stop class and have more "hey guys, we need to follow the rules" talks.