my finder hurts from smearing oil pastel

Sometimes I miss the feeling of taking care of someone, being interested in them, giving them attention, Feeling like my life has some sort of purpose in pursuing another person's pleasure...

Tonight I feel lonely and i miss the feeling of someone being interested in me, wanting to make me happy etc.

I seem to have obligations this weekend, but nothing I am super looking forward to. I guess I have been looking forward to seeing Illy, but we are both so busy these days.

Becky is having an art crawl at her place. Its hectic. Awkward to be there right now. Hard to interpret looks and handshakes. Hard to know what people are thinking and feeling.

Im gonna watch a movie and go back to bed.